Is a culture of “trophies for everyone” leading to a rise in narcissism?
Do (some) schools “emphasize developing pupils’ emotional and social wellbeing more than the attainment of high standards”?
Is the focus on self-esteem all a “con”, based on misrepresenting a study by the University of California?
I don’t think trophies for all helps in the long run. I also don’t think that “losing” or being less than perfect is failure.
Academically I do think schools need to teach to both ends of the spectrum. I also think it’s okay to acknowledge other strengths beyond grades and test scores.
I think the uproar over “trophies for everyone” is over-exaggerated.
I certainly think my own kids were held to much higher standards that I was in school. If there is a rise in narcissism I would look at our “culture of celebrity” and social media.
I don’t want to debate the recognition factor but, as someone who is trying to downsize in anticipation of a move next year, I am strongly in favor of switching to ribbons & certificates when merited. So much junk going into our landfills and the young adults don’t want those trophies when they leave the nest.
For a different perspective neither of my kids ever won an actual trophy. They didn’t like sports at all. They were into theater through middle and high school and dance for their organized physical activity from pre-k through middle school and neither of those activities are about trophies, but both are fantastic team building activities. My kids are more collaborative souls rather than competitive. I think as a society we’d all be better off if we were more collaborative and cooperative lifting each other up to the greater good rather than cut throat and competitive and cutting each other down.
I’ve seen stories in the news where some places take those unwanted trophies and revamp them for future use. These aren’t recent stories, but if I were thinking of tossing any into the trash I’d google to see if they could be donated somewhere first.
Otherwise, I don’t think it’s nearly as much of a trophies for everyone thing as other media stuff (influencers, etc) that are having an impact on kids who have nothing else to do but be on various social media platforms. Lots of kids scoff at the trophies even when they get them.
BTDT with coaching youngster soccer for many moons and handing out said trophies at the end of each session.
My D got a trophy for being in dance 5 years. 
I am not sure it leads to narcissism, but I do believe it leads to the mindset that “if I try hard I should win” belief.
I could work my a$$ off and would never win a theater/musical competition. I was a good student, but I was surrounded by good/great students, so I wasn’t in the running for Val, Sal or other achievements. Not everyone can be the best, and I think we are doing a disservice to our kids if we tell them otherwise.
I never looked at those many soccer trophies as a win/loss thing… just a celebration of a fun season together. Usually the parents contributed to the cost, but I think one year the coach bought them - yikes, a lot of money on top of his wonderful volunteer work…
Yea, ribbons would have been better. Gotta find a place to donate all those trophies someday.
At our local creative reuse center they have giant bins full of those trophies 
A neighbor (principal at an elementary school) took a whole lot of my kid’s trophies collected over the years (sans name plates).
At her end of year staff thank you luncheon, she re-purposed the soccer, baseball, gymnastics, softball, basketball, golf, softball and diving trophies—“you really kicked it this year”; “you dove right in…” you hit it out of the park" " you bounced back quickly"…etc. you get the picture. I thought she was pretty creative—and I was thrilled to unload that stash.
My kids did a summer swim league that gave out participant ribbons after the top 5 places, sometimes there were 30+ kids in an event, so lots of participants. Those 4-5-6 year olds liked them, but as the kids got older they seemed to disdain that ribbon.
We didn’t see any participation trophies here. It’s a very competitive sports culture here, probably too much so. The kids were never happy with that 2nd or 3rd place tournament trophy and there’d be lots of tears and sulking. When we downsized, we tossed all but a few special trophies, but kept all the medals and ribbons. I agree they should get rid of trophies entirely for environmental reasons.
Not hardly. Self Esteem is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children. I can’t believe the author even presented that idea as having merit - that parents should raise their children to have no self esteem? One of my goals is to raise young adults who feel they are capable of almost anything as long as they put forth the effort.
Maybe some groups go about self-esteem building in an inefficient manner, but the goal is commendable.
OTOH, Grade inflation should be addressed in some manner. But I think grade inflation is a separate topic from building self-esteem through youth activities.
Well said! My kids never got participation trophies in any activities they were in. Then again, neither kid did a ton of activities either. They might have gotten a t-shirt for taking part…
We never enrolled our kids in sports with thought about winning. It was all about exercise and the team experience. Our older kid was only girl on her kindergarten micro-soccer team…. had great fun despite the fact they never won a game. In many ways that season was much more meaningful than some other years on powerhouse teams, easy wins. The trophies were not about winning, just a way to celebrate end of a fun season together. When there was a party too, all the better.
In my opinion, if you want to understand the rise in narcissism (if there is one) look to social media. There is a reason I refer to a selfie stick as the wand of narcissus.
I think self-esteem is important for children, but I don’t think it is achieved by parents constantly praising them or telling them how exceptional they are or by handing out participation trophies. I don’t even think it is achieved by winning an actual trophy. I believe self-esteem is achieved when a child is given age- appropriate responsibilities and he succeeds in fulfilling them.
Participation trophies can be stupid without being a cause of narcissism. An item received for participation can be nice if it’s useful - my daughter used to get t-shirts, gym bags, and the like from gymnastics meets, and they were nice to have both to remember the occasion and because they actually got used. Nobody confused these items with having won anything. And in reality, no kid over the age of four or five confuses a participation trophy with having won anything, either, so I don’t see why they would make anybody narcissistic; they’re just a congnitively-dissonant concept that produces useless clutter.
I feel as if certain elements in public discourse have seized upon “participation trophies” as a talking point, and honestly it feels like empty rhetoric to me. There are so many aspects of our society and culture that breed narcissism. The constant “gaze” of social media is a huge one, but the problem existed before social media did. At most, gratuitous trophies are a symptom of a much more fundamental problem - one to which the people who rail about them are no more immune than anyone else.
Isn’t the idea that parents shouldn’t raise their children to have unwarranted self esteem (ie “special snowflake syndrome” special snowflake syndrome - Wiktionary, the free dictionary)?
I think there’s a difference between kids, especially those from disadvantaged backgrounds, being encouraged not to underestimate what they are capable of, and privileged kids being told that they are special and are better than other people.
The latter is especially problematic when kids are shielded from failure (eg by school grade inflation) and might not encounter it until they are faced with a rude awakening much later on. Perhaps that might be through disappointing college admissions results, but in some cases (especially if helicopter parents or connections get them into college) it might be even later in life.