<p>Hello, I'm a transfer student looking for some review/critique to both prompts of my personal statement, thanks in advance.</p>
<p>What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field — such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities — and what you have gained from your involvement.</p>
<p>Sequencing of human DNA, stem cell research and microscopic surgery advances are all important milestones in medicine, they provide an insight into how technology has progressed and where it is going.* Biological chemistry integrates the study of chemical processes and reactions and their effects on biological functions, and it is also my major.* Biochemistry is an interesting subject that has posed challenging, humbling and fulfilling coursework. Through the study of biochemistry I hope to put myself in good position to attend medical school and serve as a doctor.</p>
<p>Although college was intimidating at first, the choices for majors were boundless and allowed me to fully explore where my interests resided.* After one semester of chemistry I rekindled my love for the sciences, it was a subject that provoked questions of basic molecular interactions beyond the range of the class. The next semester I took biology as well, determined to understand the complexities of life, how it came to be and where it’s going.* I was always scientifically minded, I remember receiving a microscope on Christmas day when I was the ripe age of ten years old.* It wasn’t as flashy as the remote control car that my brother received, but I was elated nonetheless.* Throughout the following year I sat down every day looking at the different slides prepared for me, first the bee wing, then the thorax and the abdomen.* Eventually cotton, silk, the tip of a feather, various insects, each inspected frugally one by one.* Looking through the microscope exposed to me new worlds all of which had their own intricate patterns and reasoning.* The thorax of the bee, carefully arranged and segmented, the thread of silk, finely interlaced, weave into weave.* As I reached the end of the slides prepared for me I sat and wondered, carefully pondering what my next interest would be, perhaps another insect, an arm hair or even that old camera battery, the options were nearly endless.* This insatiable pursuit of knowledge, the study of the slides, was not limited to those which were prepared for me, but also strive to learn about that which piqued my interest.* *I also try to apply this mindset to my school work, and not be bounded by the restrains of the subjects covered in class but instead take the initiative to expand my knowledge in subjects that I’m interested in. I want to explore the world of biochemistry and gain a further understanding of molecular interactions in living organisms and how they could relate to solving current medical problems, through pharmacology or lab research.</p>
<p>Through volunteer work at Glendale Adventist hospital I have learned*how to relate to patients who are in need of help and serve the community as a whole. It has provided me with an insight into what a future work environment will be like, as well as allowing me to help others and better myself. Overall I am excited to continue my education and be involved in bettering the healthcare system and my community. I am hopeful to join the annual organic chemistry research team this summer, to allow the further understanding of synthesis of organic compounds.</p>
<p>Prompt 2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?</p>
<p>When I have free time on weekends I'm usually helping my grandmother take care of her rental properties, mostly general repair and upkeep. This is not a grandeur responsibility that I am proud of because it casts me in a good light, but rather because it is one that shows my character. Through helping my grandma I have gained invaluable experience in how to be dedicated and determined despite being doubtful about the outcome of your work. Although I'm not the most accomplished handyman and I hardly have an interest in pursuing a career in construction I still feel that my time is well spent in learning how to fix simple things, as well as being able to spend time with my family. One experience in particular was especially daunting, it involved the tearing down and repair of her outdoor deck, which happened to be elevated 15 feet in the air. For five days straight I worked over spring break, the first day was particularly hot, the sun beat down on me as I pulled the twenty foot 2x6 boards up with a crowbar, one by one. The second day was more of the same, although general repair was in order, some of the crossbeams had to be repaired with a support due to termite damage, many others fully replaced. On the third day I was able to remove most of the boards and set in place almost twenty new 2x6 boards, only the solid 4x4 stands were to be supplanted. At almost one hundred pounds and over fifteen tall I propped up the beams while standing off the edge of a deck looking down over a sharp hillside, I managed to get all three of the solid stands in place before calling it a day. The fourth and fifth days involved mainly securing boards with bolts and nails and ensuring everything seemed in order. This was certainly not a project that required mental capacity or intelligence, but it did test my endurance and determination to achieve the goal that I set in front of me. The project posed many challenges, but I overcame them. It was not easy, just as college is not easy, but I was able to motivate myself to continue because the reward was well worth the sacrifice. It also allowed me to understand how much details matter when pursuing your goal, I wanted to make sure that the deck, and thus my education, is going to last well into the future. </p>
<p>Sorry for the long post, but I appreciate any feedback, even from peers.</p>
<p>Edit: probably have too much jargon in prompt #2, trying to figure out how to rewrite it.</p>