<p>I know that route from mid-Pennsylavania up through Cortland, New York.</p>
<p>It's not difficult driving. </p>
<p>If you were talking about the New Jersey Turnpike (northern half) or the Connecticut Turnpike, I would be worried. But I-81 is pretty straightforward highway driving.</p>
<p>Also, at this time of year, winter weather problems are unlikely. Of course, they're unlikely in April, too. What happened last spring was freaky.</p>
<p>Public transportation can be far scarier. I had a hair raising experience as an 18 year old in a bus terminal when my line was changed to an "express" and big brother didn't know to pick me up 2 hours earlier than planned. It was like a scene out of a movie and I won't get into it but suffice to say, your daughter is probably better off in a car w/ just one other responsible kid than on a public bus with who knows who.</p>
<p>I would be worried too but then I still have my teen drivers call when they get somewhere and right before they leave.</p>
<p>Weenie- From another mother, let your son drive home, especially when he'll be home at a time he'll want to use the car. Also- easier to drive than depend on airlines in winter and your son is FROM the snowbelt, he should have some winter driving skills. AND- if husband thinks it's fine, trust his judgement in this (you don't need both of them spoiling your holiday with comments about not having a car to use...). We have had more problems with cancelled flights than driving- the weather channel gives good advice (I missed the Rose Bowl on tv years ago when we chose to beat a blizzard for a 500 mile trip plus detour to pick up the dog... I had even gotten permission from my inlaws to monopolize a tv to watch my alma mater). Driving offers flexibility- you can delay the trip home or leave sooner... He has driven the route before- he took the car from home, right? Yes, you'll worry, but there are cell phones and rest areas. </p>
<p>I suppose this isn't a good time for reassuring with this tale, but I can't resist. A few years ago HS son and a classmate were going for a math meet after school in a nearby town, the nature of things was that you had to provide your own transportation- to make the round trip twice.... The girl's mom (they were seniors) let her drive, fine with all of us, except that these "brilliant" math students, despite mapquest et al, had trouble finding the place (HS). Oh, and they were both CC runners who were used to going places. It all worked out in the end.</p>
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The girl's mom (they were seniors) let her drive, fine with all of us, except that these "brilliant" math students, despite mapquest et al, had trouble finding the place (HS).
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LOL. The Academic Team members were just the same. They'd print out the relevant Mapquest, but they never had a map in the car. One wrong turn and they'd have no idea where they were. Dopes.</p>
<p>If you have USAA auto insurance and have the towing coverage on any vehicle, they also apply it to ANY of your driver's and it applies to any car they are in. If you are a USAA family and have towing, make sure your student knows this. They even helped my D in a foreign country situation</p>
<p>GUess what, I see the entire topic differently than most posters. My feeling is that the Mom's heart counts, too, and right or wrong, she'll feel better if the kid is on public transpo for the very first trip home freshman year. Maybe in time, with more confidence, she'll grow into the idea that the college student can hop into someone else's car. But why does it have to be the first trip home? Take it in baby steps. JMO.
My D used greyhound busses for 4 years from Ohio to Buffalo, and I never had a moment of worry. Those busses are huge, the drivers are experienced. Cellphones accommodate any last-minute changes in scheduling so she's not waiting alone for pickup at a downtown bus stop.
She could sleep or read the entire journey, and not be concerned with helping the driver by keeping him awake. Often both are exhausted from all-night studying or packing to get themselves out of town. How can you assure a well-rested driver if it's someone else's kid? and on and on.
S took trains home often, and liked them better than busses because he could walk around more. The landscape view is much nicer out a train window than either a car or bus window.</p>
<p>Weenie, Lake effect snow, if your kid or any other is driving, is truly a problem. It's not being silly or overprotective to plan for it. I'm very experienced and last winter had to stop myself twice, coming and going, and stay in a motel just 90 minutes from home (Buffalo). The big problem is coming around that bend near Erie, PA and northward up to Jamestown, or Fredonia NY. So it's wise to emphasize to any driving kids that if it becomes a blinding blizzard, to pull over into a motel. Have the card or whatever available so they can decide this. Teach them to call 911 if the snow is so blinding they can't see the roads--I did, and 911 put me over to state police, who stayed on the line with me until I got right up to the motel sign. I could never have found a motel, let alone the edge of the road, by myself. Lake effect snow is very intense. </p>
<p>That said, we all have to let go eventually, but there's a lot going on for freshmen and maybe it's okay to take independence in stages regarding highway drives home.</p>
<p>Mileage may vary, and I see also good reasons to point out that cars are less troubled than planes during snowstorms. I've lived that too, we all have.</p>
<p>My thought is that if there are 3 people involved--a mom, a dad, a college student--maaaaybe the one who's most scared should have the veto power. Just like the one who's most bothered by dirty dishes should clean them up the most?</p>
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maaaaybe the one who's most scared should have the veto power
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or maybe there should be a family disussion around if this is a typical risk or crazy risk? (typical risk = drive a car on a highway ... crazy risk = go bungy jumping with an unlicensed company) I'm not a big fan of everyone else in a family having to work around someone's fear when they feel the fear but it is not a real life risk. What about the common case where one parent is afraid of the student flying and want the student to drive (bus or car) instead? Should the student drive, increase their risk of death by multiple of thousands, because a parent would feel safer if they drove even though they actually are now much less safe? </p>
<p>(In this actual case I do not know for sure but I'd guess the difference in actual risk is pretty minimal between a car and a bus as long as the driver has been driving at least a year ... and the cost of taking the bus is probably a major inconvenience)</p>
<p>I made a couple of Greyhound bus trips (7 hours) when I was 18 and will say that I was pretty nervous the whole time and couldn't wait to get off. There were a few creepy looking people on there (to my eighteen year old eye, prob. not now,lol) and I wouldn't have dared to go to sleep. I thought the ride would never end.</p>
<p>My S has been the driver/rider on many trips since going to college and has always been fine. Accidents can happen anywhere, anytime. If the girl(driver) is experienced driving the road then why would it make any difference if your D rides with her on this first trip home versus taking the bus this time and taking the ride with her at a later date? It will still be same girl, same car, same road. At least there's not likely to be snow this time of year! </p>
<p>I'm a worrywart too so I do understand but she will more than likely be fine and get home to you much quicker in the car and be a much happier camper when she gets there. </p>
<p>Just wait until they tell you they want to drive 12 hours to to the Florida Keys for Spring Break like mine did last year!</p>
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It will still be same girl, same car, same road.
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^^kid will be the same; Mom more mature and accustomed to all the comings and goings</p>
<p>I just got back from a 6 hour drive on Routes 81 and 78. My son has done the same drive six times now since we let him have his car at his college in Roanoke, VA. There are tons of trucks on route 81, but I still consider it a better drive then I-95 and very doable. My daughter always got rides (and paid for gas and helped drive) starting her freshman year at college and her trips were three times as long - SW Illinois to Eastern PA. I was on worry-mode most of the time she was in the car but it worked out well for all.</p>
<p>My tip for long distance drive is to get the maps from AAA. I got off route 78 for construction detours twice and was able to take a pleasant route through the country instead of joining the majority stuck on the highway.</p>
<p>I agree about the road maps. No amount of google mapping helps when you are on a highway and need to find an alternative route.</p>
<p>When I was in college (years ago), we had a "ride board," and I once got a ride home from a total stranger. It turned out that his vehicle was an old VW bus with no heat, with a max speed of about 40 mph. He refused to let anybody else drive, so he occasionally stopped to take a nap. Did I mention that this was winter break, and it was freezing cold? (Part of this trip was on 81, by the way.) An 8-hour trip took more like 12 hours. There were more bad things about this trip. But I don't think this means you shouldn't let your D take the ride--but you should feel entirely justified in asking some tough questions if you don't know the other girl. What's her driving record? What condition is the car in? Will there be any alcohol or drugs in the car? Will your daughter be expected to share the driving? If the answers to all these are good--I'd let my kid do it.</p>
<p>I took a ride off the ride board once, and as soon as we were off campus the driver lit up a joint. Being too young and stupid I stayed in the car and she puffed the whole way home. Yikes. :(</p>
<p>Weenie: I regularly get calls from my son, my husband, my daughter--all of whom have GPS in their cars!--asking me to google something for them while they're driving. Not only that, I've done it myself.</p>
<p>As for public transportation, depending on where that bus stops and for how long, getting a ride off the ride board might be safer. I remember taking a bus from Boston to Phila many years ago and ending up having to changes buses at the Port Authority in NYC at 2 AM. Stepping over sleeping drunks on your way to the bathroom... not fun.</p>
<p>Tia, I would also be nuts about allowing this, but I think I'd eventually give in. Good idea for your child to pay for the gas and remind her not to nap while the other girl is at the wheel. A six hour plus drive requires at least one stop to eat, use bathroom, stretch legs, etc. Insist that they make that stop. I'd try to convince them to stop every couple of hours, but I do like to push the issue too much, I know. :)</p>
<p>We regularly drive 4-6 hours (as a family), and I can guarantee you that with two girls in the car, there will be at least 2 bathroom stops! (My husband, on the other hand, is a camel - he can go forever without a bathroom run!)</p>
<p>3rd the suggestion of actual paper maps in the car. Just yesterday I was at the bottom of my driveway and a man stopped and asked how to get out of the area I lived in. He was from out of town driving his very expensive Mercedes with GPS. The GPS told him to go down my street. But what the GPS neglected was that my street is a dead end. He said well they must have recently closed off the road. I replied yeah 20 yrs ago. Mapquest also directs people down the same road. Always have a road map.
My son is going to come down on the train/bus combo. His travel companion is a female from another state who wants to visit a boyfriend at our local U. Her parents were reluctant for her to travel alone so she recruited my son to be her travel companion. She is making all the arrangements. Including buying his ticket and being reinbursed by us when they arrive. Her parents have also requested that she ask us for a ride to the campus and back to the train on Sunday.</p>
<p>Paper maps can be wrong too. I know of one street in a nearby town that does continue in the next block - but there's a 30 foot cliff in between the two pieces of street! Looks fine on the map.</p>
<p>Nice street instead of Dead End has a Down End ;)</p>
<p>I have a lot of respect for the worries a parent feels about a newly fledged little bird -- but I can also offer maybe a different perspective: When my D graduated from high school, 2 years ago, she deferred college for a year in order to travel. After working 5 months to earn her travelling money, she and a girlfriend took off for Europe. The first place they went was Morocco. Just the two of them. No tours, no reservations, no nothing. They spent a month there, using only god knows what kind of hired cars, jitneys, trucks, camels, ferries, trains, you name it. They got invited to stay in people's houses, they rode camels on the Sahara, they slept outside(!) in the crumbling castles in the sand that Jimmi Hendrix sang about. And of course I had no way to reach them. I would get an email every week or so, when they hit an internet cafe. They were gone 5 months, hiked across Spain, worked on a farm in France, stayed with strangers they connected with by email on a "hospitality club" website. Had a spectacular time. I chewed my fingernails to stubs, but didn't feel I had the right to interfere with a dream. </p>
<p>She went to Brown for a year, and has now taken another leave. </p>
<p>Now she and another girlfriend are biking across the country and giving puppet shows on the street for money, with puppets they made. In rural areas, they find roadside thickets to sleep in. In cities, they either stay with friends of friends, or find people ahead of time on some sort of couch-surfing website. At least she has a cellphone this time. Every time she calls, she's ecstatic. She headed down from Providence to Virginia (where she is today) and they are planning to ride to Austin by Christmas. </p>
<p>I worry. But I also believe that freedom to travel independently is a profound right that belongs to young people. And I believe that I have no right to curtail her activities because of my anxiety. But I know how hard each of those letting-go steps is.</p>