<p>I currently go to a small (around 2,000 people) college on the east coast, I was thinking about transferring due to how expensive the college is, (42,000 a year) I get sorta good financial aid about 15,000 off, but the rest I have to take with loans. I am a sophomore at this college and I feel like I haven't really clicked at this school, everyone has their groups/cliques based on their major, and then there is me. I have a few good friends, but outside of those two people I don't really have a "group". I am quiet, but I really make friends one-on-one in individual settings, where we can have deep, meaningful conversations. The closest friend that I have here is very outgoing and sometimes I get stuck in her shadow. Outside of like 5 or 6 people here, I do not really like the people that go to this college. I have asked people to hang out/do stuff with me and they will make up excuses not to do stuff with me, there are also a lot of nerdy types at this college and I feel like we have nothing in common. I talk to people in my classes, but outside of the classroom we do not talk. I did not get as involved freshmen year because I had a hard time adjusting and spent most of my time studying/in my room. I am trying to get more involved this semester, but I do not want to do so much stuff so that my grades suffer. Academically, I like this college and it is challenging, but I have been getting good grades.
I thought I would enjoy this college and make friends easily because of the small atmosphere, but that has not been the case, and I know it is partly due to my own fault. The people here are not very friendly, I always have to be the one to initiate any type of conversation, even at freshmen orientation no one talked to me and I had to go out of my way to talk to people. Most of the people that go here are about 40% commuters and most people that go here are from the state and live within the area (even the people who live on campus). My roommates are all involved in the theater program here and I am the only roommate that is not involved. So they are all good friends, and I get along with them but they have more in common with each other. I feel like I am one of the only people who is 2 1/2 hours from home. Its not like I'm strange or bizarre looking, I am a normal looking girl and I am confident in how I look.I feel like I have to fight or impress people and be someone I'm not in order for people to even consider being friends with me. I can not help that I am introverted, I really thrive on one-on-one friendships and getting to know people in depth, I feel like I can't know a person individually unless I have in-depth one-on-one conversations with them and i feel like no one else is like me at this college.
I want to transfer because I feel like it is a waste of money to go to this college if I am not getting the real college experience. I also am hesitant to transfer because I do not want to start this whole experience all over again and then screw up. I hate being in new situations and not knowing anyone. I am thinking of transferring to a college closer to my family, and I am also considering another college that is 6 hours away. Things did not go as well freshman year at the college I am currently at because I feel like I was too invested in my family and friends back at home, and all I looked forward to was going home to see them (I am 2.5 hours from home). So I am thinking of transferring really far away so I will not be able to visit home as often, and that will force me to make friends at the new college. Or I was thinking of transferring to a college closer to home but living on campus so I can see my family more often. I also do not want to disappoint my family back home for transferring, I do not want them to think I'm a failure for not fitting in at this college. But I do not want to transfer to a different college and then not being able to make any friends at a new college. I am completely torn about what to do. I am sorry this is so long, I would appreciate any feedback, thank you!</p>