It is about time for those students who are truly interested in transferring to begin sending out applications and playing the waiting game. I, a current transfer student, just wanted to share some perspective. I transferred from a top 10 liberal arts school to a top 10 university. The school I transferred from was my “dream school” for almost the entirety of high school. When I got there, my expectations were not met. I found it too rural, too small, and too cold. I felt isolated and had trouble making friends. I had gone to the same school for the 12 years prior, and, as such, was not use to being alone and not knowing anyone. The school I left is very small, tight-knit, and has a lot of pride (less than 6% transfer rate). I was embarrassed that I did not enjoy it and refused to tell anyone. My parents even called the dean to ask him to talk to me, but I always found an excuse not to go. I tried to make it work, I joined clubs, pledged a fraternity, and made straight A’s. Nothing seemed to turn it around. After Christmas Break, I had a form to speak with a school psychologist sitting on my desk for the entire semester, I was always too ashamed to fill it out. I couldn’t understand why everyone seemed so happy, while I was not. Newsflash: Everyone was not happy, this was in my head. In April, when I got into my current school, I did not tell anyone I was leaving because I was embarrassed and didn’t want to further isolate myself for my last month. Ultimately, I did not let anyone know I was not coming back until after the fall semester had started. I am happy at my new university. It is a fantastic school, close to home, and probably a better fit for me. Despite this, I really think I could have been happier if I had stayed at my old school. The one person I knew going into my freshman year was also “miserable,” for her first year and now she absolutely loves it. Please don’t think that I am complaining, I am just asking you to please really think about the decision to transfer. Especially if it is for social reasons, chances are a new campus will not change that. I’m just as introverted at my new school as I was at my old. Also, please please please, talk to someone about your problems. When I finally told people at my old school that I was not coming back, I got countless Facebook messages and texts from people, some who I barely knew, about how they experienced similar feelings and how they wished I had reached out to them. Obviously, this story is angled towards a specific student––one who despite being a good fit for the school, finds that his or her school is not meeting his or her expectations. I truly believe that in some cases one year is not enough time to judge a school. There is probably a reason you chose the school originally, if it truly was your dream school, don’t give up. Also, don’t be embarrassed about having trouble adjusting to your new life in college, everyone does. If one student reads this and decides to speak up, get help, and talk to someone, I will be happy. Feel free to message me if you have any questions or need any advice.
Appreciate the time you took the post it. It’s weird, I’m a freshman at my current school who is considering applications to other schools, and everything you said - the introspective analysis of why I want to transfer and what exactly it means to be “happy” at a school – has been circulating through my head, but it feel like it really hit me reading it all explained in one paragraph.
Everything you said; the shame/embarrassment of feeling off in a school where everybody’s flourishing despite hyper-involvement in clubs and excellent grades, I really connect with.
I’ll definitely get in touch with my school’s counseling services to explore myself further. thanks so much again for posting this, it really means something to me.