<p>I just wrote my personal statement today and I would love some feedback! Any at all would be extremely helpful.
Its just a rough draft and it is a little long. </p>
<p>Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?</p>
<pre><code>I waved one last goodbye to my teary parents, turned around, and walked down the runway towards my plane, hungry for adventure and hoping to make a difference. It was the summer of 2010 and I was about to spend two weeks in the impoverished town of Puerto Plata in the Dominican Republic, without hot water, toilets, and the comfort of many other American amenities. But regardless of my anxiety of not being able to shower, I was fully ready to immerse myself in a new culture. I had set out to make a difference in the lives of others, but in the end, it was the Dominicans that made a difference in me.
The stark contrasts between the cultures of America and the Dominican Republic were so overwhelming at first, however after two weeks immersed in a completely new culture, the differences became so small. My group and I went to a Haitian refugee camp, where the children and their families of often 15 or more slept in one tent, and the only meal they got was lunch provided by the local mission. It is hard to think how you can connect to a people so different from you, yet just a simple smile and a an attempt to introduce yourself in Spanish can close the gap. I am not so different from the Dominicans and even Haitians. We all have dreams, fears, sadness and are all capable of loving. At the end of the day, a few tears slid down my face as I hugged the children I felt like I had grown so close to, and silently thanked them for helping me realize the simple knowledge that beneath our different cultures, we are all the same. It is now my dream, and my career goal, to help the third world countries gain prosperity.
Although the Dominican Republic is not as impoverished and uneducated as its neighbor Haiti, many of the places and people I saw still brought tears to my eyes. I never fully understood the meaning of hunger until I saw a young boy with protruding ribs and dying eyes fall over due to extreme malnutrition. I never understood the meaning of inequality until a young girl explained her only wish was to attend school, but her father would only permit the boys in the family to attend school. There substandard of living in an impoverished country is something I as an Americans could never truly understood. . Yet, despite the hardships, the Dominicans are the most caring, loving, and determined people I have ever encountered. Even though many are starving and all the odds are against them, they still fight to gain a better life.
When I returned home my entire perspective on life changed. I took the skills and knowledge I learned in the Dominican Republic and applied it to my daily life through more volunteer work, school, and even the local government. I took the issue that was the most important to me from the Dominican Republic, inequality in education, and applied it my local community. As a junior commissioner for the Status of Women for ******* county, I got the privilege to present my concern to the California State Legislature. I am currently writing a proposition through my schools Global Student Embassy to get money to build schools in third world countries. I learned to fight for what I believe in, to make a better life for myself, and others, just like the Dominicans do on a daily basis.
I had set out with the mindset that I was going to help make a difference in the Dominicans lives, however I never expected that they would make a difference in my life. It is difficult to understand how two weeks could change a person so much, yet I feel that my time in the Dominica Republic has set the course for my life. I know that I want to join the Peace Corps, and have a job where I can help make a difference in others lives, and also inadvertently have them make a difference in my life. The beauty of service work, of my experience, is learning that there is so much more to life than just the simplicity of living it day to day. I brought meaning to my life through my volunteering. I have become a better person and have definitive goals for the future. I gained leadership skills, and made friendships that will last for a life time. That was more than I could have ever asked for.
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