<p>Anyone with insight care to help my D with her decision?</p>
<p>Best $ is a Linfield</p>
<p>SMC is closest to home</p>
<p>UP is great and has always been one of her top choices. </p>
<p>She has visited all of them and is having trouble breaking this three way tie.</p>
<p>First of all, congratulations. We have all been in that situation. Its not easy. In fact, for us, it was a frightful experience because VERY close friends were involved and it brought out tears, angst, anxiety and eventually a broken relationship. But its part of the process of growing up. So here is my advice:</p>
<p>She is going to college, not you. So long as you dont have a specific problem with any of her choices, then do your best to stay out of it…except to provide generic commentary/advice…as solicited from her…or as you “sense” her need for same. But DONT make that decision for her. That is a recipe for disaster. </p>
<p>Its a HUGE decision for her and a HARD process for you as a parent. So be kind, considerate, loving and a good listener. She still has a few weeks. BUT DONT wait too long as the deadline looms and if you miss it even by a day, they are apt to give your seat to someone else. It happens all the time. </p>
<p>Tell her to make an inventory of her personality, interests and objectives. A sort of matrix. Let her weight them as she sees herself. Yes, that is fraught with risk. Then measure them as objectively as you can with what you believe those three schools offer. </p>
<p>Is weather important to her? UP is a great school. But the weather stinks. No question about it. Or is being away from home more exciting and does it trump weather? </p>
<p>Whose campus is more like her personality? Not just the buildings but the student body and the programs? Were the faculty warm and endearing or were they aloof and “professorial?” Does it matter to her?</p>
<p>I dont think you can go wrong irregardless of where she ends up. Once the decision is made, then close the book on the others. Send a nice letter of regrets and move on. Buy the GEAR for the school of your choice and WEAR IT. That helps you psychologically…all of you. It REALLY helped us to get over the frustrations and fears (turning down more lucrative scholarships and leaving friends behind…to reach out for adventure and something NEW! Which has paid off in SPADES! BIG SPADES!) </p>
<p>UP is a diocesan school, if I am not mistaken, and thus there is not a particular order of priests like Jesuits or Dominicans or whatever to consider. </p>
<p>We also looked deeply into faculty credentials and programs of interest and that is where the rubber meets the road. Yes, we had that epiphany of the campus “feel” and vibe. But it really came down to looking for the school that has the strongest program in what she wants to do. We guessed right.</p>
<p>So take the plunge, turn the page, close the book and look FORWARDS, not backwards or in the world of what if? Buy the gear and wear it. Good luck.</p>
<p>Thanks! I understand your cautions but believe me this is her decision not mine. </p>
<p>UP is actually Holy Cross like Notre Dame.
SMC is Lasallian
Linfield was founded by the Baptist Church but has a diverse religious population and a very active Catholic club.</p>
<p>I am looking forward to wearing the gear. I know she can’t make a wrong step but she is still looking for what will make her happier and she is struggling hence the post.</p>
<p>I would opt for Portland, it is in a great city and a very good school (much more selective than the other two).</p>
<p>vociferous thanks! The opportunity for internships in Portland is better. It’s hard for her to see the importance of that sitting in her little rural life but it is a potentially big deal</p>
<p>Thanks for that. I didnt realize that UP was Holy Cross Fathers. They have a rigorous academic history as well. The Christian Brothers (LaSallians) are also equally as rigorous. </p>
<p>I empathize completely with the angst…for you and for her. Believe me, we went through it in April 2007. It will all be okay in the end. </p>
<p>Money may or may not be important to you both in this process. But also remember you are purchasing an investment…an educational investment in your daughter. And depending on what she wants to do, then it seems to me that your choices are between SMC and UP. Linfield may be fine locally, but outside the area? Just a thought.</p>
<p>I second the motion on a second trip to UP. Either this weekend or next. Perhaps you/she will have an “epiphany” (yay or nay). </p>
<p>My D opted to go far away, which we supported. Freshman year in college was a mix of really high points, some low points (homesick, culture shock, cold gray skies, a bad case of the flu in January…we had to fly up to NYC and deal with that…get her fluffed up again) and some transferitis running up and down the hallways of her college. (Its VERY normal freshman year…usually immediately after Christmas) She stuck it out, and when the sun of springtime came out got reinvigorated and finished with a bang. She has done amazing things this year…a very, very positive experience and doors are opening bigtime for her. That is our bias. </p>
<p>For others, being closer to home, even though living on campus, is just as rewarding. Like I said, for us it came down looking at the objective facts of faculty credentials, programs etc. We had to pry ourselves away from the more subjective things like friends and weather and culture.</p>
<p>Be supportive of her. And get the gear…it really works! Best of luck to you both.</p>
<p>Thanks for your sweet and thoughtful words duely note and thoroughly appreciated!</p>
<p>bumppity bump</p>