<p>I'm curious to hear how folks with MT's in college have decided when/if to travel to watch your kids perform. </p>
<p>Of course we saw every show when D lived at home, but now we're pretty stretched with tuition and live halfway across the country from D's school. She'll be in Fall and Winter shows, plus she'll have A Cappella performances and various recitals, all of which we'd obviously love to see. But I also think it's important to let her launch, and experience the life of a performer without family seeing every show.</p>
<p>Did you see most of your MT's college shows? One per year? None? How did you decide?</p>
<p>What are other freshman parents planning to do in this regard?</p>
<p>Since we live on the west coast and D is on the east coast we have planned a trip in the fall and a trip in the spring to see her in more “major” shows. There were none freshman year (they were not eligible generally until soph. year) but we did 2 trips for shows last year and have a trip planned for this month to see “High Fidelity”. If she is cast again in the spring we will try hard to be there. She still seems to really want us to see her performances - and we love to be there! We have a lot of fun in addition to the shows - and the mainstage shows she has been in are usually about half way through the fall and spring semesters. Nice timing! Since we both work these trips cut down on making other recreational vacation trips - but the college years are passing by soooo fast - we can do other traveling in the future. It was definitely an “adjustment” to miss some performances - we also went to everything (at least once … actually I saw many of her shows multiple times -I admit it!) prior to the college years. So really 2 shows a year doesn’t seem like a lot. I think it depends on the kid and what feels right for a family. I am really excited to see her perform next week - and just to visit and spend some time together.</p>
<p>We live under 5 hours by car from D at college and will not go to all her performances. Last year we went to the first show in the fall when she was on the tech crew -calling lights and she probably talked more about this job than any previous performance. Then when she was cast in the spring her dad went to one show, but I had a work conflict. This year she has a major role in the show that closes the last day of the semester, so we will go to this since we would be picking her up anyway. But we will go to only one performance eventhough it is possible for us to drive the same day as a matinee and get home again.
I will say that from the time D was 13 or 14 her dad and I would each just do one performance of what ever she was doing (usually different performances so we did hit 2 shows) and if it was something we were not interested in, we did go at all, so she was used to us not being there. This did makes us the odd parents out in HS but not so much last year. Lots of the kids last yer had no parents at any performances.
My feeling is similar to your momcares in terms of launching her own career. College is her world and we share parts of it with her, love that she is doing what she loves, and being successful, but at the same time it is her life she is stepping into it.</p>
<p>I’m one of those crazy moms who would see every performance of every show that my S was in…on stage, in choir, etc. I even flew out of state to be there when he made All-nationals, all easterns, etc. We are so fortunate that S is only 1 hour away in NYC and we plan to be at everything he does…and he expects us to be. I think it all depends on your personal situation, what you can afford, and what your daughter wants. It would kill me not to see my S doing what he loves, but I know the day will come (God-willing) that he is cast in a professional gig and I will not be able to go to every show. Sigh. LOL! When S was in high school, his classmates even expected us to be at every show and every performance (and likely sitting in the front row)…I was surprised at how much the other kids appreciated our support. So far this year, there have been no performances for us to attend so I am getting a little antsy…we have to wait until spring! That’s ok…he is totally immersing himself in his new life, we get updates, and I’m sure the wait will be worth it! Good luck!</p>
<p>I should clarify my above post that I attended every performance while he was in high school…when I re-read my comment, I realized that I wasn’t very clear in my opening sentences.</p>
<p>See your child perform while you can! Someday he/she will be an understudy in a professional show, and you will have no idea when you will get to see him/her perform! Now you are in a position where you can actually make plans.</p>
<p>My D1 is a dance major not MT but similar in that she has performances. They went through a whole audition process and she made two numbers, she is a freshman. Now they have to go through an adjudication to see if any of those numbers will make the show or not. So hoping she makes the show in December. I have missed only one performance d/t a work requirement in the 16 years she has been dancing. I will be there if she is in the show and in any others. She is about 3 1/2 hours from home.</p>
<p>I’m glad you started this thread Momcares because I know in 2 years I will be wondering the same things. My D is a junior and so far I attend all her shows, in fact we joke that when she’s lucky enough to get a professional show that I won’t be able to come to all of her shows. Like you lesmizmom-my D’s friends expect me to be there and now that some are in college the ones that are close enough ask me to come to their performances all the time. Depending on where my D gets in at will depend on if we get to go very often. I am lucky to be within 5 hours of many of the schools that she is looking at so only time will tell.</p>
<p>We have always gone to every show that we could as our D was growing up- community theater, high school, regional, choir, dance team, whatever…Now she is on the east coast and we are on the west coast. Financially, it is a stretch for us to see her-2 others just finished college, and one is starting soon- so we have not been able to see most shows. I did go back to see her as one on the leads in Rent last spring, but my husband stayed. So far no trips this year, but we will see as the year goes along. It really kills me not to be able to go see her, but we knew this would be the case going in. I know she would love us to be there but she loves her program and knows that we will be there when we can.</p>
<p>I am probably the most crazy stalker fan mom out there. When my D did study abroad in Australia, and got into a musical there, I flew and saw it. It was a very cool opportunity- it was a world premiere work of an Australian playwrite, adapted from poems she wrote when she was young. And the cast was all Australian except for my kid. It was presented when a book of those poems was published, and the family of the author was there. </p>
<p>I also flew across the country to see her in shows every year she was in school. Yes, I am a crazed fan. But now she has graduated and is back home and no more cross country travel for me. At least not now.</p>
<p>Like takeitallin I am on the west coast and D is at school on the east coast. I have not gone back to see her in anything yet. I may go to see her in the spring if she is cast in the musical as I may be taking my younger D to NYC to look at schools. </p>
<p>We saw D in everything when she was here at home, but now it is just not feasible cost wise to fly coast to coast every time she performs. I do miss seeing her onstage, but she has been recording songs for me so I get to hear her sing on my ipod.</p>
<p>I’m also watching this thread with interest as I expect to be going through the same thing next year. My D is pretty much only considering schools a plane ride away! </p>
<p>I’ve not only seen every show my kid’s in, I’m usually stage managing or working props, and my husband is usually stage crew or A2. We have never missed a single performance, except for right now that she’s doing a professional show and we’re not involved in the crew, we only have tix to 2 of the performances. I</p>
<p>KNOW that when she’s in college we won’t be able to see every show but I will be budgeting to come to at least one performance any show where she’s cast as a lead. </p>
<p>I think she’s going to be very glad to be out on her own and away from the family. Because my son also did theatre when he was in school and because with youth and community theatre they always needed volunteers, it sort of became part of our family identity and she’s feeling the need to break away and be on her own. I completely support that and I’m excited for her but it’s going to be very hard!!</p>
<p>We have made at least one trip back each year. Freshman year was for freshman showcase, just my sister and I went in for that. Sophomore year the whole family went to see our daughter in her first musical at Michigan in the fall and then my sister and I went again in February to see her in the play. We did have to miss two other productions she was in during the year and it nearly killed me to miss those!</p>
<p>This year we all flying in again, plus some other extended family as well to see her in the musical she has the lead in. Wouldn’t miss it for all the world!</p>
<p>The expense of flying in is definately a financial strain, but worth every penny. She would love if we could come more often than we do. As she has gotten older she recognizes how special it is to have such great family support.</p>
<p>We live very close to D’s college–commuting distance. When she has been in shows she has always asked us “What show should I buy tickets for?” Therefore, I took her lead and have only gone to one performance of each show. In high school I always attended every performance. Luckily I have not had to face the dilemma of whether to attend at all due to expenses/ distance.</p>
<p>I did feel somewhat gulity because my H and I were unable to attend her “cabaret” debut in NYC. (In a nightclub on a Tuesday night.) She sang 2 songs–which she has put up on you tube. I just couldn’t make it into NYC that night–was helping younger D with college apps and H was out of town on business. Oh well! Hopefully she won’t remind me that I only have a 99% attendance record someday.</p>
<p>MomCares, thank you for starting this thread. It’s killing me that I can’t go to see my son perform. We too live on the east coast, and he goes to school in Texas. His dad and I have attended every show he has been cast in since he was 10, as well as all of the dance recitals, concert and jazz band performances, regional chorus, male chorus, mixed chorus, aCappella and Schola Cantorum concerts and various competitions. But since we can’t afford the travel to see all of his college performances, our plan right now is to try to make it to one show each year. I honestly feel that is enough. Even if we COULD afford to see all of his shows, as much as it would kill me, we wouldn’t go to them all. Like you, we feel this is his time to launch and be independent. Although I have to admit to being quite thankful that I was able to see a video on FB of his first college performance (I know it’s illegal to tape them, but I enjoyed seeing it nonetheless).</p>
<p>I am another one of those moms that went to every single performance my S ever did.
He is a freshman at a school 5 hours away , but luckily for us the mainstage musical opening night is the weekend of parent weekend so we will be there for opening night and again on Saturday night… not doing Saturday matinee or Sunday matinee… and my DH asked " why not?"
I am 100% certain that when he is cast in his next show I will be there.
As classicalbk said already… see them while you can! one day he will be cast in a professional show or as an understudy and I may not be able to be there.</p>
<p>I am considering flying from Hawaii to Colorado for my daughter’s first college show. We have been to see all of her shows here on the Islands. When she went to the OCU summer program I could not go to see the show or the cabaret - that was difficult. As a freshman I get the impression that she is doing well but she said that she would be quite happy to for me to come and see her show (she just said that she hopes her performance is worth the travel!) While I hope that there will be many opportunities to see her in college shows - you just never know! So I am going to try to take advantage of this opportunity.</p>
<p>Hm…maybe I’m the bad parent here. Or just the broke parent? My D is a soph MT major halfway across the country and we have not seen any live performances of hers since she started college. She did snag a bootleg copy of one of her shows last year so it was fun to watch it when she visited us - complete with a live commentary!</p>
<p>Funny thing is - she is going to be performing in Russia this spring and her cousin, who is doing study abroad in St. Petersburg, will get to see her perform!</p>
<p>We explained to our D before she even started to look at colleges that we would be hard pressed to even visit once a year. But she is very confident, independent and really isn’t bothered by us not coming to performances. S2 is now starting the college search (potential Voice major) and we’ve given him the same warning.</p>
<p>Thanks to all for sharing your experiences and/or plans!</p>
<p>First off, I’m glad to hear that I wasn’t the only crazy person who saw most of their high school kids’ performances! Like some others here, we have had “virtually reserved” seats in the high school auditorium where all of the performers expected to see us year after year. This weekend we’ll be in them again, watching our first show without D in it. </p>
<p>We’re visiting D soon for Family Weekend, but tickets to her A Cappella performance that weekend were sold out before she even auditioned for the group, plus it’s the week before her first play, so we won’t see her perform that weekend. I don’t see us making another trip to her school this year, and though her A Cappella group is scheduled to perform in the Middle East this spring I don’t see us able to swing that trip either. </p>
<p>Ah, well. Maybe she’ll decide it’s no fun performing unless her adoring fans are in the audience, and will decide to become a lawyer instead? ;-D</p>
<p>Well I feel so blessed after reading this post. My D luckily got in and chose a school right in our hometown. We never thought she would end up here. I now feel blessed that I will get to see every performance as will her family and friends. I too saw every performance of every show in high school. My husband used to tease me about it. I wouldn’t give it up for anything. Try and see her performances if at all possible.</p>
Good luck!</p>