My guess is the parents have given one more chance to this student. I would love to hear their side of this story.
? You said that you’re not rich and can’t afford school w/o FA.
Did you explain to your parents that you would have to end your relationship with your school (transfer out) if you went elsewhere, and then apply to get back in? And very likely get WORSE aid when you transferred back?
If so, then they probably would let you stay…but if they’re upset about your grades, then hit the books!
The OP claims he got a 4.0 his first term. Family needs aid. Parents want him to attend a college and commute, but just spring term. He hasn’t withdrawn from school one, and he hasn’t applied for admission or aid to school two.
Story doesn’t add up.
This is a dangerous game you’re playing. Your parents want you to take a semester off and are willing to let you return to your current school after the break. While the school probably wouldn’t allow you to take classes at a cc during a break, they do allow students to take up to 2 semesters off and guarantee to [freeze tuition](Our Pledge | Office of the Registrar) at the current rate when they return. Trying to force your parents’ hand is just displaying the immaturity they’re hoping you’ll grow out of during the break.
It appears the [deadline to withdraw from Northern Arizona University](Spring 2016 Calendar | Office of the Registrar) is on February 1st, and it looks like the [housing and meal plan contract](https://nau.edu/uploadedFiles/Administrative/EMSA_Sites/Residence_Life/Apply_for_Housing/2015-2016%20Contract%20Terms%20-%20new%20students.pdf) does allow students to terminate their plans, but charges a cancellation fee if you miss deadlines. You think your mom is mad now? Wait until she finds out you didn’t bother to file the paperwork for the withdrawal. If you tell your parents you missed the deadline, they’ll look it up and find out it’s not true. If you tell them you forgot or didn’t have time to do it, you’re just proving their point that you’re not mature enough to be away on your own yet.
Even if your parents let you return to your current school for the spring, it doesn’t mean they’ll be willing to fill out the financial aid paperwork for the next 3 years. If they refuse, you’ll have to figure out how to handle paying for college on your own. So you may win the battle but lose the war. Instead of trying to manipulate them you should try having an honest conversation, listen to their concerns, and try to work out a compromise that works for all of you.
He is probably hoping if he ignores the problem it will go away. This would be a big mistake!
Apparently his parents found out about his partying at school during Xmas break (?) and want him to stay home for a semester. And he hopes that they will let him go back to old school if he doesn’t have any other options.
He figures if parents will forbid him to go back he will just go to CC at home and parents will pay for both schools?!
This is crazy!
Don’t ignore the problem, work out a compromise with your parents, regain their trust.
How do your parents know how much you’re partying??? Why are you telling them so much? As long as your grades are good, then I wouldn’t be sharing that info with them.
They found out through stalking my social media and also they called me once on a saturday night when I was plastered. So when I came home from winter break I just came clean with them, thinking they would understand because its college, but they didn’t and they were upset and I do agree with them I do need to slow my roll. I felt like when you go to college you should become closer with your parents and be able to confine in them since we’re all adults now, but I’m the baby of the family and the first one to go off to college and my parents still treat me like a child. Like when I was away at school I had to call my mom 3 times a day and tell them everywhere I was going and they got mad at me for spending the night at my friends’ dorms and stuff like that. And their excuse for those strict rules were that they missed me too much. And I figured since I had such good grades my partying wouldnt be that big of a problem, but although there were really proud of my grades they were worried about my maturity and they are afraid that I’m not ready to be on my own I guess. My parents are very confusing complicated people, and they go back on their word alot, but you never really know with them its always up in the air. So sorry to anyone I’m confusing it is a very complicated situation. Sometimes I wish that they would give me a chance to grow up. I long for the day when I am financially independent from them so I don’t really have to abide by their rules.
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Like when I was away at school I had to call my mom 3 times a day and tell them everywhere I was going and they got mad at me for spending the night at my friends’ dorms and stuff like that. A
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When parents over-react, it’s best to keep quiet about stuff. How do they know that you’re spending the night at a friends’ dorm unless YOU tell them? How do they know where you are unless you tell them?
Who the heck answers the phone when it’s the parents calling and you’re drunk? (not that you should be getting drunk!)
Calling mom 3 times a day? If that’s “required,” then do it early and get it out of the way. After that, tell them that you’re in the library studying and can’t talk.
Many of these problems you’ve caused yourself. You’re an adult now. You don’t need to share every personal detail.
I don’t tell them they have a gps on my phone haha it notifies them everytime i leave my dorm hall so I have to tell them where I go or else they will get mad if the gps tells them first!! And I have to call my mom before I go to class, when I get home from class, & before I go to bed. She knows where I go to & from because of the gps. I accidentally answered the phone when I was drunk because I was drunk…??! and when I miss my moms calls she goes insane and thinks the worst…
oh good heavens!! Leave your GPS phone in your dorm and secretly buy yourself a no contract phone for your use and your friends to contact you with.
You can still forward your GPS phone calls to the no-contract phone so that you don’t miss important calls.
You need to wean your parents. This sort of thing will not suddenly end when you graduate and have a job. This is extreme behavior.
@dwilson97, Please listen to what mom2collegekids has to say.
Get an inexpensive phone and do not tell your parents about it.
Quit sharing so much info. with your parents.
And, for Heaven’s sake, quit posting all your business to social media. Make a separate FB account to keep track of your friends and keep one to communicate with your parents.
If his parents are paying, they can set the rules. He shouldn’t be sneaking around. The parents should lighten up, but it’s their money, their kid. I’d not appreciate it if you were all telling my kids to cheat and lie to me.
Once a person is an adult, another adult, even if they’re paying, does not have the right to monitor their every minute. If that were true, then every SAHP or supported adult could be subject to the same with the argument of “my money, my rules”. That said, this is BS…even when it’s not “their money,” this mom will come up with other reasons why she should know about every move, “oh, I worry myself sick when I don’t know where you are…blah blah blah.”
If this were a minor child, that would be different. Calling 3 times per day, getting angry that he spends the night at a friend’s home, getting angry if the parents aren’t given a heads up before he leaves his dorm, using a GPS on his phone to monitor his every move, and getting upset if he doesn’t immediately answer the phone is abusive.
I stand by my suggestion…get a no contract phone, leave the GPS phone in your dorm when you go out, and have mom’s calls forwarded to the no-contract phone.
I agree that putting a gps app on a college student’s phone to track where they are every minute is controlling and abusive. Not revealing every detail to his parents, just because they want to know, isn’t lying. Adults have a right to privacy. Paying for tuition doesn’t buy the parents the right to monitor their child’s movements.
I just want to add…my kids would likely say that I was a strict parent when they were growing up. I didn’t let them go to violent movies or play violent video games. They will joke that they’re the only ones in their age group that know all the Cary Grant and Doris Day movies…ha ha. Of course, they saw movies that were contemporary, but not those that had disgusting gratuitous violence and gore and sex and nudity.
Younger son loved watching (gross to me) medical shows that showed detailed surgeries, but that was fine because if a young person isn’t grossed out by them, they won’t mess up their minds. Older son and I hid under the blankets while those aired.
I didn’t even let them see Titanic when it was released. They attended Catholic schools that were also quite protective, so they did have a somewhat sheltered life.
However, once they were in high school, the ties slowly loosened so that when they went to college it wasn’t a free for all crazy experience. Never in my wildest dreams would I think that their every move should be monitored or reported to me. I’m sure that my parents had no idea where I was 99% of the time that I was in college, and that’s the way it should be.
The OP’s parents are being ridiculous. Yes, the Op was wrong to get drunk, particularly so intoxicated that he/she couldn’t make a rational decision to NOT ANSWER THE phone when mom called. NEVER drink so much that you can’t make rational decisions…even if you know you won’t be driving. In fact, since sometimes you never know when you might NEED to drive, never drink to the point of intoxication. OP…keep that in mind.