Transfer from BC? (Special Circumstances)

Colleges and Universities A-Z Boston College
1

<p>Disclaimer: I apologize in advance for my cruddy grammar/syntax/diction… I’m writing this without any thought and through tears basically…</p>

<p>First of all I would just like to say that BC did truly have a positive effect on me (at least first semester). I instantly made a large group of friends, became more involved than I ever was in high school, got better grades than I ever did in high school, and was more passionate/happy than ever. As cheesy as it sounds, first semester really helped me find myself. I applied to BC a Chemistry major (A&S) and began second semester a Human Development a(LSOE) and Psychology (A&S) double-major, also pursuing minors in Special Education and Hispanic Studies.</p>

<p>HOWEVER, this semester things have gone downhill. FAST. Academically, I’m happier than ever before, but psychologically, I’m a mess. If you were to tell any of my friends at BC right now that I’m considering transferring, they wouldn’t believe you. I sort of feel like I’m living a double life because I’m extremely involved on campus and have a lot of friends, love my schoolwork, etc. but I’m extremely under pressure and feel like **** on a daily basis. I feel like this school places so much emphasis on being perfect that it’s suffocating me. Again, nothing against BC… I’m just not compatible with the school. I’ve reverted back to the eating disorder I experienced in middle school, along with the addition of overexcercising and terrible self-esteem (I was very confident and outgoing in high school… don’t feel the same way anymore).</p>

<p>Anyway, I’ve talked to people in University Counseling and they have basically told me that it might be best for to transfer because BC seems to set off triggers for me to slip into depressive symptoms, feelings of low self worth, etc. As a side note, I AM diagnosed as bipolar and there is a family history of depression on my dad’s side.</p>

<p>Sorry for all that information (I know none of you probably care about my life), but I felt it was necessary to state. So I guess what I’m asking is:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>How difficult would it be to transfer into these schools from BC? Do I stand a chance? Or should I wait to transfer after my sophomore year? Quite honestly, I feel like I barely got into BC in the first place (29 ACT, 1990 SAT, yikes!). At BC, however, I received a 3.9 GPA last semester and I got an A in my honors chemistry class (I am in the departmental honors program.) The reasoning behind me choosing these schools in the first place is that I love Tufts’s Child Development program and the psychology programs at both schools.</p></li>
<li><p>What are your general perceptions/experiences of/relating to the student bodies at Wellesley and Tufts? The counselors at BC say that one of my triggers of anxiety and depression-related symptoms come from being surrounded by too many people unlike me (I am a Mexican-American woman from a middle class family in the Midwest). Something I’ve noticed about myself lately is that I tend to be very put off by people who are superficially nice but who are not sincere… I’ve become very paranoid this semester as some of my so-called friends have turned around and screwed me over. I’m not used to this because at the high school I went to, no one was superficially nice. People were either genuinely nice or mean… It made me a lot less paranoid and more willing to engage in conversation with people because I knew right away if they were an ally or an enemy. Sorry for the rant…</p></li>
<li><p>At this point, do you think transferring would help me at all? Or do you think I should take a gap year or something of that effect to give myself some time to chill out?</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Thank you in advance to anyone who answers</p>

2

<p>I don’t think anyone on cc can or should opine on what you should do. But if you decide to transfer, I don’t think Tufts or Wellesley will be filled with students ‘much like you’. Their students will generally hail from the NE, and be wealthy.</p>

<p>Tufts = 6% Hispanic
Wellesley = 9% Hispanic
Boston College = 9% Hispanic</p>

<p>OTOH, perhaps a LAC might be a better environment for someone who has been diagnosed bipolar. (I truly don’t know what type of counseling services that they might provide.) You should discuss LAC’s with your counselor.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

3

<p>Thank you, bluebayou… for answering and for your honesty. I completely agree with you saying no one on CC can or should really tell me what to do. And, after rereading my post just now, I do admit that I sounded very emotional/crazy/mentally unstable…</p>

<p>And to clarify (since I worded my original post kind of awkwardly)… it’s not that I’m looking for a school with people who look just like me or that I’m used to everyone looking just like me; I merely am used to everyone looking different from each other. I went to very diverse public schools my entire life.</p>

<p>Also, I don’t think percentages are a good measure of “diversity”… the statistics make it look like BC has a lot of Hispanic people, but most people I’ve met at BC who are Hispanic are usually white, wealthy, and attended a prep school anyway. I also feel like most of our Hispanics are international students (and therefore are wealthy to be coming to BC from Spain, South America, etc.)</p>

<p>So I guess to restate my question:</p>

<p>Does anyone know of any good, diverse schools on par or better than Boston College (preferably on the East Coast)? I’m very interested in a future working with children with the developmental disabilities and on research about families with children with disabilities (something I’m currently involved with at BC)… thus, I’m interested in fields such as child development, human development, sociology, anthropology, and psychology.</p>

4

<p>I’ve looked on the BC thread because my youngest D has been accepted and is deciding whether to attend. But my older D had diversity as a #1 criteria. Some I can think of are BU, Wellesley (as you mentioned, all female but diverse otherwise) and maybe Johns Hopkins. Others exist (maybe Wesleyan as an LAC) as well. I’m not sure how they all match up with what you are looking to study.</p>

5

<p>Even though I don’t really know which choice is best for you, I can tell that if your grades are as good as posted, you should be able to transfer to many schools. Just like the original college application process, it is usually advised that you apply to more than one school and include a safety. It is generally fairly easy to get around Boston with the public transportation so visiting schools could give you a good feel for what they are like - so that you end up at a place that is a good fit for you.</p>

<p>My son was very happy at BC as were most of his friends, but there was one individual who ended up unhappy for reasons unknown to me, transferred to another school and ended up in a place that was good for him.</p>

<p>One of my daughters attends USC and had the same experience. She and most of her friends are happy there, but one of the group was not and found something that was a better fit for her.</p>

<p>Not every school is right for every person as you have discovered, and it is not always possible to know in advance.</p>

<p>I hope that you continue to see a counselor to help you through the process and that you find a situation that works for you.</p>

6

<p>It must’ve taken a lot of courage for you to seek help through counseling services - remember you’re stronger than you think! I’m so sorry everything has gone downhill for you and hope that things do change.</p>

<p>ED-wise, do you think you can hold yourself more accountable to eating by making sure you have meals with your friends? Sometimes I think that can really help. On the flip side, I don’t know if you’ve experienced this but it can also be harder if the people you’re around are diet-obsessed. It’s sad that it can be normal and people get praised for eating <1000 a day and going to the plex multiple times :confused: I think it’s something ingrained in BC culture and can be hard to avoid</p>

<p>Other schools on the East coast…some of these are pretty different from BC but I think since they’re larger they might be more diverse? Northeastern, BU, NYU, Penn State, UConn, UNC,…Most schools similar to BC (like Villanova, Georgetown) probably have a lot of the same mindset/attitudes. Have you thought about schools in California, which might be a bit closer to home and also more diverse?
edit: Just kidding, you said midwest. Michigan, Madison? I’m not too familiar with schools around there - sorry!</p>

<p>Also, I know people who have taken a semester or even a year off and found it really helpful. Some people go back to the same school, some transfer.</p>

7

<p>My son is a junior at George Washington University and loves it. He has met people from all over the world and really enjoys the diversity. He was accepted to BC and it was a tough decision but he feels he made the right choice for him. There are so many great schools - it is a challenge to figure out which one will suit you best. Best of luck in your search.</p>

8

<p>To second what Rydert said about GW, I posted above about my older D wanting to go somewhere with a diverse studentbody and she is also in her junior year at GW (also from MA). She loves it as well and appreciates the diversity. Maybe a school to consider.</p>

9

<p>Kudos to you for seeking help and being brave enough to tackle your issues. That kind of strength will serve you well moving forward.</p>

<p>Have you considered Barnard College? Out of all the schools we visited, it impressed us as being the most nurturing and supportive of its students. It’s small, but with all the resources of Columbia, and it’s very diverse. Good luck to you, whatever you decide.</p>

10

<p>@superkt94 - I know that it feels like you are the only one who doesn’t like BC because it seems like all I ever hear here is how much people are IN LOVE WITH BC.</p>

<p>I am also a freshman at BC and recently started looking into transferring. I really enjoyed my first semester and never thought that I would want to transfer. But recently I have begun to hate the suffocating BC environment. I’m from the Midwest as well and though not diverse, where I’m from looks like a melting pot compared to BC. Everyone is white, wealthy and obsessed with image. On my visits and during my first semester, I thought it was so great how everyone was so welcoming and friendly. But I began to realize how tired I was of going to parties with my friends where everyone is too drunk to remember anyone’s name (or that they even met) the next day. My friends all border on being alcoholics. I’m sure there are some people who don’t fit this mold but from what I’ve experienced, everyone is rich enough and smart enough that on the weekends all they do is blackout every night. </p>

<p>The girls here are totally obsessed with going to the Plex and eating very little. You are so brave to go seek help. There are too many people here who gloss over eating disorders as if they don’t exist. Just a couple of days ago my friends were casually talking at lunch about how one of them had gone a summer eating nothing but an avocado for lunch with no breakfast, leading her to drop 20 pounds in a little over a month. Another of the three girls I was sitting with said she had done the same thing with apples. Inside, I was screaming that this was clearly not healthy and bordered on dangerous, but at BC it is perfectly normal. The atmosphere at BC has been absolutely toxic for me. </p>

<p>No one is unique here and that has been something that has been very hard for me to adjust to. In my classes, no one volunteers because they are too afraid of saying something wrong or contrary to popular opinion. I don’t know if this is the same at other schools but coming from a liberal high school, it is very strange to be in a classroom where the teacher’s thoughts are the only thing that matters. I am in the honors program and I cannot stand my teacher. She asks questions as if she were teaching with the Socratic method but there is only one response she is looking for. Only 2 of the 9 teachers I have had have been open to actual free-flowing discussion in class or office hours. I feel like I am not growing as a person because the classes lack all sense of debate.</p>

<p>While I entered school happy and confident, I now feel worse about myself than I ever have before in my life. It has been very difficult to transition from a loving and very supportive family back home to this homogenous and critical environment. I think BC Fashion Police sadly exemplifies the attitude of too many girls on campus. If it had not been for my club sports team, I would have considered transferring long ago. However, the other activities I was interested in have been a horrible learning experience. I was very involved in high school - class president, 3 sport athlete, service, etc. But here, everything requires an application and it is very hard to get involved in things you are interested in because so many people want to do the same thing. At the beginning of the year I wrote dozens of essays to apply for clubs and was rejected from all of them. It was a very difficult adjustment for me, but thankfully I had my teammates to make me feel that at least I was part of something.</p>

<p>I really want to find friends who like to go out occasionally and not black out but also sometimes just want to stay in and watch a movie. I have a close circle of friends and many other friends from many groups and grades but I feel hopeless about my future here. I feel like I’ve failed myself because I was so in love with BC when I first came here. Now when people ask me how school is going, I say I love it just so they won’t ask me anymore questions. </p>

<p>On one final note, if you are looking to apply here, I’m sorry if my negative opinion is not what you are looking to hear. There are many students who love it here and the transfer rate is very low. However, I went into college with the hope of finding out more about myself and discovering what I want in life because I never had a set life plan. BC makes me feel like I have completely lost any sense of myself and has diminished anything about me that was unique.</p>

11

<p>Wow mn,</p>

<p>First I’m very sorry things aren’t working out as you hoped. I hope they either get better or you find a better fit. Second, thank you for sharing. You described every issue my D is worried about in potentially picking BC. It was nice to get this perspective. You sound very thoughtful and mature and I have no doubt things will work out for you.</p>

12

<p>@mn20270603
I feel so sorry for you. My daughter and neighbor’s son are at BC and both are extremely happy there. Neither of them drink and from what they said, none of their friends behave the way you described your friends as behaving. My neighbor is a freshman and has different interests than my daughter, so they really don’t hang out together very much, but both of them enjoy their weekends; there is a lot to do at BC other than attend drinking parties.</p>

<p>Both are involved and active in various clubs and organizations; they never encountered any difficulties when applying; in fact my daughter felt very welcomed. Regarding classes: I’ve been told that my neighbor’s son has gotten much positive feedback from his teachers; one in particular has been very receptive to his ideas. My daughter likes most of her professors; a couple of them she didn’t care for but that didn’t seem to bother her too much and on the whole, she has received a lot of support and encouragement. She also has received several research opportunities from teachers in her department and is very excited about her prospects.</p>

<p>Happily neither have voiced concerns about any discrimination. At every college we visited someone would always bring up the topic of diversity during tours and information sessions; but honestly, it is not an issue for us here. </p>

<p>You said that you were rejected from all the clubs to which you applied; perhaps it was something in your attitude that turned people off; you obviously are very unhappy with your situation. It’s too late for you to transfer for September now but conceivably you could get a head start and begin preparations for next spring semester. Go to your advisor and explain how you feel; I’m sure that he/she will be very helpful.</p>

13

<p>@mn20270603 I completely relate to everything you’re saying.</p>

<p>THIS ESPECIALLY: “I really want to find friends who like to go out occasionally and not black out but also sometimes just want to stay in and watch a movie. I have a close circle of friends and many other friends from many groups and grades but I feel hopeless about my future here. I feel like I’ve failed myself because I was so in love with BC when I first came here. Now when people ask me how school is going, I say I love it just so they won’t ask me anymore questions.”</p>

<p>The only reason I would say I’m happy academically is because I’m in Lynch.</p>

14

<p>mn:</p>

<p>sorry things are not working out for you. Yes, BC is preppy in style and dress. Yes, there is a lot of drinking by students in certain majors (hint: generally not STEM). And yes, eating disorders is a problem with teenagers, starting in middle and HS.</p>

<p>However, if you stay, you should continue to search for things to get involved with. Not all clubs/activities require an application, or if they do, they accept all comers. The Student Admissions Program, for example. Also, look into PULSE next year.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

15

<p>superkt94 and mn20270603:
I am sorry to hear you’re having a difficult time. Feeling that BC isn’t a fit for someone does happen, as it does with freshman at all colleges.</p>

<p>Being a freshman means you’ll be going through your own unique adjustment at college. You’ll be hard pressed to find anyone who didn’t have their own unique adjustment concerns they had to over come. Since part of going off to college means learning about yourself, learning to fit in a new environment, how do you know life will be different at any new college that you transfer to?</p>

<p>Transferring to a different college is a big step. It’s frequently more difficult to make friends coming in as a sophomore because you’re “an outsider” seeking to meet people already in existing groups of friends. It’s definitely doable, but it will require work on your part.</p>

<p>All the best in whatever you choose to do.</p>

16

<p>I kinda think it is a shame when parents ■■■■■ these threads and give useless information. This student is talking from her heart and sounds very smart, honest and mature. You do not have the right to tell her it is her bad attitude. How do you know what your kid is doing every night, do they call you and give you a pathetic update. Yes BC, is filled with a lot of white, rich kids who drink and pass out on a regular basis but I’m sure there are all types as well but the majority are fake and superficial. I would encourage you to check out some smaller school or maybe schools like Cornell which have many various colleges as well as diverse students. I wish you both all the best and do appreciate your honesty. You could still make the deadlines for many schools. I believe many are mid-March. Best of luck. The student who is interested in Human Development etc, check out College of Human Ecology at Cornell. I think it would be a perfect fit for you…Good luck</p>

17

<br>

<br>

<p>Rubyjane1:
Can you help us understand this?</p>

18

<p>rubyjane1- I think it’s a shame when parents like you ■■■■■ these threads and negatively stereotype in a way that would never be tolerated had you been talking about anyone other than “white, rich kids.”</p>

19

<p>Honestly? While rubyjane was a little crass, there’s some truth in her statement. A large majority of BC is white, and does have money too. And a giant stereotype perpetuated here has to do with drinking a lot, hooking up, and often times passing out. There are people different from that at BC but MANY of the people here are like that. She couldn’t have said “rich black/asian/hispanic kids” because that isn’t the stereotype here…BC is filled with white kids.</p>

20

<p>With regard to stereotypes: Can we please stop categorizing people and lumping them all together according to race? Each person is unique; each person has an ethnicity; all ethnic groups are equally good (shock:even"whites"!). As a non-white lol, this “white kids/lack of diversity” jargon is so tiring and divisive. When I look around, I see people. Period.</p>

<p>Next, this “rich/wealthy” business. There is nothing wrong in being rich; it is not a crime. When people go to job interviews, do they say, “I don’t care what you pay me? Pay me as little as possible.” No, of course not. They want to get the highest salary they can. Likewise, I’m guessing that a majority of students go to college to increase their job prospects; meaning earning potential. Good thing that there are “rich full pay” parents because without them, colleges would be hard pressed to give financial aid to the less affluent.</p>

<p>Luckily, we are able to pay for all of our kids’ education but not one of my friends know this; nor do I know if any of them are full pay, half pay whatever. We keep our financial situation private; character, not income is what matters in friendship. I know people whose children attended elite, private high schools. I would have loved to have been able to; but we couldn’t because we had to save our money for college and couldn’t afford both. I do not begrudge them, hold it against them, hate them or make them feel guilty (sometimes I do get envious and then I have to slap myself).</p>

<p>Finally: Drinking. Alcohol consumption is not limited to BC, in fact it is not even considered a top party/drinking school. If drinking is a major concern, there are many websites which list the party schools, such as [Top</a> 100 College Party Schools of 2013 – NEW YORK, Feb. 4, 2013 /PRNewswire-iReach/ --](<a href=“http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/top-100-college-party-schools-of-2013-189667071.html]Top”>http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/top-100-college-party-schools-of-2013-189667071.html), Princeton Review, and so on.</p>