<p>My daughter Jill has been waffling between 2 schools. SMU School of Engineering and Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. A major factor is that her grandfather passed away 2 weeks ago in the midst of her decision-making process. It's been difficult.
SMU offers more scholarship $, an engineering internship junior year, but both tied to a minimum GPA. It's in Dallas, reputation for some snobby kids, but Jill says she'll be with plenty of other kids in the honors dorm anyway. She has played varsity softball, but there's no team at SMU. She has been in theater, but there is none at SMU other than theater majors. She is an involved student, so says there are other groups she'd join.
Rose-Hulman has top engineering rankings, offers less scholarship $, she'd have to take out $15,000 more in loans. It's in a smaller city with no public transportation. But does have theater auditions and a Div III softball team. It is farther from home and has much colder weather.
How can I help her decide? I want the decision to be hers.
Last week it was SMU. We had 90% of paperwork filled out and almost ready to send off. Then she got an e-mail from Rose-Hulman and said she wanted to go to Rose. Today, she says she could get a good education from either school and would be ok at either. She says she changed her mind to Rose last week because she thought it would be more fun there. Today she says she could enjoy herself at either school.
Any advice for a girl whose decision process was upset by the loss of her grandfather, and is therefore rushed?</p>
<p>Has she been on the facebook sites for the two schools? That helped my D figure out where she might best "fit." I assume that she must really like both ... so that could help her decide. It's tough ... but she will be fine no matter what she decides! BTW, sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>Candyg, we had the same problem. My father died unexpectedly a few weeks ago, as well, and Zoosergirl was very close to him. She had two excellent choices, one that she loved and one that made great practical sense. It was not fun, but ultimately she decided on the school closer to home because the other school was a five-year master's program and it dawned on her that her Nanny, who is the person closest to ZG in the entire world, may not be here five years hence. Not necessarily the greatest reason for making the decision, but that's what it came down to. She has finally stopped second guessing herself and stressing about it (this week!) and just accepted the choice she made. I love the idea of drawing names out of a hat and seeing what the reaction is. Good luck!</p>
<p>I am very sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>Perhaps ask each school for an additional week to decide, given the unusually difficult personal circumstances. But you would need a response from each in writing today, so logistically that might be impractical.</p>
<p>There are a number of threads in which people offer advice on how to come to a decision, for example:</p>
<p>One big difference between the two (obviously) is that RHIT is a pure-nerd school. If your daughter changes her mind on majors, she would have to transfer to a different school. SMU offers a lot more variety. If you aren't 100% sure about engineering as her major (and something like half of students who start off with engineering change their minds), SMU might get the nod.</p>
<p>Good luck. (My son made the nerd choice, and, for him, I'm sure he's right. You know your daughter, maybe she just needs a nudge.)</p>
<p>Heavens, I'd be right on the phone with both schools asking for a week's extension.</p>
<p>It's not just the loss of the student's grandparent. It's also the loss of the parent's parent. And a responsible school knows that it's the parent who has to weigh in at the last minute to help guide the decision process re: finances, logistics, with the student. Otherwise the student could make a faulty decision.</p>
<p>Perhaps the parent is just recovering from funeral arrangemnts, etc.</p>
<p>I'd call the school and say that you, as the parent, can't recover like this so soon after losing your parent, and you want to be fully "there" to help make sure the final decision is sound.</p>
<p>If you get a snippy young administrator saying no, then ask for a supervisor. This takes life experience to know how these losses rock a family.</p>
<p>That's how I'd handle it; I wouldn't be able to think straight yet.</p>
<p>Ask for 2 weeks more, if you can get it.</p>
<p>Thanks. I'll suggest she look there this afternoon, if she hasn't already.</p>
<p>I will call the schools and request more time, something I've thought of but seems all the more reasonable now that several of you suggested it. It's true that it's more difficult for us to think clearly right now, and I think we are all stressed because we feel rushed, as well.
Thanks!! for the support and good ideas.</p>