a parents worst nightmare...

<p>I know that Virginia Tech is not on our musical theatre radar, but this tragedy affects all of us...either getting ready to send our children off to school, or those of us who have already sent them. My thoughts and prayers go out to all involved. Truly, a parents worst nightmare. I know I could use a hug from my d who is down in Virginia.....</p>

<p>notfromme, I have been watching this on CNN all morning and into this afternoon, and it truly IS a nightmare, for all concerned. It's hard to fathom why something like this happens, isn't it? Inexplicable. I am sure we will all be following this story for many days and weeks to come in an effort to figure out what happened.</p>

<p>Though I write for a living, I could not possibly find words to express how horrible this is. I'm in the DC area, so this feels close to home -- even though it's several hours away, a lot of kids from this area go to Va. Tech. Some friends of ours have 3 kids. The oldest one almost went to Tech last year -- and is an engineering student. They don't post here, but the middle one just got accepted to OCU for MT. I can only imagine the emotion in that family today.</p>

<p>Thankyou for mentioning this sad occurence it tempers the world we have been focusing on regarding our children and the pursuit of their dreams</p>

<p>What a black monday this has been. My heart just aches for the families of these kids. I'm still just stunned.</p>

<p>it is so hard to understand the darkeness/despair of a soul that is capable of such an action.</p>

<p>So often kids finish HS and begin college with that sense of immortality and invulnerability. Today kids all across the country have been shown that just isn't true.</p>

<p>My wife and I are traveling until Thursday. I only wish we were home tonight to hug our kids. A phone call is not enough</p>

<p>I haven't been online for three days. I learned of this tragedy late this afternoon. </p>

<p>This is a horrific circumstance beyond compehension and pulls at the emotions of any parent, student, or human being. I absolutely cannot imagine being a parent of a student at Virginia Tech....For one thing......the ones who lost a child or had an injured child have suffered beyond what is fathomable....young promising lives of loved ones gone in an instant in such a tragic way. But even for those who did not get shot....I can't imagine the panicked parents who heard the news and had no idea if harm had come to their child for a very long time. I also cannot imagine the horror for students who witnessed the shootings and survived and were not the ones who were shot (some were interviewed on the news) and the nightmares that will plague them and the fear they have gone through. I can't imagine even for any student on campus what it is like given the fears, plus that all are friends or friends of friends touched by this. Same goes for my wondering if any CC families were affected and already my heart goes out to two parents here whose kids were friends with victims. This tragedy has affected scores of people.</p>

<p>While I don't think these incidents can be completely avoided no matter what a college (or society) does, I do think that the way handguns are so available to anyone and they make it easier to take down many people in a short amount of time. If someone were wielding a knife, for example, they could not harm as many people in that amount of time and they might be able to be subdued or overtaken but one can't subdue a person with a gun.</p>

<p>I also dislike the finger pointing of what the college coulda shoulda done. Some things can't be avoided. It is easy to say this or that in hindsight but while very few facts are out yet, it appears they were dealing with a murder in the dorm (possible domestic spat) and would have had no idea that more murders were to come later. I don't think there is some massive loudspeaker. I just don't know but I realize the need to blame someone (I think the perpertrator is the one to blame here) but I don't think it makes sense to blame others who can't truly prevent such incidents. I do think as such incidents occur, schools will examine whatever additional measures that might help in the future, but it won't stop this. </p>

<p>The whole murder and violence aspect is horrendous, but truly has become a problem in school settings, which should be safe havens. I do worry about copycats who see the notoriety that a person gets from something like this. There are a lot of sick and enraged people out there and it could have happened at any college. As far as timing goes, I have to wonder if the new admits to Virgina Tech all still opt to enroll there given commitments were not yet due. It isn't the college's fault, but it makes a mark on that setting. I can't even imagine how school will resume as usual there in the short term. This affects SO many people and I can't imagine them just studying for exams all of a sudden, etc. It is just an incredibly horrible unthinkable tragedy. While this one was really big, I fear that it really is not a single instance and there have been others and unfortunately more to come! One person can wreak havoc on so many lives. For someone intent on doing so, a gun enables them to take out many in a short period of time. Senseless. </p>

<p>It certainly puts a lot of other things people worry and fret about (like college admissions!) in perspective, doesn't it? It almost makes it hard to discuss another topic as if it was all that important when others are suffering anything like this of much greater magnitude. A lot of people today have had their worlds turned upside down. The stress of all parents at that school today had to be unbearable. It sounds like it has taken a while to identify the victims. So sad. </p>

<p>This is so very painful for all involved directly and indirectly. So much unbearable grief~!! This sort of thing is happening far too much. It is terrible no matter where it occurs but feels worse to me in a school setting. An enraged sick person plus a gun is a lethal combination. </p>

<p>I am so sorry for those lost, those injured, their families, their friends, those who witnessed it but lived, those involved, parents of all VT students who suffered from the unknown all day, college personnel who must deal with this, and just our whole country. I hope from such tragedies and such crimes, that various measures of change to keep students safe, can arise.</p>

<p>I do believe this tragedy is an eyeopener for colleges and universities across the country. There is no one to blame...only the shooter. Maybe colleges are now going to be more willing to put a campus on lockdown when a questionable event occus. How quickly do high schools clear out a building when a threat is persent now compared to pre Columbine? I understand the difficulty of putting such a large campus on lockdown...I attended a very large university and cannot imagine the manpower it would take. However, I do feel that the difficulty of a campus lockdown cannot compare to the emotional nightmare these security, campus personal and police officials are dealing with today. I am sure they are dealing with many gut wrenching "what ifs". We cannot live by the "what if's" in life. We must learn from lessons given us, keeping all involved in our thoughts and prayers. </p>

<p><em>each night I say a little prayer to keep my family, my children safe from harm....last night that prayer was a plea</em></p>

<p>I wanted to pass along a memo I received from a school nurse in New Jersey, I think it's really important...
I am feeling the need to express so please bear with me...
One cannot help but follow the tragedy at VA Tech. The media as always drowns the public with detail, what ifs, why not's, insinuating blame, personal carelessness and neglect. As always our hindsight is 20/20. We all know the right answers in hindsight.<br>
The bottom line is there are 26,000+ victims. Thirty three lost their lives, the victim list extends to each circle of family and friends increasing the victim numbers.
Our media needs psychological training in how to address this type of news. Focus must stop being on the murderer and focus on the victims. I just happen to catch the last 10 minutes of Oprah yesterday. At that time a father and son of a murdered daughter/sister from the Columbine tragedy spoke about how they travel the country addressing how focus must be on the victims. Every victim has a story, They portrayed my feelings as well as the focus of the mental health association. Discuss the loved ones lost. Speak of he gaps in the families of the grieving students and faculty. Survivors feelings need addressing. Larry King live last night did speak to some of the families. He had no clue about interviewing the bereaved. He said to the father and son of a hospitalized victim, Congratulations. Congratulations? what that your daughter/sister didn't die. On his behalf he was showing victims pictures. The smiles, the personalities of these lost sons, and daughters, teachers, husbands/dads, wives/mothers, were starting to be memorialized as they should. This morning on Good Morning America, a forensic psychologist was brilliant. This man blasted the media for memorializing the murderer. Parents were bluntly told, get your children away from the television, throw out newspapers that have pictures. I think he left Robin at a loss for words.
We, as nurses have the knowledge of what is best for the victims of tragedies. This includes when suicide happens at school. Don't memorialize the person. Offer support, hugs, acknowledge their pain, anger, guilt, fears, sadness let them tell their stories. Pain does not have a time table that empty hole within their body needs support.
We as nurses need to do whatever we can to address our faculty, students, and parents there is fall out everywhere. Old losses get stirred up. We also need to be aggressive in addressing the media to change their manner of reporting the news. Challenge them to interview sensitively. There is nothing to learn from repetitively showing and discussing the murderer.</p>

<p>lynnm, </p>

<pre><code>I could not agree more. These repeated reports about this wacko help no one and further tramatize all of us.
</code></pre>

<p>I find it so unbelievably sad that last week the news was filled with reporting on an unneccessary racial slur which lost a man his job (rightly or wrongly) but at least he didnt kill 33 people. NOW the media gets the right to plaster photographs of a murderer aiming a GUN at the camera - any idea what that might do to the children who witnessed that in their classroom on Monday?</p>

<p>SHAME on all of them for giving this murderer more press than he ever deserved! He deliberately did that to extend the horror and the grief of those he was planning to go and kill. He is laughing at them from HELL !</p>

<p>I would like to see a few jobs lost over this - it is a far sight worse than what that silly Imus did!</p>

<p>My answer to all of it is to turn off the t.v. I refuse to give the murderer or the newsmedia one once of my time or emotion. Far better to turn my attention toward encouraging the school that my D attends to form policies that will help prevent this kind of thing from happening or at least how to be prepared if it happens again.</p>

<p>You know, I clearly remember the day that JFK was shot( I was in grade school),and how time seemed to stand still for the next few days as the events unfolded before our eyes on TV. It was the day that changed the world for me as nothing was ever the same again- that "one brief, shining moment" was gone forever. Murder was brought right into our homes and it was only a short hop from that to coverage of Vietnam every night during the evening news. Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse, people invent video "games" that become more and more realistic so that killing is a "game" in which our children get points for being the "best" at it- then laser tag and paint ball, where does it end? It ends on school grounds and college campuses all over the country and once again, we watch it unfold on the evening news. We should all hug our children if they are home and call the ones that aren't and remind them that we love them and always will.</p>

<p>The morning of 9/11, my kid's school decided to let the kids watch the news coverage. Little did they know that one child's parent was a flight attendant of flight 11 and one of their teacher's husband was also on board. We turned off the t.v. and kept our kids from being over exposed to the horiffying coverage. My husband balked, but I held firm. Later, we learned that health professionals everywhere were advising people to turn off their t.v.s and stop watching the repeated images. I don't even watch the news any more. It's all a bunch of hype most of the time and at least with the newspaper you can pick and choose what you want to read about. What is to be gained from memorizing the face of the madman?</p>

<p>We do not live far from the Amish school in Lancaster Co. Pa...the day the man came into their schoolhouse and took the life of those amish girls will be in my memory forever. So many questions of why...just like now. Do we really want to know the why or how someone can take the lives of 32 people? I truly hope I will NEVER be able to understand why anyone could ever do this! I do not want to see his face. I do not want to hear he was bullied. I do not want to hear he went through a bad relationship! I absolutely do not want to hear how easy it is for a madman to go in and buy guns in the state of Virginia. I do not want to hear he had slipped through the cracks and why this should have never happened. Well, it did happen. And, once again, we are afraid. We worry more about our children's safety. Those children who we PROUDLY sent off to these schools to follow their dreams. We worry because the media has made this madman famous, and we fear that he is not the only one out there.....
How many can close their eyes and picture the face of the killer? Now, how many can close their eyes and picture the faces of the victims? Sad, isn't it?</p>

<p>There was an article in the Boston Globe about how damaging these repeated images can be. Between these images and the constant barrage of advertisements for what we all need to buy, buy, buy, it kind of makes you sick.</p>