<p>Well, I posted this in another thread, but when another poster dittoed the question, I figured that I might as well start a new thread, as it appears I'm not the only person with this question.</p>
<p>Does anyone out there know if there is any particular format for essays for a transfer application (primarily the "why do you want to attend [insert school here]?" personal statement) that is either recommended or advised against?</p>
<p>Currently, in my mind, a lot of the reasons I'd like to attend the school are seeing a lot of things that the school has to offer that my current university does not (smaller classes, professors that want to teach, etc). However, my concern is that a personal statement/essay on why I'd like to attend the school will not be looked upon as favorably if I do a side-by-side comparison of the two schools rather than merely saying "This is why I'd like to attend this school . . .", or vice versa. Does anyone out there have any comments, feedback, opinions, or suggestions on how to approach this?</p>
<p>(Just to clarify: I do have specific reasons for wanting to transfer. I'm only concerned about how to express these reasons most effectively or most appropriately, or how not to express them.)</p>
<p>Thanks in advance for the advice or suggestions!
-seth</p>
<p>i would imagine that the preferred format depends on the admissions officer that ends up reading your essay.</p>
<p>my advice, for all it's worth, is to make the reasons you're interested in the school clear above all else. you can touch on issues you had with your previous school, but keep your comments as professional as possible (i.e. choose something to the effect of "after two years of study in the field of <strong><em>, i found that my true interests lay elsewhere; i was far more intrigued by the study of _</em></strong><em>, a major that _</em>__ university does not offer." over something like "i hated the way the professors were unprofessional and displayed no interest in the success of their students, the way the students were immature and displayed no interest in their studies, etc.") if there's a possibility that your comments will shine a negative light on the school, faculty, or students, i'd think about how the person reading them would react if they had colleagues or children there.</p>
<p>the more negative the commentary, the more negative you might seem as a person - unwilling to change or unable to adapt to new environments, maybe? then again, if you want to portray an image of a student that is uncompromising, perhaps candid commentary is the best way to go.</p>
<p>just think about what your reasons are for transferring and try to express them as a reflection of your own interests, needs, and likes/dislikes rather than as a reflection of the school you're leaving. hope that helps?</p>
<p>Adding on to what ^ he said. I'd put on specific programs that you're interested in.</p>
<p>For example, I was really really impressed with University of Michigan's Collage concert, and I made it a point to say that, and that I was going to join their orchestra the first chance I got. Also, with specific programs like Ross, ect. Because I live rather close to AA, I could attend a few of their lectures and even did some student activities (I sneak in.. ;) ).</p>
<p>The only problem is the reasons I have for transferring are largely a qualitative comparison. Most of the reasons I'd like to transfer are centered around the fact that I currently attend a medium-sized to large (5000-10000) tech-based university, and am looking to transfer to a smaller LAC. As such, the college I'd like to transfer to actually, if anything, has less to offer in terms of programs. However, I'd like to transfer because, while the programs may not be any better, from what I have seen and heard, the way it is delivered is far better (profs actually want to teach, smaller classes, overall more respect for the profs and other students in the classes), and I feel that such an environment would be a better match for me.</p>
<p>Overall, would comparisons based on reasons such as these seem too, as social? described, "negative"?</p>
<p>Mine are sort of the same thing. Im an engineering major, and I actually want to transfer down about 20 rankings soley because i want a broader education (im at a tech school too). So my main reason is that I want a more open curriculum, and its pretty much my only reason haha. So, to make up for this, I included different programs and classes at the new university that I would want to do. This way, I had a solid academic reason, backed by individual things that would make my college experience better.
I did my first paragraph on what my school is missing, and again, I tried to stay away from the negatives. Then I did a paragraph on the academics of the new school, and then a paragraph on the misc. stuff (ECs, sports, greek life, ect).</p>
<p>Yeah, shoebox, I have the same sort of feeling. I'm at one of those "25 New Ivies", and would really like to transfer to a local LAC, one I hadn't even heard of until a good friend of mine attended it, and is really enjoying it. I don't really have a problem with the classes available at my current university (even though it does seem to dote a bit on the school of engineering, which I am not enrolled in), but I really am not comfortable with the teaching style here (I just sat through a chem lecture, a subject I really like and am considering majoring in, with people having a conversation throughout the whole lecture, for example, and this is not a one-time occurrence. Also, it doesn't help that the class, consisting of 120-140 students, is only split into two sessions - each with 60+ - for labs).</p>
<p>However, I had a feeling it probably wouldn't be the best of ideas to spend the whole essay saying "the school I'm at does X, while I much prefer what this school does for it", which is why I decided to start this thread. I think I'm starting to get an idea of a way to elaborate upon my reasons for transferring (I'd like to think that they are strong enough) without giving a negative impression. But, at least I have some time to figure this out.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I think I'm starting to get an idea of a way to elaborate upon my reasons for transferring (I'd like to think that they are strong enough) without giving a negative impression.
[/quote]
I think you have it, seth. The key is to focus on what you are seeking, not dissing your current place. It can be a comparison, but not a critique or lament.</p>
<p>socal? said it about as well as it can be said in post #3. It's all in the tone. The only way to be sure you've got it right, probably, is to have someone read it for tone. Many parents on the Parent Forum will do this. I would be glad to, as I have reviewed a lot of transfer essays.</p>
<p>So... "Having spent x semesters in a large university with most classes over 200 and largely taught by TA's, I took my first seminar size class this term. I found the interaction between prof and students so valuable that I realized I want an environment where virtually all of my classes will be this type." Although that is a crummy sentence, it focuses on what you want, makes clear that you can't get it at current school, but doesn't whine or criticize the school. Alternatively, "At my current school, the classes are huge, the profs don't care and I want to go somewhere where professors actually want to teach" is on the wrong track as to tone.</p>
<p>Thank you for the offer, jmmom- it also seems like a good idea to have someone who doesn't even know me read it (I was just going to ask my gf to read it over quickly, as she is the only person that I have really discussed this with in depth), but your suggestion is good.</p>
<p>Also, it's ironic that you mention that first sentence- those are two other reasons I would much rather transfer: large classes and, for lack of a better expression, "over-use" of the TAs in some situations. Unfortunately, I haven't even been fortunate enough to have any type of seminar class where any sort of interaction between the professor and the students exists. I have visited classes at the school I would like to transfer to, and was shocked by the relationship that existed between the professors and students- the profs seemed to know the name of everyone or nearly everyone in their classes.</p>
<p>Currently, the sort of plan I have is to go along the lines of "from personal experience, these are the main things that I feel make a quality institution . . ." and explain how the school I'd like to transfer to matches this description- hopefully, in doing so, I'll be able to avoid speaking "too negatively" about anything.</p>
<p>Again, thank you for all the suggestions and advice.</p>
With a little editing, this is just the right tone to strike in your essay, imho. You would use a better word than "shocked" (impressed?). You would describe, in a non-critical way, how the lack of seminar size classes at your current school disappoints you, etc.</p>
<p>Really? That's great to know- my current idea was kind of along those lines (although I was more aiming to look at it in the sense of optimism/hope on what the other school could offer than disappointment in what is not offered here).</p>
<p>And since you've suggested it would be good to mention, would it be better to focus on the quality of profs and what I've heard/seen of the student body or on the policies of the school regarding class size? (I was planning on focusing on the former more, while bringing the latter up in a few sentences or a paragraph, but that wouldn't be a difficult change to make.)</p>
<p>Just take a crack at it, seth. Good writing always involves editing and re-writing, so you don't have to figure it all out before your first draft. In that first draft, use all of your ideas - what you've heard/seen, what the school's policies are... Then see how it reads and how others (your reviewer(s)) react to it. You might keep both approaches or only one. </p>
<p>And, yes - more focus on optimism/wants and needs/expectations for the new school is exactly right. Bring in the disappointment of what you currently have only to help make the point of why you want to transfer.</p>