But when it starts going back and forth too many times, it’s not constructive. It’s a separate topic.
Hate that too!
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Tips and wages come in as follows. I use an example. My D (true story) ALWAYS pays the suggested extra 15% or 20% displayed on the credit card reader when going to get takeout anywhere. I ALWAYS ask her why (because I don’t like paying that and feel annoyed that it’s even presented to make me look bad if I don’t). She ALWAYS says because they’re kids and they’re working. And I ALWAYS say, SO WHAT! They get paid. They are doing their job. They’re not paid to just stand there and look at their phones, but rather greet me, take my order, be pleasant and help me have an overall positive experience. That’s their job. They chose to work there. If they wanted tips, they should be a server at a different place. She just doesn’t get it. Insists that they “deserve it” because they are there (sounds like getting a trophy for showing up to me).
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Gotta love people complaining about participation trophies on a website which awards myriad badges for participation.
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Several of these kids have told me they don’t even get the tips. So there’s that consideration as well.
I’m glad to hear the next generation is the one changing. Perhaps those trophies for all did teach a beneficial lesson when they were younger - the idea that a human’s a human no matter what job they are playing on the team. 
For me (and probably her), if a tip for a lower income worker from a higher financial status person is too much to ask, one can always make something to eat at home instead.
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Same with us. I don’t believe in paying kids for chores. That said, sometimes they would do chores for grandma and grandpa, and they’d get paid for that. Or if H and I had some extra jobs around the house we’d pay them. We paid S to shred documents for us. We paid D once for washing both cars. These aren’t their normal chores…
I’ve asked several around me and on our travels. In the US the answer has always been yes, though they’re likely shared with all the staff working. Overseas, esp in poor countries, the answer can easily be no. There it’s much better to give cash personally than to put it on a card. The owners keep it if it’s on a card knowing they can replace the worker if they complain about it. When in doubt, asking is helpful.
I think paying for chores is totally different. A family is a team - everyone pitching in. Paying for chores (or any allowance) is more akin to one team member giving another a trophy. Everyone pitches in and everyone shares the winnings (perks of having a clean place or dinner made or, for us, critters well fed and cared for, etc).
We paid for extra things, but not for everyday things. I guess that’s akin to the player scoring a goal getting hugs from everyone on the team?
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Forget participation trophies, make them run during the game:
My kind of coach. 
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I guess future players can decide if he’s their kind of coach or not. Recruiting next year could be interesting to compare to previous years.
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I remember on a Tipping thread in CC some time back that people were saying it’s better to give the servers cash than putting the tip on a credit card. I don’t remember why that was – the same reason not to do it in the poorer countries? Of course also in that thread were posters urging everyone to give bigger tips than (at least what used to be) the customary percentages.
I haven’t been back to an indoor restaurant since before covid. What with the reduced hours, not enough workers, and then these suggestions to give cash for tips and to overtip because the servers don’t make enough, it would be too annoying to me to eat indoors at a restaurant very often even if I wasn’t worried about covid spread.
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Many folks like to pay cash as the server prefers cash and most often will not pay the taxes owed as they do not report the income. Of course, everyone likes the services the government provides but they do not see the link that the government needs tax revenue to provide the services.
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Couldn’t help myself…latest example of participation trophies…The College Bowl series. Used to be about 10 bowls with 4 majors and only the best teams in the country got to play in a bowl game. It was an honor and a major feather in the cap of the program, helped recruiting, brought in money, to the victor go the spoils. Fast forward and now we have approx 30 or 35 bowls and very average teams with 6 wins (6-6, 6-5) get to play in a bowl game. It’s like they have changed it from only the best get to play to only the worst don’t get in. Most of these games are utterly meaningless. Nobody who knows anything about college football is impressed if your team went 6-5 and played in the New York Pin Stripe Bowl. What is that. Complete watering down of the meaning of a college bowl game. Ridiculous.
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Around here the question is usually which bowl did they get, the Toilet Bowl?
Otherwise, like many things, it’s all about the money to be made - not the trophy affect.
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I agree with rickle for the most part, but on the other hand, I think about the money that the bowls bring to the local economy (at least in the warm weather locations - no way I am paying to travel and sit outside in December at Yankee Stadium and watch a bowl game!) And I’m guessing colleges themselves make considerable amounts of money from participating in a bowl (do I dare to hope that they share the money with other athletic programs?) Additionally, many lesser-bowl teams play with a skeleton crew, as those who are going pro don’t want to risk injury.
Cut out all the bowls that play in cold weather cities and up the stat requirements to qualify.
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Tongue in cheek but you mean get back to the former bowl calendar when they actually meant something. There was a reason why they were all in warm climates and mainly on 12/30 - Jan 1.
Take the money out of the conversation. Yes I realize that’s become almost the whole focus on the bowl season these days.
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When the competition is fair and merit base, people will take the defeat. It also depends on what and who define the fairness and merits.
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You have put in the qualifier “almost anything,” which I think is good. Many parents tell their kids “there is nothing you can’t achieve if you work hard enough for it.”
That’s simply not true. Some goals are never attained, no matter how hard someone works for them. Some people lack the ability, or the intelligence, or the talent, the means, or even just being in the right place at the right time, etc. to achieve certain goals. Failure/disappointment is a fact of life, particularly if goals are unrealistic. We all certainly know many kids who have worked as hard as it is possible to work to get into whichever “dream school” they have aspired to attend. We also know many of those kids (most?) do not get into those schools. We know kids who worked no harder and were accepted. We know kids who have worked as hard as it is possible to work to become professional athletes or performers, doctors, etc. Working hard is a good thing, but it does not mean the goal will be achieved. If the goal was not achieved, it does not mean the person didn’t work “hard enough.” Sometimes unfairness or outright discrimination prevents someone who is capable and deserving from achieving a goal, no matter that they worked very hard. There are bad people in the world who cheat their way to success and work to make sure other deserving people are denied.
Hopefully each person finds what skills they do possess, and working within their abilities and in the best environment they can find, sets and achieves goals over time that result in personal fulfillment, pride, and good self esteem. I think most people posting on this site have tried very hard to set their kids up to succeed in life both professionally and personally. We just want them to have happy lives, however they define that.
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