Typical, depressed college kid - opinions welcome

Parents Forum
1

<p>1) Breezed through high school and rocked the ACT with minimal effort
2) Went to college with same mindset and to escape family issues
3) Got academic ass kicking and flunked out after 3 semesters
4) Now asking for opinions on College Confidential</p>

<p>If I were to take a stab at a self-diagnosis, I would say I've had "mild" depression for a handful of years. Don't know where it stemmed from, but my lack of motivation/drive seems to have gotten worse (hence, only lasting for a year and a half away at college).</p>

<p>I will be 20 in June. I have a driver's permit, but no license. I have never held a job. I can safely assume these are culprits in my overall lack of responsibility and decreased motivation.</p>

<p>I currently owe Illinois State $6000 (stopped going to a couple classes to focus on another and they revoked some financial aid - luckily it's interest free) + $1300 (cancellation fees for housing). If I attend mid-semester classes at my local CC and show ISU my schedule they'll drop the housing fee, but I'm stuck with the six grand.</p>

<p>My idea, thus far:</p>

<p>1) See a therapist (college depression seems too common - curious how many kids hide it)
2) Attend local CC for this semester (ISU housing fees get waived, 6 month grace period for loans gets renewed until I'm out of school again, and I can work to start chipping away at that $6000)
3) Work for another year back home and then (eventually) move back down to Normal. Figure an apartment with some friends would help, but more importantly I can work with the university as I still want a job with renewable energy/environmental engineering.</p>

<p>It's not much, but at least I have a tentative idea of what I want to do and that's a hell of an improvement from where I am right now.</p>

2

<p>Hmmm. The anxiety of living a way from home, I think overwhelmed you. Try living at home, doing the community college thing and working. You just might be the type of person that does btter with a busy and regimented lifestyle</p>

3

<p>I think you have a well-considered short-term plan, which a lot of kids your age do not have. I want to emphasize that depression is treatable–you need to get yourself to a therapist and possibly on some meds. Your future looks very bright. Yes this is a rough time for you but you have good ideas to get on the other side. Just don’t forget to get yourself mentally healthy.</p>

4

<p>I agree - your plan seems to cover the basics. You wanted to get away from home in the first place - do you have family troubles, or did you just want to spread your wings? How is family life now?</p>

5

<p>Metallica, I agree with the others that your plan seems well thought out and solid. </p>

<p>If you left to escape family problems, and you move back home, are there safeguards you can put in place to avoid being drawn back into a dysfunctional system? Maybe a discussion with your parents about their expectations for you if you live at home, and meeting those but otherwise staying away as much as possible? When you get a job, perhaps a token amount of rent (agreed on with your parents) in exchange for being treated as a renter with no other expectations? I’m not sure what the family situation is, but if there is, for example, alcoholism in a parent or other family member, support groups for the family such as Al-Anon can be helpful. </p>

<p>Therapy sounds like the key piece in this. If they suggestion medication, please try it, and wait for it to start working, which can take up to a month. If you get side effects, tell them and allow them to switch you to something else. There are many possible medications, and it’s not always possible to perfectly match the med to the person on the first try.</p>

<p>You are not alone: many MANY young adults your age go through a period of regrouping and self-searching and redirecting. And you are obviously intelligent and insightful and have the right attitude. I think you will come out the stronger for this experience.</p>

6

<p>First, let me say how impressed I am with your opening. 1-4, your situation in a nutshell. I don’t know what your major was, but you communicate beautifully. </p>

<p>You have a plan. Looks like a good one. If you just want to see if parents think it’s a good one, a lot of us do. </p>

<p>Finally, be careful with the self-diagnosis, just because if you focus one thing, you might miss another. Lots of college kids get off track, and a counselor who specializes in college students will be very helpful, no matter what turns out to be the issue. Definitely see a therapist, but go in with an open mind and let him or her make any diagnosis and suggest treatment. And then, of course, follow through with the treatment recommendations.</p>

7

<p>sosomenza: That’s definitely a possibility, but I’ve had motivation issues for a long time. It really hit me during my sophomore year of high school, but I was lazy even in junior high. I do agree with you, though. I like working out and playing music on a schedule so perhaps I could adapt that to everyday life.</p>

<p>MyLB: A better short-term plan would have been attending CC in the first place, but I digress. And yes, a therapist is definitely a must at this point in time.</p>

<p>GeekMom63: I wanted to leave because of newly divorced parents, mom went back with an old, high school crush (had an affair before the divorce was finalized) and then attempted suicide, youngest sister started cutting herself (learned about this late freshman year of college), and my middle sister has pretty bad anger issues with my eldest sister/mom. A few things have subsided in the past couple years, but my middle sister is now out of the apartment either living with my dad or a friend. Luckily, she’s going to Illinois State this fall and I feel like I can help her get on her feet/not make the same mistakes.</p>

<p>calla1: I’ve been home since late December and no, there is no escaping this type of dysfunctional (lol). And I’ve always wanted to give my parents a part of my paycheck because that’s the type of person I am, but no motivation and no job meant that was just an ideal never met. Plus, when I get a job (hopefully soon), most of that will be going to Illinois State.</p>

<p>ordinarylives: I went to ISU and immediately declared myself a Physics major and eventually learned about their Renewable Energy major (ISU and one of the major Arizona universities are the only two I know that offer it). I still love physics, but my dad works for ComEd and working as an engineer for their parent company, Exelon, sounds like a career for me. Also, I prefer things to be simple and correct in a world that will have none of it. Clarity, conciseness, and being a so-called “grammar Nazi” are wonderful assets to have. And I’m no medical professional, but I trust the people with the degree. By no means do I regularly self-diagnose nor is my opinion of my mental state set in stone.</p>

<p>I’m actually surprised by the amount of praise I’m getting toward my plan. I mean, I honestly don’t know if I’d go back to school after this spring semester, but that comes later. Thank you all very much.</p>

8

<p>I’m interested in knowing how you flunked out. Did you not attend class? Attend class but didn’t do the work? Attend class but couldn’t do the work? Or lack of a structure of an 8 hour day, M - F?</p>

<p>I’m glad that you are going to be evaluated for depression. Also, consider if maybe you have ADHD - inattentive type? You post does not reveal much, but here is the description and you could read if it fits you or not. [NIMH</a> · Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)](<a href=“NIMH » Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Children and Teens: What You Need to Know”>NIMH » Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Children and Teens: What You Need to Know). Alternately, consider executive function disorder. Both ADHD and EF disorder can affect motivation and organization.</p>

<p>Lastly, no worries that you path is not a direct 4-year straight shot. The varied path is interesting. You’ll learn more, mature more, do more, and it will have more meaning for you when you are all done!</p>

9

<p>YoHoYoHo: I started out OK, going to class and doing the work, but I believe a large part of it was my lack of responsibility and motivation carrying over into a life where you’re wholly responsible for yourself. Essentially, what little structure I had didn’t last long and I started missing assignments and eventually skipping a good amount of class. I was more than intelligent enough to do any task set before me, but no drive meant no work was getting done, unfortunately.</p>

<p>As far as mental health goes I was always curious about whether or not simple depression was the only thing afflicting me. I’m sure that is something a therapist could evaluate. As I have said, I’m not big into self-diagnosing even though some of those symptoms do sound familiar, but I’ll leave that for the professional to determine.</p>

<p>The weird thing is that my opinion of college has changed drastically and I’m only a sophomore. The clich</p>

10

<p>Off topic here: you have a unique, fascinating writing voice. Can you use this in your favor? Blogging, journaling, etc?</p>

11

<p>windbehindwings: Um… thank you, lol. Mind if I ask what you mean, exactly? I was in Honors and Advanced Placement English all throughout high school (sadly, I had no requirements or obligations to take more English/writing classes in college - a travesty, if you ask me), but I’ve never seen my writing style as unique.</p>

<p>Also, I’m still a bit confused as to what “blogging” really is. I’ve never even heard of “journaling” before.</p>