<p>I totally get your feelings. But I too think your daughter is ready but maybe your arent. It is a tough decision for any family and more so for a divorced mom (and in my case my d is an only child).</p>
<p>I think I considered bs for my d first because I felt it was right for her and it would allow her to not feel guilty about “leaving” me for college. The schools that accepted her felt that she was ready, and there were a ton of applicants. I dont think that many schools are wrong about her readiness. (My d was accepted at 5 bs, they werent all wrong).</p>
<p>The fear that you are separated is there but we are even closer now then when she was here. I wish she could have gone for 9th grade but we didnt get that option. We have a hell of a great time when she is home and even when we skype on sundays. </p>
<p>Bs is not just to get ready for college but for life. I just dont think that bs attendance hurts college choices, Ivys or LAC’s or state schools. The “controlled freedom” that kids get at bs is something that few kids get at home. I believe that my d will handle life better because she is able to make good and not so good choices and have support when they work or dont work. My d has learned to fall, (on a soft spot) and is learning how to get up,take stock of her situation and move on. </p>
<p>I felt I still had things to give my d but I felt bs could do more. For me it is a co-parenting support and gives her what she needs.</p>
<p>Take some time and reflect. Think of all the reasons you allowed her to apply and then think some more.</p>
<p>Remember,its not prison, if it doesnt work for her she can return home, nothing lost and many things gained. </p>
<p>TimNsv, it sounds as if your daughter can’t make a wrong choice. I think it makes a difference whether you’re debating the go/no go decision with your ex-spouse, or with your daughter. If it’s the former case, I’d recommend waiting a year until all the adults are in agreement. </p>
<p>If it’s the latter case, though, I think you should attend revisit days and watch your daughter’s reactions. If she’s the instigator in the boarding school plan, a small day school in Idaho isn’t going to appeal to her, even if it has stellar college placement. </p>
<p>Some middle school kids show up on this site determined to attend the Ivy League. If your daughter’s primary reason to attend boarding school is to improve her admissions chances at elite Eastern colleges, the Idaho Advantage should be a winning argument. If, however, she wants to see the world, I would listen to her. She’s managed to win admission to four fine schools. This doesn’t sound like a passing fancy.</p>
<p>One more perspective–admittedly not a rosy one. Distance from the BS Does make a difference. BS is hard and stressful and sometimes I think the West Coast mentality is less equiped. On families, it is also much harder on those coming from a distance than for the New Englanders who send their kids 2 hours away–those kids go home to do laundry, have parents who can attend sports games or plays or music performances, and generally have a network of folks in the same boat. My S comes from the West Coast and his experience at BS has been less than wonderful. We are rethinking it for next year (he’s a sophomore) because he hasn’t thrived. Of course, many factors go into whether the C is successful or not at such a young age, and I don’t know your D enough to opine on it. However, look carefully at the schools because, unlike the other posters, I think schools vary a great deal in their support and guidance of kids and their sense of community, so that too can make a difference. Higher day school populations is a red flag for me (because they arent’ that focused on the students from far away). And look closely at your family dynamics and decide if this is something that D really, really, needs now–during her teen years or can be something she can enjoy for college.</p>
<p>I’m just wondering if you pass up this yrs acceptances, would the AOs of these boarding schools consider you a serious candidate for nxt yr or wishy-washy?</p>
<p>Tim - please go into your post that has cousins email text and edit out daughter’s name, and you def. want to get her to change her user name on this cc.</p>
<p>TimNsv – a few years ago, we were in similar shoes. My S applied at the last minute to “test the waters” since his grade school went through 9th, and we wanted to see if BS would be a possibility. Also, my husband was not on board with the whole BS idea. When my S had some very nice choices, we were hoping we could defer, but learned that BSs don’t allow for that option. At revisits, my S begged us to let him go, and my husband came around. Though we would have preferred to wait 10th grade, we also didn’t want to take a chance of perhaps being rejected the following year. So long story short, my S happily matriculated as a 9th grader and has thrived in the experience. Definitely go to revisits and see how things stand after that. Best wishes – it is hard to let them go, but the kids who really want to go to BS are usually very independent and mature, and ready for the experience (it is the parents who make the real sacrifice to let them go). Best wishes in your decision.</p>