<p>Melsmom, I join others in my sorrow for your loss. I also appreciate your sharing of something this difficult in order to pass it on to others. I admire your strength. Thank you.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your kind words, both on this thread and in my personal mailbox. I have to say that it really hasn't gotten any easier, and I miss my son more every day...As parents we all do everything in our power to give our kids a good start in life, after that we have to just hope and pray for the best.</p>
<p>We were fortunate that no one else was injured, or worse, in the incident. You see Brendon had a BAC of .39 %, which even though he was a big boy at 6 foot 200 lbs, is acute blood alcohol poisoning. My research shows that a person with that level is usually unconscious, and it is sometimes fatal just to go to sleep. A person in that condition can not make rational decisions, how he managed to even start the car is beyond me. My point to other kids is that they truly can make a difference in a situation like that where it is obvious that this person will hurt himself or others, but even if it isn't so obvious... Today's paper told of an underage drinker involved in a fatality that had only .05 % BAC, so it is always better as a friend to err on the side of: "Drinking? No keys, you're sleeping over!" PLEASE, you can make a difference.</p>
<p>I am thankful for this forum and for the kindness you have shown. Staying busy has been our way of dealing with this, and thanks to all of the info provided here on CC, I am very busy indeed helping to inform my D so that she too has a good start in life. It's all we can do as parents, besides hope and pray.</p>
<p>Thanks again,
Eileen</p>
<p>Camge,
I to was extremely upset to here about this tragic loss. My daughter is presently at the performing arts camp, and was very good friends with this girl. Needless to say, she called me hysterically about the incident. The camp was in shock and had a difficult time coming to terms with this loss. They held a memorial service that the family attended, and that helped the kids deal with this loss. It really made the kids understand their mortality, and I hope help them deal more maturely with the choices they make. My daughter is still grieving, and I am sure, will continue to grieve for a long time. This informatio circled the country. My daughter will be roommates with a girl from the other coast, and she called us as she heard about this loss through her best friend. The theater community is very small, and very supportive.</p>
<p>Someone just sent me this website.
I am the mother of the 19 year old CAP21 student who died in July. Unfortunately, alcohol WAS involved in this accident, as well. I also, ALWAYS lectured my daughters about driving under the influence & getting in the car of someone else who'd been drinking. I gave that lecture more often than anyone can imagine. In fact, I gave it before Dina left for camp this past summer. Dina knew the driver of the car, and I suspect she trusted him. He also had worked at the camp the previous summer, and was 25 years old...and already out in the workforce. I've spoken with many of her friends who say she would never have gotten in that car (to go to McDonald's) if she'd thought he was impaired. She wouldn't even drive or allow anyone else to drive her, if everyone's seatbelts weren't on. She was in the rear driver's side seat, with her seatbelt on.
Dina had absolutely everything to live for. She had wonderful friends, was a SAG must-join, performed professionally in theatre, commercials, print, voice-overs, etc. She had this incredible personality....like a light that drew people to her. One of the things that has kept me alive are the numerous memorials to her. Her sorority, CAP21 (early on) & room mate have been incredible. Her high school track & diving teams both dedicated the season to her (and gave awards in her memory). The high school performing group & local jcc each put up plaques. The camp dedicated the circus to her. We have a foundation...one of the things we're doing with it is to dedicate a stage...at a school for at-risk children. The synagogue show "Funny Girl" was dedicated to her, and her boss (she ran childrens services for several years) is working on an outdoor chapel in her memory. I can go on & on.
Without our friends....I don't think I'd even get out of bed. The loss is absolutely inconceivable. Even now, I expect to wake up from this horrible nightmare. Even when Dina was away, I'd hear from here at least several times a day. I miss just hearing her laugh, seeing her smile....seeing her perform. I'll never know what she was capable of...but I know it was a lot.
I miss her with every breath I take. Never take your children for granted - I know I didn't. Use my daughter as an example!</p>
<p>Dear Goldys,</p>
<p>I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter! From the way you describe Dina and the heartfelt community support, she was obviously someone incredibly special! I suppose that is why God chose her to be with him...she is surely lighting up the heavens with the same talent, grace and personality! I know that does not make it any easier for you though.</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing your journey with us and your reminder to never take our children for granted! I have not and will not. My three children are my world, they bring joy to my every day! I know I would feel the same way that you are feeling if the situation were reversed. Your words will be kept with me forever and all the parents who read your tragic post. </p>
<p>Again I am so sorry for all that you are going through. I do not know you and didn't know your wonderful daughter, but you are in my thoughts and prayers!</p>
<p>Kathie</p>
<p>Goldys:
Thank you so much for sharing your daughters story and telling us about how loved and missed she is. My heart literally aches for you. I imagine that this holiday today is one of those particularly bad days, as are all the holidays this year (I am guessing). As caring, supportive, involved parents, you are truly living the worst nightmare of our lives. It sounds like you have the support of many people, including the members of your congregation, in your loss, but it might help to know that this community of musical theatre parents and students feel an instant bond and can sympathize very deeply with you. Your description has made Dina very vivid for us.</p>
<p>Goldys:</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing your painful story. I will show it to my D today, and since it's Mother's Day she will have to give me the time! My D is another trustworthy kid who would never knowingly get in the car with an impaired driver. Dina's story will reinforce those lessons as she gets ready to leave for college in the fall.
I am happy for you that Dina's life and spirit is being remembered in such beautiful ways. </p>
<p>Thank you for your post,and for reminding us to cherish every day with our kids. </p>
<p>Diana</p>
<p>Goldys,
Your loss of Dina is unimaginable. All of us parents ache for you and cannot begin to fathom how you feel and live day to day. </p>
<p>I know that Dina was an incredible young woman, even though I personally did not know her. I heard about this last summer right away. First of all, my 19 year old went to French Woods Festival for four years from ages 11-14 and recalls Dina. My other D, who just finished freshman year at CAP21, went to Stagedoor Manor, an hour from FWF, for 8 summers including last summer. From that initial connection, the story of Dina touched me. While I live in Vermont, I grew up outside of Philadelphia. My mom still lives there and I happened to be down there around the time of Dina's passing and saw the long article about her in the newspaper. My mom pointed it out because there were so many parallels in Dina's life with particularly my D who is going into Musical Theater. First, there was the camp. Then, CAP21. Also, what I read about Annie. Then that she exceled at several sports as well. Dina was an outstanding achiever in many areas and full of talent and pizzazz. It is so clear that she was someone who stood out in every way. Any mom would be lucky to have her as their daughter. You must feel such pride for all she did and was in her lifetime. She touched many, I am sure. She must be a role model for other girls in your area, as well. </p>
<p>Another reason my mom pointed out the article was because my musical theater D, who was 16 at the time and headiing off to CAP21 last fall, was in a terrible car crash last March, the kind of crash that one would expect the driver to die. It was horrific and a nightmare but as horrible as it all was, your nightmare was worse. I don't know why my D lived and survived this very serious crash. She went from serious injuries, intensive care and so much more, where so many serious complications were on the edge, and yet, she survived and healed and was able to go onto CAP, etc. Soonafter, I read of another accident of a girl her age near us, and she did not survive. It is a question that I can't still grapple with why some live through it and some do not. This year, my D's roomie, also in CAP21, as well is a theater friend from home...her 14 year old brother was in a car crash here and he survived but his best friend since birth, also 14, died, and the driver who was also his girlfriend, age 16, died. That girl was a standout in musical theater and only two days before had won the state award for voice. My D tells me that a friend of hers in CAP21, a freshman, is confined to a wheelchair (it is so wonderful CAP accepted her!) and that is because she was in a car crash hit by a drunk driver when she was three. My daughter's second roomie next year, also in CAP, lost her then 17 year old sister a few years ago who was in a car crash hit by a drunk driver. All this loss. I don't even have to know them or know Dina to be crying. </p>
<p>I also want to share with you that Dina came up about ten days ago and I think you would want to know this. On the last day of CAP21 studio for freshmen, after they had finished their final demos, Frank Ventura addressed them as an entire group, along with the faculty. He told them to take great care this summer and be so careful when they drive because he wanted to see them back in the fall. He brought up Dina and broke down and the entire faculty broke down. My D said she could not imagine how the faculty who had embraced Dina now felt to have lost her. She touched them deeply and they shared this with every freshman there and that is how the semester ended. Her life and story have now touched those who came after her at CAP.</p>
<p>Dina's legacy will touch many people and I hope you take comfort in that she is thought so highly of by those who knew her but now also those who did not know her first hand because her life and the situation surrounding her death will continue to touch many for years to come. The tributes you speak of also demonstrate that. </p>
<p>I am so sorry for Dina's loss. Many who don't even know you are thinking of you and care. I think you will continue to find ways to make meaning of her life and her death and others will benefit from it and so Dina is still touching others today through you. Thank you for sharing here. None of us wish to be in your shoes but can appreciate your feelings because so many here are parents, let alone parents of kids who do musical theater. Our thoughts, prayers and support are with you from afar.</p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p>goldys,</p>
<p>Thank you for reaching out to so many here, especially during this season of proms and graduation parties. I realize it hasn't even been a year yet since Dina's passing, and want to send my sincerest sympathy to you, especially today, your first Mother's Day without her. The year of firsts is incredibly difficult, and I want you to know you are not alone ...((((HUGS)))) to you and yours.</p>
<p>Melsmom,
I want you to know that we all are still thinking of you and your similar loss to Goldys'. I'm sure the pain is and will always be there and that today is especially difficult. So, sending lots of hugs to you as well.
Susan</p>
<p>Goldys, It must be so hard for you to even talk about all you've been through in this past year, yet you have opened yourself up to all of us, in order to help others. Thank you for sharing and know that you and your daughter will be in our hearts and on our minds. Peace be with you.</p>
<p>soozievt -- </p>
<p>i didn't know that your d's roommate was so closely connected to the car accident in vermont earlier this year. i knew the girl who won an all-state scholarship (i sat next to her at the festvial last year when i won), she was incredibly talented. after sitting next to her for those few days, i mentioned that she audition for the scholarship this year, knowing that she would likely be successful. i was incredibly upset to hear of the tragedy, as i am to hear of all the stories mentioned here.</p>
<p>it makes you really thankful for everything, huh?</p>
<p>i'm so sorry for everyone's losses.<br>
maggie</p>
<p>This post.. brings back a lot of memories.</p>
<p>Some of you might remember I am a FWF camper, and now, a FWF Councelor. I was there when this tragedy occured. There are no words to describe the feeling of emptiness, horror, ache, and loss that pervaded the camp that day. I can only pray that I, and everyone else, will never, ever have to go through something like that again. </p>
<p>As a super, or junior councelor, I had the horrible job of crying with my campers about the funny councelor who taught them how to fly. I had to answer questions ranging from 'are there trapeezes in heaven' all the way to asking why god got to have fun with Dina and Chris (The other counclor who died in the accident) while they couldn't anymore.</p>
<p>It was.. devestating. </p>
<p>Mrs G... words can not express my sympathy.</p>