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<p>My point is that if it’s unacceptable to stereotype “black/asian/hispanic kids” - in any way - it should be equally unacceptable to stereotype “rich, white kids.” </p>
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<p>Amen to that.</p>
<p>Kelly37, right. Rubyjane1, aside from your personal critique, aren’t you more concerned about the gravity of the situation? There are inconsistencies in the OP’s posts which send out red flags: </p>
<p>The OP’s stats:" Quite honestly, I feel like I barely got into BC in the first place (29 ACT, 1990 SAT)". Not competitive for BC, yet she was offered honors?</p>
<p>640/Math SAT, 28 Math/ACT, yet 800 Math II? </p>
<p>OP: “I’m extremely under pressure and feel like **** on a daily basis. I feel like this school places so much emphasis on being perfect that it’s suffocating me.” This is her course load: Chem major then, Human Dev and Psych double-major w/ minors in Special Ed and Hispanic Studies: “1st sem: Hon Chem I, Hon Chem Lab I, Calculus I, Physics I w/calc, Physics I lab, 2 Ed classes/ 2nd sem: Hon Chem II, Hon Chem Lab II, Calculus II, Physics II w/calc, Physics II lab, Ed class, Writing” with a 3.9 GPA. Who is striving for perfection here? She puts demands on herself which she projects onto others. </p>
<p>BC didn’t cause her eating disorders and depression; she had them already “… slip into depressive symptoms, feelings of low self worth, etc. As a side note, I AM diagnosed as bipolar.” </p>
<p>Word choice: at her high school she felt “less paranoid… knew right away if they were an ally or an enemy.” Paranoid? Ally or enemy? These are her peers; not allies or enemies.</p>
<p>OP: “The counselors at BC say … anxiety and depression-related symptoms come from being surrounded by too many people unlike me (I am a Mexican-American woman from a middle class family in the Midwest).” What counselor would say this? </p>
<p>mn20270603; never posted before except now which conveniently backs up everything the OP is saying. The posts are strikingly similar…</p>
<p>Uses an international website to reach the largest possible audience to vent and disparage her friends, identifying herself in such detail she is easily recognizable. Why do this if not to hurt others and herself or as a desperate cry for attention?</p>
<p>I am troubled and contemplated informing college officials but felt it wasn’t my place. I don’t know what to believe; this is so bizarre. Rubyjane1, the BC parents posting here care deeply about the students and really do believe in service to others and helping one another. We are older with life experience (we have made many mistakes, been there done that and so on) that younger people don’t yet have. This is a forum where advice is sought and given, and where sometimes the answers are not what OPs want to hear. </p>
<p>So what to do?</p>
<p>collegecarla your post is strange for many reasons but I’ll just point this out: </p>
<p>“BC didn’t cause her eating disorders and depression; she had them already”</p>
<p>That’s not the point. She was saying that BC didn’t seem to be a good environment for her in this respect.</p>
<p>I have to agree with the last post, your post is absolutely ridiculous. This girl is just expressing why she is not happy at BC and you have to research and attack every word she states in her post making her look like an idiot and a fake. You really don’t care about this girl at all, you are only concerned with BC’s reputation on this site. I think BC is an excellent school for the right student but it obviously is not a great fit for this student. I did give earlier input and suggested she look at some smaller schools were she can get more attention and find an environment which is healthier for her personality type. I really don’t think her SAT scores need to be brought up or if she is truly an “honors” student. That is all so childish and unnecessary on your part. When you say, “what should we do” you sound so insincere. I think many students successfully transfer and do go on to find success and happiness. It is not that unusual…</p>
<p>Saint Saens, I know, I didn’t express myself very well I guess. But what worries me is that many of her problems seem to be internal rather than external; coming from within. Her depression and anxiety have to be fully addressed and dealt with professionally. Otherwise no matter where she transfers to, these feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, excessiveness, paranoia, and anger will keep coming back.</p>
<p>Rubyjane1: BC is irrelevant</p>
<p>I agree BC is irrelevant here. The OP would be feeling this way at numerous schools.</p>
<p>Rubyjane1: The fake and superficial characterizations that you make for the majority of BC students are so not true, they discredit your reply. And the drinking comments are not unique to BC. And they’re quite possibly worse at the college your daughter attends.</p>
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<p>To make themselves feel good about their own choices by belittling other colleges and students.</p>
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<p>Do you have a source for that, rj? Since this is a college blog, sourcing your (outrageous) facts would add credence to your pov. Of course, the absent of a data source… :rolleyes:</p>
<p>fwiw: Probably the most obnoxious post that I have ever read on cc. This is something that a 17-year-old might post, but a so-called parent? Seriously?</p>
<p>I don’t want to enter the fray with the parents on this board but would like to mention something to the student. I have recently heard some similar comments about BC from parents in my area. One student in particular had a difficult time settling in there his first two years. It wasn’t until he joined a club sport that he was able to really feel apart of things. In addition, he had some of the same problems joining up with clubs and really feeling that he was a part of the University. He is about to graduate and the parents were relatively happy with BC however they did point out that they felt the school was much bigger in retrospect than they would have liked. As a result, they are looking at smaller LACs for their two younger children.</p>
<p>I also have a family member (distant cousin’s son) that just graduated. He was a white American raised outside of the country. Initially he felt that it was hard to meet people and settle in as well. His commented that most of the boys he was meeting were part of the Jesuit School/East Coast brotherhood and they through sports and family most of them seemed to know each other or about each other. It took him awhile to break into that society having been raised outside of the U.S.</p>
<p>Also, going away to college far from home is very stressful. Some of the emotions and stress you are feeling are perfectly normal. Everything is new and you are learning a new system and working with new people on a twenty four hour schedule. I would be good to yourself and try not to let other students upset you. Lastly, I think you have to give BC a chance by meeting with your assigned Professor (sorry I can’t remember the proper term!) If you let them know how you are feeling about some of campus life and your experiences they may have good suggestions about how you could get the best our of the University. I certainly think they could steer you towards clubs and activities that you may be interested in. Best of luck to you!</p>
<p>I have no feelings about BC whatsoever, so anything I have to say has nothing to do with any attachment or bias towards the school.</p>
<p>Many people I know have many psychological issues from bipolar disease, chronic depression, panic attacks…everything in those psych books. The ones I am talking about are leading what seem to be ideal lives. They have managed to deal with these issues and still do what they wanted to do in life.</p>
<p>But one thing they all have in common is that despite moves and changes, the black cloud over the head follows and that is what has to be dealt with, and learning to discern whether it is causing the storm or if it’s truly the environment is not always easy. Sometimes impossible. Hate a job, the people, the work the environment, makes you sick and hurt, so you find another, and then, lo and behold, the same happens. And again, and again. Go back to school painfully, and then start another career, and the same symptoms hit. There is a point when one has to understand that it may not be the specific jobs, people and environment but the monkey on your back.</p>
<p>You’ve sought professional help and have thought about this quite a bit, so it might be a good idea to take a leave for a time period. Are there any programs where you can be a guest student elsewhere for a term and see if you like that environment better? Do you have financial constraints that may creep in the picture? Transfers have a much tougher time getting fin aid and there are very few merit awards for them. </p>
<p>A lot of my fellow classmates took breaks from my rigorous college, due to finding it near unbearable to stay there. Some did happily transfer, but most came back after a break and got their degrees at the same school. Hard to say where you fall in all of this. </p>
<p>Whatever you decide to do, I hope it works out well for you.</p>
<p>I would just like to say that it was a mistake “venting” on CC in the first place. I have requested for this thread to be deleted. Call me naive, but I never expected this thread to turn into a conversation bashing me. If anyone cares, I am not leaving BC. I have not filled out any transfer apps and don’t intend to. Since the inception of this thread, I have made a change in friend groups and truly feel it has been for the best. The people I now spend most of my time with are down-to-earth, kind, and understanding of me. As bcgirl2 mentioned, unfortunately BC stereotypes are true for the most part, so finding people like the ones I have been hanging out with lately is not easy. I don’t mean to put down BC, but it’s just what I’ve experienced. BC isn’t for everyone, but I do believe everyone can find their niche.</p>
<p>Bigdoglover, threetreasurs, Rydert, kelly37, familykCT, SaintSaens, and rubyjane1, thank you for your helpful comments. Kindness is a rare thing on CC nowadays.</p>
<p>collegecarla, you really hurt my feelings. I hope that makes you feel good about yourself as a parent. I never once blamed BC for anything; I simply said that the school’s environment PERSONALLY is not best for me. Plenty of people are genuinely happy at BC (even people who aren’t the stereotypical BC student). I don’t mean to discourage any prospective students from coming to BC, but as a BC senior said to me, “It takes a certain amount of strength to stay at BC if you don’t fit the mold.” I’ll end with that because I don’t want to start any further arguments, and I would appreciate if everyone stopped posting on this thread.</p>
<p>But for clarification, </p>
<p>1) I am NOT in the honors program at BC. I am in the DEPARTMENTAL honors program for chemistry. Only my chem classes are honors courses. I took A LOT of AP classes in high school, including AP Chem (which I got a 5 on), so please don’t make assumptions from my low SAT/ACT that I am not capable of honors-level work. </p>
<p>2) Yes, my word choice was not the best when I said “paranoid.” I admitted this in my “disclaimer” when I warned that my diction would be crappy. It’s just that in East Coast culture, a lot of people are very reserved in sharing their opinions and emotions, so it can very hard to decipher where you stand with a person. Two of my TRUE friends at BC (who happen to be white and upper middle class… so no it’s not just me with “issues” as posters have so rudely dismissed me) have voiced similar concerns, so please stop taking my words and twisting them around to make me sound like a crazy person.</p>
<p>3) I have mild BPD. I do not suffer from depression or paranoia. These three things are vastly different. I believe I said “I feel paranoid” and that I have slipped into “depressive thoughts,” not that I am clinically depressed or suffering from paranoia. It was a mistake mentioning that I have BPD on this board because there is such a stigma associated with the disorder that posters feel the need to bring it up every 5 seconds and make me feel like a crazy person.</p>
<p>edit:cptofthehouse, I understand where you’re coming from, but you have to understand that I have very mild BPD. I was completely happy throughout high school, I’m completely happy when I go home, I am completely happy with the new friends I hang out with now, etc. As other BC students like bcgirl2 and mn have mentioned, BC culture is sort of a difficult thing to explain and many of the stereotypes hold true, making it a difficult environment to be in for someone who has been raised in a nurturing, friendly, diverse environment her entire life. But thank you for your opinion and for being so polite.</p>
<p>I’ll add before this thread is deleted that it’s good to hear that you’re doing better.</p>
<p>superkt,</p>
<p>I think that you are an intelligent, ambitious, and compassionate person with much to contribute. I am sorry that I overreacted but I was really worried. I thought about my own past and what if one of my kids were in such a situation; what would I do? I tend to tackle problems head-on and go right for the core. In retrospect I realize that my direct approach in this case was too direct since you clarified that your depression isn’t an issue and is very mild. And people with depression are not crazy; many, many people have depression and it is not something to be ashamed of. So please forgive me.</p>
<p>Great to hear that you have found a new group of friends and are feeling better now. I am also happy that you plan to stay and give it another shot; you have a lot to offer. I can see you volunteering with the various children’s groups and schools at BC and making a difference in their lives. I also do a lot of volunteering with special needs children and young adults and know how valuable and needed such workers are.</p>
<p>I steer clear of stereotyping because I personally don’t see any point to it. I don’t like it when people stereotype me and honestly, it doesn’t make sense to lump people together in groups; people are individuals not categories. Each person is different.</p>
<p>Anyway, so happy things are looking up and my heartfelt apologies for overstepping.</p>
<p>@superkt I don’t know if this would be possible but I was wondering if you would like to meet up sometime for coffee and talk about how you turned things around. I sent in transfer applications but have not yet decided to transfer for sure. I really want to try to work things out at bc but nothing has been getting better.
Thanks for what you started here, it made me feel like I was not so alone in this process :)</p>
<p>@collegecarla Thank you for the apology and overall kind-hearted recent post. I truly appreciate it. </p>
<p>@mn20270603 That sounds great. I sent you a private message.</p>
<p>Superkt,</p>
<p>Thanks. Your passion and drive are gifts, so go girl. Go “light the world” and know you have people rooting for you. All the best.</p>
<p>So sorry to hear about your experience. My daughter is a freshman at BC and is in a very similar experience. Also, she is not pleased with her advisor. I want to express that I do not think your attitude has anything to do with your situation and am sorry that another’s comment was placing blame on you. I find that my daughter hides her feelings because of the pressure and I feel that there are a lot more students like you than you may think. I thought my daughter was happy too…she just didn’t express it to me right away. I’m guessing because she wasn’t ready to admit it to herself.</p>