<p>Hmmmm… With all three of mine I didn’t do anything other than answer “Mom, what’s Dad’s work address?” and “What’s yours and Dad’s social security numbers?” haha… Other than that, they were on their own. 
They all made it into college and they knew it was all their work. I have to say I was only nervous about the process for my oldest because he only applied to one college! I tried to live what I told my kids… “It will be alright and you will get into the right college for you.” Since I really did believe that, there really wasn’t a reason to be nervous. However, I am so glad the whole college application thing is over for now!</p>
<p>I think you have to look at the strengths and skills of every student to see where to step in or not. The college application process today is HUGE and complicated compared to my day where I applied to one school and fortunately, got in. </p>
<p>Forget it is a student you are guiding but it could be anyone ie a spouse, a coworker or client in any subject that they are not familiar and there is no good way to do it over so you really want it to go right the first time.</p>
<p>My experience is there are a lot of adults out there who are not so capable of pulling off a complicated event ie wedding, bar mitzvah that require months of planning, coordinating, checking and double checking. I don’t see that the OP did anything truly out of line or inappropriate. </p>
<p>I wish her daughter the best at getting in to the school of her choice. If she doesn’t it may have nothing to do with the application. There is still a lot of politics (legacy admissions), money (OOS students bring in more) and prestige (sports students admitted over others) that are at play, so don’t feel guilty dotting some "i"s or proofreading the text.</p>
<p>Our DDs were like Momfirst’s - totally self directed. We paid for the apps and they did everything after that. We didn’t even get to see their essays.</p>
<p>Just my opinion: It’s fine to check kids’ applications for accuracy, but people seem to be far over the line on the written answers and essay help.</p>
<p>Let them write their own essays; they’re applying for college! Will you be proofreading, editing and correcting their papers next year?</p>
<p>Not that it matters, but I haven’t touched my students essays. That’s what his English teacher is there for. To proof and give feedback. I think there is a difference between administrative and creative. Administretive is making sure the personal data is correct. Creative is essays, statements, and resumes if applicable. I think many parents draw the line at these areas, just as they would not do their students schoolwork.</p>
<p>As I spoke out in favor of assisting students to some degree I wanted to clarify. </p>
<p>Thanks for your input xrCalico23. Young adults who express themselves clearly without bashing parents are welcome addition in my opinion.</p>
<p>The most important part of college application is a student’s grades. It is something that’s completely owned by a student, at least in our house. A student with 3.0 is not going to get into any top tier schools, no matter how much help you try to give. </p>
<p>After D1 worked extremely hard by herself to get over 4.0 UW GPA by junior year, we helped her with scheduling of college visits, SAT tutoring, reminded her with communication with various professors at different colleges, proof read her essays…We wanted the same result, for her to go to a top tier school. She was very busy with her schoolwork and ECs. As a family, we stepped in to help out whenever we could. Even with all of our help, she missed a very important art supplement deadline because it was so unexpected (3 weeks before the RD date). It happened to be her most important (the only) EC. Luckily, it wasn’t her dream school.</p>
<p>At D1’s last stretch of college process, when she was exhausted and defeated (you are welcome to read some of my posts), I was the one who stepped in to “salvage” the situation. I convinced her to go to a school that was never on her radar, and I spoke with the adcom and her GC directly without my daughter’s permission (gasp). </p>
<p>D1 is a senior in college now. She thanked me the first week she was on campus. She’s had the best 3 years of her life. She is a head TA for a course (managing few graduate students), on the student counsel and responsible for the graduation week senior’s activities (3000+ students). She got an internship by herself this past summer, and was also offered a permanent job after graduation. </p>
<p>I don’t believe just because parents help a kid out with the college process, it some how means a kid is not ready for college. At the end, the college process brought D1 and us even closer. With her job search, she consulted us, but we didn’t have the same level of involvement as the college process.</p>
<p>I am glad that we were able to offer help to D1 with one of her first major event,s and she trusted us enough to let us help. Through out her life, I hope she will always feel comfortable to come to us for our opinion with any major decisions she needs to make.</p>
<p>We are now starting with D2, she is a different person than D1. She has a private counseler to help her out, so we won’t be as nervous, and I do not apologize for having a private counseler because it works for my family and D2.</p>
<p>You were moved involved than I was, but DD1 applied 6 years ago and I swear the process was a bit simpler even that recently. </p>
<p>I did take care of SAT registration and usually did the actual logging in to send scores, etc. since I was home during the day and had way more time. They did the resumes, etc at school and the teacher, adviser and counselor all read them and proofed, so that was something that was already taken care of. To this day, I have no idea what DD1 and DD3 wrote about for their essays. I only know what DD2 wrote about because I had to read part of it when she couldn’t attend a scholarship award ceremony and they wanted something from her read to the attendees. Only one of them asked me to look over her application before submitting; I never saw any others. </p>
<p>I did have to run a form up to the school for the counselor to sign for DD3’s ED application - at the last minute of course, but overall it was fairly smooth.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>I let D2 sign up for SAT and she didn’t hit submit because she thought she was done (she even input my credit card number, but not submit). It wasn’t until I asked her to print out her ticket few weeks later that she realized she was not registered. The only avaialbe site was 6 hours drive away.</p>
<p>I just want to say that I consider MYSELF to be a fairly intelligent parent but the process of sending ACT’s vs SAT’s, when and which scores has been so confusing to me that it took a lot of research on this board to hopefully get it right! Her ACT’s and and her last SAT were absolutely equivalent if you look at the SAT’s out 2400. However the score was skewed due to a very high W score and a low CR score. But she just took the SAT’s again. The GC was not helpful. She said wait until 10/28, see what she got on the SAT and then call her to decide which scores to send. But she applied EA to all schools so accordimg to what I have read this would be too late. This is the type of detail that she would have missed.</p>
<p>mumof2 - I am also anxious for D’s results…and I felt I ended up being more involved in monitoring D’s app process than I wanted to. All the work was hers however I did review each app, her essay for typos, and paid for the spps and scores. However, our school has their first application meeting in mid-Spetember which in my opinion is too late. All transcript requests ned tobe in Oct 1 for any Nov 1 deadline…which makes the kids scramble. If you have a kid that is very involved in ECs/sports and taking APs, it leaves little time for college apps…so, I stepped in when she asked and even then, there were several senior meltdowns (which is out of character for her). She is a kid that thrives on pressure and I am not sure i the realization that “this is it” got to her, self-doubt, or if she has been overtired or whatever, but this process just put her over the edge. She is also applying for limited seats in a competitive major so most of the apps along with a portfolio are due Nov 1. Some schools require two apps, one to the school and one to the program…so the workload has been heavy along with all of regular activites and academics. I just think that this process is too important for the parents to be completely hands off but I think it is necessary to monitor it from afar and to be avaiable if the student asks for help or to nudge them when necessary.</p>
<p>And yes, I am anxious for her, she has worked very hard and has had her eye on a particular major since she was a small child. She has a good shot at getting into a number of programs but then again you never know until the fat packet arrives.</p>
<p>There are many subtle nuances that can be missed unless you and your student really are on top of things. </p>
<p>I have friend who is a teacher and was very on top of the process. Her son was valedictorian of his class. However, when he did his college applications, he was not able to put down he was an AP scholar. He did not take any AP classes in 10th grade because the GC at the school hadn’t prompted him to do so. The school only allows students to take 2 AP classes a year and you need to have completed 3 exams by the end of 11th with a 3 or better. </p>
<p>How many hs students would have anticipated this?</p>
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<p>And for tone…sometimes kids can come off sounding like real jerks when in real life they are not.</p>
<p>And for purpose–I once read an essay for a student and commented to her that it was a great essay that would get her MOTHER into college, but didn’t really tell me anything about her.</p>
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<p>I don’t think that anyone would argue that point. I just happens that the college app process (combined with multiple AP courses and demanding ECs) is the first such complicated executive management project most 18-year olds have undertaken. </p>
<p>So it is a great opportunity to work with our students to explain and demonstrate the methods that can be used to manage and complete the job. It is also a pretty high-cost time for a sink-or-swim lesson. </p>
<p>I helped track dates and acted as sounding board and editor when requested during the ap process. Our son graduated from college on time last May with a demanding major. He never asked me to proof his papers or to help him manage his time, so it does not appear that the administrative help I gave him 5 years ago severely crippled him. :)</p>
<p>"get over 4.0 UW GPA " - How one can get over 4.0 uw if the highest grade is 4.0 in the USA. Even A+ is still just 4.0, even over 100% is just 4.0.</p>
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<p>Really? Both of my kids went to school in the US. A+ =4.33, A=4.0, A-=3.66…</p>
<p>D1’s college uses such system to calculate GPA too.</p>
<p>Well, D1 had a lot of A+ and only one B in high school.</p>
<p>A+ at both D’s HS and college has been only 4.0. However, A- is less than 4.0. I never knew that some schools give more than 4.0 for A+. Just learned something new. D. had three A- which lowered her college GPA to 3.98. She had several A+. School stated policy clearly. D. did not care, A- were in her minor that she enjoys a lot. She has never had any B’s so far.</p>
<p>Our school does not give or take anything for + or -. Many schools don’t. It is one more crazy variable to add to the mix.</p>
<p>The pressure is off…D got her first acceptance today - Tulane Architecture Program! </p>
<p>So relieved…</p>
<p>OP: I sympathize. I was also involved, and nervous. Until April 1st. After that, it has been sweet. Very sweet.</p>
<p>Excellent! Congratulations!</p>