<p>Hi,
I just graduated from community college. I was a Liberal Arts major, but I want to major in Biology next fall. </p>
<p>Could you guys read my (incomplete) essay, saying why I'm transferring and what my objectives are, and tell me if I'm on the right track? I've never considered writing a strong point.</p>
<p>Also, do I sound like a snob for what I say about community college?</p>
<p>Thanks!</p>
<p>"As a graduate of community college, I know that I will need at least a Bachelors degree to pursue a career that invorporates the life sciences, psychology, and public policy to address the issue of global malnutrition.
I am transferring because, although I wholly appreciate all that I have gained in learning and experience at Roxbury Community College, I am not yet satisfied with my education. During my time there, it seemed to me that all anyone could talk about was how many semesters they had left to go, or when they were transferring, or sometimes nothing at all: there was a definite feeling of disconnectedness from the classroom. "</p>
<p>Try to get your points across more quickly and tell them something about yourself, your strengths and specific interests. Don’t bother telling them about the shortcomings of a community college; they already know their limits…spend your time on positive statements; your newly developed interests, discovering science, your outstanding grades, newly developed confidence levels, etc. For example:</p>
<p>After successfully completing my Associates Degree at Roxbury Community College, I am looking forward to continuing my education at Northeastern University (or whatever school you are applying to) I’ve discovered that I enjoy life sciences and public policy and want to develop practical solutions for solving global malnutrition. With a 3.7 GPA, I am well prepared to take on higher level science, math and public planning courses. I am familiar with Dr. Roberta Stevens work in bringing fresh water to primitive colonies in Africa and am excited about her classes. The courses that you offer in the B.S. Science program will prepare me for both internships and a career where I can help solve health crises throughout the world. </p>
<p>Before you write your essay, write down four or five accomplishments that you are proud of. Create another list of possible careers and why they interest you. Add another list of schools and what they can offer (degrees, professors, courses) that show that you have taken the time to do your homework and really want to attend their school. For each school that you apply to, make sure you mention specifics about their program. I know this takes time and effort, but you’re application will stand out from all the others and who knows…they might just offer you a merit scholarship! I’ve seen this happen! </p>
<p>One last thing, don’t apologize for attending a community college; they have their purpose and many students have used these schools as a starting point, just like you! Good Luck! The Essay Lady</p>