<p>I feel silly writing this, but I've lost another night of sleep worrying over D traveling coast to coast to and from college next year. She is reasonably well-traveled and has flown solo, but she'll need to take three planes and a shuttle from one terminal to another. In my waking hours these worries seem ridiculous, but in the middle of the night I wake and my mind runs through the various scenarios; missed flight, wrong gate, wrong terminal, kidnapped in the airport, kidnapped from the airport, accepts ride from airport to campus with a stranger (who of course turns out to be a serial killer!)</p>
<p>Any suggestions as to how to rid myself of this perpetual panic? I tried talking to H about it but he said, "oh, you mean when someone kidnaps her from the airport? Sure, I know that dream." So, he's no help!</p>
<p>Consider the fact that, as far as I know, there have never been any reports in the media about youth running into extraordinary trouble when flying solo.</p>
<p>In your mind, walk through your daughter's trip. Consider how simple it is to find one's way in the airport, go to the baggage claim and so forth. Also pause to think of what would happen if she encountered a difficulty, for example, if she missed a flight, etc.?</p>
<p>Remember that airports are full of airline employees ready to help, and who deal with this kind of thing all the time.</p>
<p>Aahhh? kill your daughter?
I didn't think we mothers were allowed to be rid of the perpetual panic? I thought that was just the way it is?</p>
<p>She will be fine.</p>
<p>Send her on a trial run trip alone. If she is going to accepted student days, that will make a good trial run, but I more had in mind a trip closer to home with only one plane change. This will not make YOU feel any better, but may make her feel more confident.
I'm getting OK with the trip, but I still have nightmares about flying - I do it a lot,but I hate it, and I REALLY hate it when my family is flying and I am not there with them.</p>
<p>My S flies across country to college this year. I pay the price to minimize my fear by paying a premium for him to fly non-stop. Not much choice in the schedule, but works for both of us. He spends less time traveling, I spend less time worrying.</p>
<p>OK, first of all if she misses a flight (and she might -- my daughter has and I was stranded in KY coming back when I took her to school) the airline will help her. They will either find her another flight or arrange for her to stay in a hotel overnight and book her flights in the morning. That's their job and they do it. One suggestion -- always fly with extra (clean) underwear in the backpack -- the airline will give a toothbrush but if there is something you would hate to be without if you were stranded -- pack it on the carry-on. My D has been traveling alone for years including before college. She is 19 and as seasoned as they come when it comes to flying. Little things can go wrong but I really wouldn't worry about kidnapping -- it's not the kind of thing you hear about. She's in more danger on the car ride to the airport than sitting around the airport. Have her wear her school shirt when she flys -- I'm not sure why but some of the flight attendants like to look out for student passengers. Also, I don't think my daughter has ever been on a flight without students from her school. Once, her TA was on her flight. Your D can probably go to the airport with other students, wait with them and will find that there are a few on her flight - at least the first one going out of her college town. I think when kids fly it is a stark reminder to parents of how little control they have -- this may just be a trigger for the anxiety you have about her leaving. Once she is there and you realize she's OK, this might worry you less.</p>
<p>First of all, be thankful she is not DRIVING four hours to school. That would be more dangerous.</p>
<p>Second of all, re kidnapping, I think they are in more danger of bodily harm when on campus, given the prevalance of the random hook-up scene and binge drinking. But that is another story. </p>
<p>Having a d who has done some travel while in college, we talked about where to go for help in an airport. She had already flown enough with us that she knew about gates, connections, etc. And we make use of the cell phone. She calls me when she arrives at each connection. On one trip she took overseas I was pretty worried about all the connections she would be making alone (by plane, train and bus) and it seemed to help both she and me feel better knowing she would be checking in this way. Feels like a big world out there!</p>
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**Any suggestions as to how to rid myself of this perpetual panic?
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<p>Student here: sign her up for an airline club and make sure she has a cell phone. The ability for you to be in contact will eventually make your dreams less scarry. Your daughter will be fine and so will you as time passes and once you realize that having contact is good problems will seem less insurmountable.</p>
<p>BBMom - Fear not! Agree w/ hazmat & would add, make sure she takes her recharger bcuz if things go wrong she'll need more battery... (experience speaking)! Also, she will probably be traveling w/ fellow students most of the time & they'll watch out for each other! I ask mine to call once he's checked in and each leg of the journey and have gradually learned to worry much less! GL!</p>
<p>So let me see...in past four years, my d., flying solo, has had to spend an extra 17 hours in the Detroit airport, snowed in for 37 hours in the Cincy airport, snowed out last week in Philadelphia (she took the train back to school the next day), just missed a train that ran into the Gujarat monsoon last year (237 dead), and spent several hours "exploring" the airport in Taipei, and flew into Siem Reap (calling it an airport is a stretch.) They learn to deal with it.</p>
<p>The first one was the single most important thing that happened in term of college in her high school years. She spent the time starting work on writing a choral piece that won several national and international competitions, and paved the way for multiple $100k-plus scholarship opportunities. I shudder to think what might have happened had the plane in Detroit not had mechanical problems.</p>
<p>She has been flying solo since age 13 (actually, age 6 - there was one non-stop Seattle to DC to visit grandma.) The worst thing was that once, when she was 14 and on the way to summer camp, one of the airlines required us to pay for one of those escorts, and the escort actually lost her when she proceeded to walk to the connecting plane by herself. (We got a $1,000 in vouchers from the airline.)</p>
<p>Just make sure she has a credit card with her (with HER name on it) in case she does get stuck someplace. (She can even use it for food in the airport if necessary.)</p>
<p>Kids learn how to travel really quickly. Pretty soon it's not so fun anymore.</p>
<p>BTW, remind her to carry on if possible (take my word for that...).</p>
<p>I'm tellin 'ya mini..............I have had some adventures but they never seem to matter once I have read yours. Great stories and it goes without saying that you have fully reaped the benefit of all of these things.</p>
<p>biggest reassurance i have when my daughter travels -- the cell phone!! how my mother survived worrying about me back in the olden days when you had to find a pay phone, i'll never know!
and an important thing to remember -- often even when you may not have a strong enough signal for a call, you can still send and receive text messages.</p>
<p>The best is texting to self....the flights/times of alternates and once you have a travel problem.....well having a personal secretary, ahem, I mean parent on the other end of the computer it is all good.</p>
<p>To make yourself feel better: make sure she has a credit card in her name if she needs to buy another ticket/pay for a hotel room; has a cell phone AND calling card to call you if need be; and has two forms of picture ID (driver's license and passport, maybe) that she keeps in separate places while traveling so if one is lost she still has the other. </p>
<p>THe anxiety will lessen as she has successes doing this. I also think having her go alone to the accepted student days is a good idea - if she isn't comfortable making the trip, maybe it's not the school for her. (Had first hand experience with this - wasn't against s. going far away, just knew it would be more convenient if he was within driving distance. First visit to the school was for accepted student days and he's been happy there since.)</p>
<p>ok, we've got the cell phone and she's adept at text messaging (450+ messages per month!), we NEVER check baggage (although w/college fall and summer, she may have to), and I think "aparent5" is on to something with the "random hookups and binge drinking"...puts it in perspective.</p>
<p>All that said, I must say that my nightmares don't hold a candle to mini's D's real-life adventures!</p>
<p>What did Rosanna-dana say? It's always something!</p>
<p>Two days after my son graduated from High School last year, he and two friends took off for a month of backpacking around Italy. I was concerned about missed flights, trains, buses, lost hostel reservations, food poisoning, etc. Well, most of those worries came through but they did just fine in spite of that fact. They actually started out by getting on an earlier flight then expected that went non-stop to Rome without a stop in Heathrow. As hard as it may be to believe, they really are bright and can read train schedules and departure boards at least as well as we can. I worried, it goes with the territority, but in hindsight there was no reason to. Just trust they will make good descisions. They will.</p>
<p>OK, divorced working parent here -- I've been putting my kids on flights alone since back in the day when they had to have identification tags pinned on their shirts to identify them. The kids are more adept than most of the adults. </p>
<p>A cell phone is a very, very big help. But sometimes reception can be bad, so make sure your kid also knows how to use a pay phone to make a collect call. I know this is silly, but with cell phones now becoming the norm, I'll bet there are teens who really have never had occasion to use a pay phone. </p>
<p>You should become familiar with flight tracking web sites -- there are many options to choose from, but basically you can track your kid's flight from departure to landing -- its comforting somehow to be able to go online and see a graphic of the plane in flight over Kansas, with altitude and air speed indicated. </p>
<p>My kids have flown without me internationally - my son to Bangkok at age 17, my daughter to Monterrey, Mexico (at age 12), and Moscow (at age 16). We have experienced lost luggage, cancelled flights, overbooked flights, and close calls to make connecting flights. Great stories to tell, but no lost kids. Actually, kids have somewhat of an advantage with the connecting-flight problem -- they can run faster. Also, my kids seem to be very good at talking their way into free first class upgrades. </p>
<p>When my daughter returned from Russia after a 4-month exchange at age 16, she managed to make a connecting flight at Chicago O'Hare on her own that required her to retrieve luggage, clear customs, recheck luggage, and travel from international to domestic terminal within about 45 minutes. After that, I figure she can handle just about anything.</p>
<p>Two purchases are essential whenever a child flies alone: a carpet runner and a good pair of walking shoes - for the parent. The parent can then pace for hours without wearing holes in the carpet. This worked well for me the first time my son flew alone.</p>
<p>Truly, though, you may want to make sure your daughter has some cash so she can hire a taxi if necessary (enough to get her from the airport to her college), and a credit/debit card to pay for a hotel room if flights are cancelled. Also, be sure she knows to contact airline personnel if she encounters flight problems. They can be quite helpful.</p>
<p>Actually, while I agree with the advice to have a credit card to cover emergencies, if a flight is cancelled then generally the airlines are responsible for arranging the hotel. Kids should know in general that if the airline messes up in some way (delays, cancellations, overbooking), they can expect to get SOMETHING of value back from the airline -- it might be a voucher, it might be a credit toward another flight -- but the point is that a kid should not walk away from the airport without first talking to the airline personnel and asking/insisting that they provide support and some sort of compensation. </p>
<p>Of course if the flight is missed because the kid shows up at the airport too late, that's another matter entirely: which is why the kid should have their own credit card to cover emergencies. But even then, all is not lost -- it is possible that the airline will put the student on a later flight. </p>
<p>Another tip: if at all possible, avoid booking the last flight of the day. If your child needs to make a connection, makes sure there is plenty of time between flights, especially if the connections are between different airlines. Be aware that if you have booked through the airline, then the airline is pretty good about helping out even if you miss a connection because of a delayed flights -- but if you make your own reservations through an online service, then the onus may be on the passenger if there has not been adequate time allowed between arriving & departing flights.</p>
<p>Also, you can go to the web site for all airports along the way and get terminal maps, so you know in advance where the terminals are - and, if your daughter needs to catch a plane leaving from a different terminal, what sort of transportation is used at that airport to get passengers from one terminal to another (walking? shuttle bus? monorail? etc.). In an abundance of caution you can print out maps for your kid, and while you are at it also print out the phone numbers for ground transportation options (taxi, shuttle, etc.) at the final destination. I find that my kids are rather disdainful of the pile of paper I produce this way, but it does make me feel like I've done my part.</p>
<p>We used the last visit to the schools as our trial runs. Even though I went along, S was in charge of all navigation, I just followed. I did let him him put us on a DC metro going in the wrong direction, but he realized it at the first stop, got us off and figured out how to get us on the right one. I felt much more comfortable after seeing him negotiate his way through airports and train stations. After one semester, he is a pro, but I would definitely make sure she has her own credit card and phone. We do have our kids call when they get to the departure gate so we know they made their flight. </p>
<p>We did have one incident of a ticket we bought with vouchers showing as unpaid when S tried to check-in at airport. He paid with his credit card and we were reimbursed by the airline later...in new vouchers! He handled the whole thing himself and told us about it after the fact. Older S missed a late night connection to Hawaii due to weather delays and the airlines told the passengers, sorry we are not responsible if weather causes the delay, next flight 9AM tomorrow. He very politely told them he was 18, travelling alone, unfamiliar with LA and very tired and hungry since his travels started 12 hrs ago and was there anything they could do for him. Somehow he talked himself into a free room and meal vouchers. Kids catch on really fast.</p>