<p>During my high school years I began to realize that my home life was significantly different from that of my peers. The circumstances I endured were the cherry on top of preexisting difficulties. However, the setbacks I have faced have been nothing short of an education; they have taught me about myself.
Growing up with my father has been a constant battle for my self-esteem and self-worth. As a result of his alcoholic and bipolar tendencies, debilitating anxiety arose which made me so unsure of myself that I came to believe I was incapable of succeeding in anything. As the oldest in my family, I was alternately held responsible for the behavior of my siblings and the quality of his marriage. It culminated in the demise of my family as I knew it; the night he drunkenly tried to strangle my mother. A messy divorce followed, and I was inescapably stuck in the middle. This misfortune was the turning point in my life, however.
The months after, I isolated myself. I didnt focus on school or relationships. Instead I focused on myself; discovering who I was and who I wanted to be. During this time, I reached a mental epiphany. I realized the reasons behind my inability to succeed werent because I was untalented or unintelligent, but because I never gave myself a chance to show my talents or intelligence.
While the structure in my life dwindled it became clear that my independence would be key in defining my future. The privileged lifestyle I had long become accustomed to would last only as long as my adolescent years. I chose not to be angry but instead redirected my emotions into productivity, responsibility, and integrity. My abilities and my academics have only progressed from this experience and I expect that if given the chance, they will only progress further.</p>
<p>blehhh! help meeeee</p>
<p>bump bump!!!</p>
<p>Is this…your essay?</p>
<p>Yeah, any recommendations on making it better?</p>
<p>Really, Im cool with negative and positive feedback. Any feedback is good feedback.</p>
<p>I think it was courageous to write so openly and candidly but I think in order for it to have the desired effect (which I assume is to emphasise your subsequent growth and not the traumatic experiences themselves), you need to drive home a little clearer that although your circumstances have been unfortunate, you’re a better person for it. You have mentioned this, but I think you should make it a little more pronounced so that the colleges see your essay as a positive and enlightened reflection as opposed to a victim’s story. I could be wrong and I don’t claim to know much about college admissions offices but upon first reading your essay, these are the thoughts that occurred to me. Plus, you may want to review some of your grammar. good luck!! :)</p>