Transfer to prep school?

Parents Forum
1

<p>My 14 y/o daughter is currently a freshman at a parochial high school and is doing extremely well with three honors courses. She doesn't feel challenged at her current school. She is seriously considering transferring to an all girl's prep school with an excellent reputation and academic curriculum. Many of the students attend top colleges.</p>

<p>I think she would do well at the new school, but there is the chance she may struggle in a much more difficult environment and I worry about this. She is a Hopkins CTY student, has good study habits and is pretty motivated to succeed. She is also a strong athlete, lettered in cross country and wants to play softball in college (she has played travel ball for several years). These sports are established at her current school, but in question at the prep school.</p>

<p>Has anyone been in a similar situation? Did the transfer hurt or help your child? What are everyone's thoughts on the role of athletics in making this decision?</p>

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<p>athelete is very competitive in prep school. Howvere, if she can manage her activities besides studies, prep school is an excellent choice.</p>

3

<p>If your daughter is a CTY student, has good study habits, and is strongly self-motivated, there is absolutely no good reason NOT to send her to the prep school! I am curious as to why you think she might struggle, given the above. Are you worried that her academic preparation to date has not sufficiently prepared her for the prep school? My D went from a mediocre public school to an excellent prep school in 9th, and while it took some work at first to stay on a level playing field, she was able to do so. It got easier after the first semester; however, she was all-A's in all-honors program even in first semester due to hard work. My feeling is it is better to have the more rigorous preparation in high school --- if you keep her at current school in order to avoid struggling, just imagine in 4 years --- she would be so much farther ahead at the prep school & much less struggling would happen in college.</p>

<p>As for the sports not being as established at prep school ... D's school intentionally puts academics before athletics, so loses top private school athletes to other area private schools. Yet some excellent athletes choose to attend her school simply BECAUSE it is best academically. Students have still received college scholarships --- and remember that DIII schools don't give athletic scholarships, so a strong academic record will get her scholarships there that she wouldn't get otherwise!</p>

4

<p>We considered this last year, and we ended up with our son in EPGY</a> Online High School, which is now accepting applications for its second graduating class. It is sufficiently challenging academically (he said with understatement), allows local sports participation, and includes a very interesting group of students from all over the world. If your daughter likes CTY (I presume you mean distance learning, but this would apply to someone who likes CTY summer programs also), she may like EPGY Online High School a lot. </p>

<p>Best wishes in coming up with a suitable plan for next year.</p>

5

<p>Go for it- you're already paying for a private school, why not spend your money on the best one available to you. With a better academic environment your daughter may not care as much about team athletics, she may find enough other activities with peers. The key is that SHE is interested, it sounds like she just needs parental support to leave the familiar environment for a new one. No matter how many extra online courese she takes she will not be able to share them with friends like she can at a more challenging school. BTW, my son did WCATY (gifted) summer classes, he would come home thinking his equally smart parents were not so after 3 weeks with an academic peer group- I wish he could have had a local peer group as talented.</p>

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<p>I would never choose online schooling over a good bricks and mortar school. Hard to evaluate the sports thing - most prep school are very strong in sports. My parents made me go to an all girls prep school and it was one of the best decisions they ever made for me. A kid who has thrived in CTY courses is unlikely to find any school too challenging.</p>

7

<p>Well, we don't have brick and mortar schools here like there are in some other places. (My son's math program is local, at the state university.) So then the trade-off becomes </p>

<p>a) local school of debatable quality </p>

<p>b) boarding school away from home (what the OP asked about) </p>

<p>or </p>

<p>c) intensive distance-learning program, </p>

<p>unless </p>

<p>d) moving out of state </p>

<p>is put on the list of choices. I did choice a) as a child, and my wife did choice b). I think choice c) is working well for our son--and we have considered choice d) also.</p>

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<p>the OP asked about a prep school, nothing said about boarding.</p>

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<p>Good point in post #8. In my local context, I toured all the famous name local independent high schools, and found that the academic programs there were such that my son would have been better off doing early college entrance (which some of our friends have decided to do with their kids). In other words, there didn't seem to be a lot of added value for the added cost (even after financial aid) for those schools. The answer to that question will of course vary from place to place.</p>

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<p>Yes, we are considering an all-girl's day school, not a boarding school, located about an hour drive away from where we live. The class size is about 50 girls. </p>

<p>The number of girls in the 2006 class who have received early acceptance is very impressive. The sports programs are not as strong (with such a small class with which to recruit athletes), but in softball, most agree that exposure to colleges happens during travel ball tournaments, not in high school ball. Again, sports are secondary for sure!! My daughter would love to play softball in college, but that wouldn't be the main reason she attended a particular school. My original point is that she would be leaving a very good sports program. I'd like to hear if anyone else faced a similar situation and how they dealt with it.</p>

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<p>Defintely don't base your decision on athletics. Just imagine if she gets injured and can't play her sport. You'll regret not taking advantage of a better academic environment. I have three girls now in a private all-girls prep school. Largest grade is 65 students. Class sizes less than 15. Wonderful experience. I will PM you.</p>

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<p>We looked at a number of private schools for DD1, and had her visit. See if you can get the real numbers not only on AP classes offered, but the passing rates and what number of 3, 4 and 5's are achieved. Actually look at the physical plant -see the science equipment for instance. Some are amazing, some have far less than even a so-so public school.
There are a few big issues to look at with private schools. I have been told that a very smart lower income kid MAY be better off in the honors track at public school because they are not jockeying for space at the same schools as the other kids in their grade, where everyone of the 50 kids may be applying to the same HYP type places.
Second issue - drugs. One of the schools my daughter looked at seemed to her to have much more open talk about drug use amongst the students than she found in her h.s.<br>
Third - can you afford college once you've paid for the private school? Big issue for us. She LOVED Oak Knoll of the Holy Spirit in Summit, NJ but we could not swing it even with partial scholarship.
Forth - sports. My daughter gave up sports after freshman year to concentrate on music. I am not sure she'd have gone on to be a musician if she'd gone to private school. The lack of a strong music program would have meant that all her playing was on her own, except for a Sat. program she attended. The frustration of trying to keep up her skills only via travel teams, feeling she is falling behind, might be an issue.
Getting on a college team, just like an EC in high school, can give a driven worker type kid a place to unwind physically, bond with others and all that.
I would even consider discussing this issue with a few softball coaches, in particular those whose traveling team girls have gone on to play in college and if you are ok with it, a few college coaches with great softball teams.
Also watch the new school's team this spring. My dd didn't even play softball til 8th and 9th grade - she was off playing our town version of little league-just about all boys by that age. If she likes competition she deserves to be able to keep up her skills and have team members on her level.
I may be dreaming since my DD1 went to a conservatory, not a regular college, but it I feel a bright hard working (good SAT/Grades/GPA) high level softball player is more of a standout than a bright hardworking student with higher SAT and a fancier prep school.
last - this is again just my own impression - ED admissions favor kids with money to pay cash. It also is a way for the college to be more assured that the student wants to attend. Some schools have harder ED requirements, but many are easier if ED. That's not what I'd use to judge.
My DD1 picked the honors track at public school, playing music, and doing karate. Her trackmates from public school are at Princeton, NYU, Amherst, Oberlin, Harvard, etc etc.</p>

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<p>re sports- kids can change their minds so much at her age; by the time she is a senior she may not be as interested in softball- she could pick up other sports interests. Also, if she is academically gifted she may not want to go to colleges offering her sport or she may be able to make the team at a good academic fit school with a less intense background. You have already chosen private over public schools- in this state the public schools are better than the parochial ones (I would argue this point with anyone who disagrees) and there typically aren't other private options. I wonder how excellent east coast public schools could be if all the private school money spent by parents was used for them...</p>

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<p>The other thing to consider is that she is just a freshman after one semester at the school & is handling 3 honors classes v. well. She may feel that it's unchallenging right now, but will it be that way next year? For eg maybe she will qualify and be able to handle all honors in the parochial school for soph. year. the challenge may certainly increase in her successive yrs. & it might not seem as easy.
However, if you really feel that the academics at the current school are lacking, then by all means check out the private schools around for a transfer.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the great posts. </p>

<p>Irishbird, I have thought about the difficulty increasing in successive years. That does concern me. But let me put it this way. Other than honors students, she says many students don't take home books. I don't want to stereotype anyone here, but in her freshman French class, the entire pace is brought down by three senior athletes by discipline problems and academics. A few introductory classes like Health and Geography have been disappointing to her.</p>

<p>The majority of the students at her current school go on to college. It is considered a very good school locally. A few do go to top schools, but not the numbers of which other private schools brag. That is not a bad thing, but when my daughter tells me she wants to attend the best college she can, I need to listen and consider alternative schools.</p>

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<p>Our son transferred from his public to a rigorous private day school his junior year.
While I would not recommend doing this during the all important junior year all in all it was a very wise decision. (Son # 2 will do it as a sophomore) His grades went from A/Bs in all honors classes at his public to B/Cs his junior year (2 APs, 3 regular level classes) at the prep/private.
Despite the grades, his study habits have greatly improved and he has become a phenomenal writer. This year as a senior, he is in 4 regular classes and one AP and getting all Bs. He has just been accepted to one of the top 20 LACs. They appreciate his drive to work harder and are willing to over look his junior grades as "transitional".</p>

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<p>OldInJersey makes some excellent points. My Jr. D’s in a small prep school that has been her academic home since pre-K. It’s got great academics, personal attention, wonderful college counseling. Those are the plusses. There are some issues on the other side of the ledger. She’s a music kid, somewhat alternative in attitude, dress, etc, an independent thinker. Her school is very sports-focused, very “preppy”, has what I would describe as materialistic values (labels, logos, brands), weak in the performing arts. She’s done extremely well academically and has a small circle of like-minded friends. But she sometimes feels under-challenged, mainly because of the interests of her peers and their engagement (or lack thereof) in the classroom, rather than anything lacking in the instruction, and often feels stifled by the culture of the school. </p>

<p>In hindsight, we might have explored the honors opportunities at our local public high school. Even though, as an urban school, it has more than its share of challenges, it also has a lot to offer the strong academic student, including a full IB program, many more APs, active and thriving performing arts, much more diversity of all kinds, and a larger community of students with similar attitudes and values. I’m not sure we would necessarily have made a different decision two years ago, but it would have been worth serious consideration. </p>

<p>I think you are right to be pondering this now; if you do make a switch she’ll have three years in a new school, which would be much better than switching for junior – or heaven forbid senior – year. There are pros and cons to any school choice, you just need to weigh the things that are the most important values/priorities for your child and your family. And keep in mind that the culture of the school is far more complex than just the strength of the academics.</p>

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<p>"I wonder how excellent east coast public schools could be if all the private school money spent by parents was used for them..."</p>

<p>How good can American towns be if all the high end folks live in McMansion developments? I can assure you, and I bet many others here who have looked at private schools can as well, that there are tons of so-so private schools where "kids don't bring home books", where kids with problems are dumped, even because the private school is -illegally-recruiting sports stars.
There is also around here a lot of ignorance about public schools and rumors flying for the 20 years I've dealt with the public schools. As I noted my DD2 and her grade went off to wonderful top LAC. there are people who put their kids in parochial schools - not the top end prep type - because it was "dangerous", poor quality, yada yada. Not one of them actually came to see the school. What they mean is that the schools are racially mixed and have a full range of economic backgrounds.</p>

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<p>My daughters have attended both parochial schools and independent schools. While I shouldn't say the differences are night and day, the differences are at least major:</p>

<p>(1) approach & content: The parochial schools targeted to the average, below average student unless the teacher was unusual. Certainly the curricula, which I had occasion to review thoroughly on the elem. level, noticeably addresed the average learner in terms of the skills expected to be learned. </p>

<p>(2) student body: with admissions a lot less selective, overall, than at the independents, there are fewer challenging peers for the capable student. Different students will react differently to this. My older one would become bored & depressed, while managing to excel in whatever way "allowed" by the school; the younger one would slack off, figuring out how to beat her closest competitor, & doing no more than that.</p>

<p>(3) quality of teachers: there were a handful of excellent ones; they were in the clear minority, & that perception was shared by everyone else we knew whose children attended similar schools. I do not attribute that entirely to salary differences, as some parochials try to remain competitive in that regard. I attribute that to the lack of imagination & challenge in the curriculum. A teacher myself, I do not choose to teach in such a school. The curriculum is often poorly designed, not age-appropriate, & not based on solid understanding of the advancing psychological & cognitive development of the child & adolescent.</p>

<p>(4) expectations in general, with a spillover effect on college admissions & the quality/orientation of the college counseling.</p>

<p>I found that once my daughters moved, the academic gaps in their parochial schools were rapidly filled by the independent schools. Good programs & better teachers will do this, not to mention better peer learners, as well. The lower half of their (newer) school has better college admissions results than the combined results of the senior class at the local parochials. </p>

<p>Qualifier to above: the Catholic schools which call themselves independent truly do operate that way, academically, are quite competitive for college admissions, have similar profiles & similar students. It's the ones that stay within diocesan restrictions, never seem to move forward, etc. that are noticeably different. I've also seen a decline in the last 6 yrs. among the latter, as the bar for the selective U.S. seems to get higher & higher. Previously the best parochial in the area would send 2-4 per year to Ivies or Stanford; that has not been true recently. This is what happens when it's more important to have an allegiance to a local authority than to look at the world around: the competition leaves you in the dust. I do not criticize the attention to values, & even a preference of that to academics. But then don't claim anything else; be honest that your mission is more about personal development/spiritual values & witness, than academics. (Just my little, or big, pet peeve.)</p>

<p>And as some other may have said, for one of my daughters, the better alternative would have been an excellent public school, for many reasons. She would have had the secular educational viewpoint with excellent peers & courses, but not with insane competition. For us it was not an option.</p>

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<p>missing word in my above post: " for the selective U.S. <em>colleges</em> "</p>