<p>I recently transferred from a BFA program in a very well respected art school to a large state university. I thought the new school would offer more social and academic opportunities and more diverse campus life. I have attended this school since the fall and it feels like I am living out Murphy’s Law. I knew transferring would be difficult but I did not know it would be this difficult. Among my misfortunes--
My boyfriend (of 6 months) broke up with me right before I left to come to the new school
The second day of orientation I came down with an ear infection….that came and went for 2 months.
My roommate verbally abused me, vandalized my property and wormed her way into my social circle, spreading rumors about me and alienating me. I was forced to move out.
I did what everyone else says to do-I joined clubs. I volunteer for a large non profit and work for the daily paper. Instead of meeting new people through these things, I just get boatloads of work(30 hours extra a week at a minimum) and unnecessary stress.
I went through sorority recruitment but was very dissatisfied with the final outcome(Thanks to some clerical error I ended up in the wrong group). I decided not to pledge and ended up dodging a bullet since Greek life on my campus has a pretty bad reputation for hazing and such. I think this was the only good thing that has happened to me.
I have met people through my major but I don’t sense any sort of connection or even rapport with them.
People at my new school are in general less open or friendly than those at my old school. Many of them only associate with people of the same ethnicity.
Since September I have also experienced two death in the family (great uncle and cousin)
My real friends from my old school live 400 miles away. I miss the times I had with them, staying in and watching movies or going out to parties. Back then I was a regular college student. I always had some one to grab lunch with or hang out with. I still talk to them and I plan on visiting them during spring break. After 1 and a half semesters I do not have any friends at my new school. I often feel every lonely and isolated.
I go to the counseling center and they tell me to wait it out and that what I’m experiencing is a “temporary maladjustment”. My old friends semi jokingly say I am cursed. Transferring back is out of the question. When I think I can only go up from here something happens and feel ten times worse.
I just don’t know what to do at this point.</p>
<p>hang in there :(</p>
<p>That’s transferring for you. Sometimes it works out really well, but everyone I have talked to so far from my transfer orientation or past transfers I have bumped into all say the same thing: “it’s hard, isn’t it?” I feel like it’s just one bump in the road after another. You do just have to hang in there and make the adjustment. I am moving to a completely different living environment next year (from 800 person coed dorm to 100 person all female house and a residential learning community). I didn’t make friends my first semester, but my second semester I started a club and that has worked out much better socially than joining a club ever has for me. Getting an internship helped, too. You just have to keep trying new things until something sticks.</p>
<p>Maybe your counselor is right and you are experiencing a “temporary maladjustment.” These things take time, and it seems as if most of your problems are from the social scene at your campus, not the classes and the program themselves. Your main reason to transfer was most probably because of the academics you wanted to pursue so make that your priority. Don’t make it an obligation to go out and meet people. Focus on your work first and then occasionally try to meet different people then the ones you have seen. Keep in touch with your old friends as much as possible and see if they can come and visit you. With them coming over and hanging out, you’ll be more comfortable walking around and checking out new places which could lead you to new friends, etc.</p>
<p>oh wow. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. 
If I was in your position I’d be out of the school by then and at home.
Are there any other clubs that are like “fun” clubs that you can join that you’re interested in? Those kind of clubs you can usually meet people who will just talk to you and not load you with work. I hope things pick up, I really do. :(</p>
<p>It must be hard to transfer to a large state university. It is easy to feel lost and lonely amongst such a large population. Transferring does have it’s difficulties. It’s not always easy to find your niche. You have some choices…stay at your current school and try and make the best of it, transfer to a small school where you might not feel as lost, take some time off and try and figure things out.</p>
<p>My son transferred to a small state school and found the transition hard at first but the size of the school and close knit community feeling helped a lot. He is an art major as well.</p>