<p>Hello to all. As you can see, I have been rejected from all of the schools I applied to. As a result I have sunk deeper into my depression. </p>
<p>Since entering Binghamton University, I have felt an increasing sense of sadness and worthlessness grow inside of me as the year went by. I've slowly withered away, becoming a shell of myself. I've watched as my grades suffered, my well-being neglected and my social life disappear. Each morning I wake up, I go to class playing a happy student while inside I'm crying and screaming to escape. I don't think I have truly smiled or experienced happiness in over a year. I'm slowly forgetting what happiness feels like. I have no motivation, no care, no nothing. Yet, what's frightening is while I should be concerned, I'm not. I stopped caring, feeling and giving a damn. I'm slowly losing this battle. I feel... empty. As if a raw hole has been carved out of me. Yet, the hole grows bigger and bigger each day I spend here and each day I live knowing I'll have to return to Binghamton University. The hole doesn't heal, it just grows and grows. As it does, it takes my hope, my feelings, my dreams, and ultimately my will. I on the verge of giving up... completely. </p>
<p>Transferring was my last candle to the end of that tunnel of hope. I wanted to do better for myself. I wanted to go to a school that would inspire me, motivate me, teach me and most of all... make me happy. Everyday I wake up to this pain of sadness, anger and hatred. But, that light was there to soothe some of it, saying that things will get better. Now, that light is gone. Therefore, I've come to a decision to stop all this. I've stopped caring. I've stopped feeling. I'm sick of it. And now I'll stop entirely. </p>
<p>Therefore, this will be my last post on College Confidential. While I didn't use this site a lot, I could tell that there were many wonderful, hopeful people out there. It pains me to say that tonight you'll be losing of the members of your community. Goodbye and thank you all.</p>
<p>Please please please do not give up hope.
As a person who has went through periods of depression, I know how it is so easy to get sucked into that downwards spiral- how everything goes wrong, how nothing matters anymore… Deep in my heart I wanted to become better. I wanted to be at a place where I can be happy and at a place where I feel worthy.
Thankfully, I had two good friends of mine whom I eventually confided in that helped to pull me through. Although things weren’t going well and although I missed a lot of opportunities I still have CHANCES. As long as I am alive, things can change… I strongly believe in that.
I have seen people on this thread who have been rejected not once, but three times by the same school. On her fourth try this year, she finally got in.
I am sad to see that you are so troubled. I do not know you personally so I do not know the full depth of your situation and I can’t give you any specific advice. I can only tell you to not lose sight of hope, and if you can, reach out to a friend. You don’t have to be alone in all this. Talk to someone. It’s hard, but you can turn things around!</p>
<p>:( this post makes me sad. I’m sorry you feel that way, but don’t give up hope. And this probably doesn’t mean much coming from a stranger on the Internet, but I hope you nver give up hope. Even though it doesn’t seem like it, you are in control of your life. You can withdraw from that school and spend a year working for money for college or traveling or getting some kind of cool experience. I really hope everything works out for you and just know whatever you decide to do will be good in the end.</p>
<p>Please dont give up hope.
There’s always a way out. I suffered a lot this year to as a freshman, and Im just like you.But there are always a lot of people who care about us and we care about. Dont let them down…</p>
<p>In a university with more than 10k people it’s not too difficult to make friends. You got to push yourself to actively talk to people. Most people might as well be as insecure as you are and waiting for other people to befriend them. This is the main source of your unhappiness, I doubt transferring would make a difference. However, if you find yourself lost or insist that the school is the problem, why not take a break from it and try again next year.</p>
<p>q,
Please do not give up hope and please, please talk to friends and family and get some professional help. You are depressed and likely need both medication, therapy and a lot of support to get you though this. If you need to, go back home for the summer or year, to a place where you can sit back and try to figure out what happened and how to reboot.</p>
<p>Getting a 3.5 while feeling the way you do is incredible, but grades are not worth your peace of mind and happiness. Believe me, I have dealt with this with friends and family, so many people in your life care about YOU, not your grades or the school you attend.</p>
<p>OP, it gets better. I was in your shoes last year. And now, I have a choice between staying at my school or going to Penn, and… frankly, I don’t know what to do right now. Just keep fighting the good fight and everything’ll fall into place. </p>
<p>Promise.</p>