<p>I have a daughter who is a junior at a selective university, and my son was also accepted with a nice scholarship at the same school. Do the advantages of having both kids at the same school outweigh the disadvantages?
We want our son to develop his own college life, and are a bit concerned that he will fall in with daughter's friends and maybe not develop his own as much.
Thanks.</p>
<p>She’ll be a Senior and he’ll be a Freshman so I wouldn’t worry about that at all.</p>
<p>I agree, I doubt they will interact that much. Maybe he’ll hang out with her and her friends a little, but they’re going to live in different dorms, have different classes, be involved in different activities, so they probably will be lucky if they can schedule time to see each other on campus. It’s not so uncommon for students from the same family to go to the same college.</p>
<p>I don’t think you have a thing to worry about. My older two spent one year at the same school (she was a senior and he was a first-year), and even though it’s a very small school, they only crossed paths on purpose. </p>
<p>They both loved having that year together. And there were plenty of upsides for me, especially when my son came down with mono the first month of school, and I could send his big sister to take him soup and ginger ale.</p>
<p>They definitely weren’t the only sibling pair, either. Just as Smithie says, it’s really not uncommon.</p>
<p>My brother and I attended the same college and we hardly saw each other unless we made the effort to get together. Each of your kids will be so busy with their own activities that they won’t have much time for hanging. Plus, going to the same school makes transportation, etc, a whole lot easier!</p>
<p>I understand your concern. DH and his sister went to the same university. Very quickly the tables turned from DH being the ‘little brother’, to SiL simply being ‘the sister’. It levels out very quickly. They actually did have many of the same friends in a large university and were involved in the same fraternity (she was a little sister). They had plenty of room to move apart if they had wanted. This was in stark contrast to their relationship in hs where SiL wouldn’t even speak to him in the hall. They continue to be very close to this day.</p>
<p>They really will work it out. Congratulations on the nice scholarship for your son, and having two students at a great university!</p>
<p>I have two at the same school…it has worked out wonderfully. As a matter of fact my other two kids go up often to visit. It has become the “family school” so to speak. We all love it and feel right at home. Do your kids share a close relationship? If they do than expect that they will get together and probably go out together while on campus. My kids are in the same year so I guess that explains why they hang out so much.</p>
<p>I have a number of friends whose kids went to the same colleges (Hampshire, Amherst, and GWU). It didn’t seem to be a problem. In fact, I think I’m remembering this correctly–when you’ve got two kids at George Washington University, you get a reduction in the tuition. My friend was pleasantly surprised when she heard about it. Don’t know if that’s common or uncommon or if GWU still does it.</p>
<p>I had two kids at the same college. It was great. Made family vacations much easier. Kid2 inherited Kid1’s great, inexpensive apartment. They did not hang out together much at all, but one would often swing by where the other was working to say “Hi”, and they did wind up with a few friends in common. They really enjoyed knowing each other in an “adult” context, and they have a much closer relationship as a result. </p>
<p>I know a bunch of families with kids who went to the same college, and I can’t remember hearing any horror stories. I went to law school where my sister was an undergraduate. She helped me find an apartment before I got there, which was great (even though it fell apart and I had to move after one semester). We saw each other maybe once a month, not much more, but it was nice to see each other once a month.</p>
<p>My son and daughter went to the same college (Hampshire) for one year, and it was a great experience for both of them. My son showed his sister the ropes and introduced her to some of his friends. They even took one class together!</p>
<p>My brother and I were two years apart and I hardly ever saw him - maybe we had a meal together a few times a semester. Amusingly he ended up becoming good friends with my best friend from first semester freshman year (she dropped out, took two years off and ended up in his class) and married her. My youngest brother also went to the same college. I think there’s only one course we all took - that was a drawing course we all loved. We took it at different times - my sister-in-law took it too.</p>
<p>What does your son thing? What is his opinion?</p>
<p>My brother and I attended the same college. Got to be good friends on those long drives home. Rarely saw him on campus. Never had a class with him. Not a problem unless it is a really tiny place. </p>
<p>Hopefully the D will graduate on time and move on. S may benefit from some of the same friends but D shouldn’t be around forever to “dominate” the scene.</p>
<p>My brother and I attended the same university. He is two years younger. I do remember being concerned at the time that he would try to “hang out” with my friends, something I wasn’t really comfortable with at the time. But it turned out fine. He joined a frat, I was way across campus as an RA in a dorm, and when things got tough for him at one point, he could call and talk to me for hours. (Actually easier than getting together - and the crisis would usually occur after 2am.) If both your kids are ok with it, it should be fine!</p>
<p>My two sons (a senior and a soph) are attending the same school. They rarely see each other unless they make a point to see each other. They are “good friends” with each other, but they each have their own social circle.</p>
<p>Sometimes, when one doesn’t have any plans, one will call the other to see if they want to meet in a dining hall or off-campus to eat and catch up. But, that’s probably only happened a few times.</p>
<p>Having them at the same campus has been great! Move-in and move-out days are easier. They both are on the same calendar…same spring break, same Christmas break, start and end school at the same time. :)</p>
<p>My sister (one year older) and I went to the same university. We weren’t “best friends” or close at all in high school. We rarely saw each other on campus. I remember going to a few plays and movies together–or having lunch, maybe twice a year! And she was able to recommend a few courses/professors to take/avoid. We had our own friends, didn’t go to parties together. A couple indirect advantages for me were that I got a summer job that I loved(lasted 3 summers), a nice suite in preferred dorm my senior year, and a recommendation I needed after graduation–all through connections with HER friends.</p>
<p>It made transportation more convenient for our parents (we didn’t have cars.)</p>
<p>My younger brother also attended the same school–he was a freshman when I was a senior. He didn’t like it there and transferred out after one semester. (I sort of felt guilty about not “being there” for him or helping him out.)</p>
<p>Thanks for all of the input!
It sounds like it works out very well. They are fairly close, and this will probably bring them even closer.
We are wrestling with the fact that my son is being recruited by a higher ranked reach school for a sport and has applied ED, but he is getting cold feet and seems to like this school better, even though it doesn’t have that sport. He thinks this school will be a lot more fun, a better fit and still a quality education.</p>
<p>Back in the day, my H was a senior at a small college when his brother was a freshman there. His brother even pledged the same fraternity - and they still didn’t see each other all that much. They got along well, but the 3 year age difference meant they moved in different circles.</p>
<p>I remember when H got the flu. There was a knock on his dorm door, I opened it and there was younger brother with a half-gallon of orange juice. “Mom called me and told me to buy this for you.” He handed it over and left. :p</p>
<p>I have two kids currently in college, but the older brother wouldn’t “let” his younger brother apply to “his” college. The two are very close and often have friends in common. I was sad at first, but it’s turned out really well. The schools they attend are very different, and have a different focus, although they are the same USN&WR rank.</p>
<p>My other experience is through my oldest son. His roommate had a sister who attended the same college. That meant the roommate was already familiar with the school–the dorms, the clubs, the professors. In that first hour of moving in, he already met kids he knew through his sister. His family lived on the other coast, but they went to their relatives for events like Thanksgiving. I think it was really, really, really hardest on my son. His roommate didn’t hang out with him at all and it made for a miserable year.</p>
<p>I know you’ve heard all positives about having siblings at the same college, but I think you should seriously consider whether the college is a good fit and how dependent your kids are of each other. College, remember, is a time of trying new experiences.</p>