Hi, can you guys make some corrections in my essay.
And also, I have three C’s (calc 2, physics 1, and 1 credit hour math). Rest are all A’s and some B’s. So, do i still have a chance in transferring to computer engineering as a transfer. My GPA is above 3.4.
Here’s the essay.
A child has many lifelong dreams that he wants to pursue, whereas I had only one and that was to become an engineer. Living with my cousins showed me how fascinating technology is. As I became older my interest in technology grew even further. By age 14, I was fixing most of my household computers. During my high school years, I also enrolled in a hardware class at my local institute, which made me think about how technology works. During my senior year in Pakistan, the only American universities I knew of were UIC and UIUC.
Because of my cousins’ decision to attend UIUC, I became more passionate towards attending this school. So after my high school graduation, I and my family immigrated, but due to the lack of tuition fees, I decided to attend a community college, where I could get most of my general education and technical classes done. It was a wise decision, because as I just immigrated, so the small class size became a benefit, as sometimes I could not understand what professor was saying. So, the interaction became easier. During my freshmen year at College of Dupage, I was also actively participating in two organizations. As a non-native speaker, I tried as hard as I could to get all straight A’s and B’s, but there were some classes that I got a C in, as sometimes I could not follow the professor’s teaching pattern.
Other than my relatives’ recommendation to attend UIUC, I did some research of my own, as by visiting the campus and on the web, and I was inspired by its diversity, extracurricular life and mostly the academics, in my respected field and in general. So, transferring to University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign is a lifelong dream that I want to pursue, to not only to become an engineer, but also to excel and prosper in that particular field.