UCLA Appeals Letter

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of California - Los Angeles
1

I was recently denied admission to the University of California, Los Angeles, as a nursing major (while accepted under a different major to UC Berkeley). I’m hoping to appeal the decision and be reconsidered under a different major and would like feedback on my letter.

To Whom It May Concern:

I would like to first sincerely thank you for your further consideration of and additional time on my application to the University of California, Los Angeles. I recently received notification from the university informing me that I have been denied admission for the fall of 2017 due to the overwhelming number of applicants and lacking number of spaces available; I am writing this appeal because I know I am an extremely qualified candidate for admission to the university when my application is taken holistically, and I may have chosen a major disadvantageous to my chances. Despite this, I firmly believe I should be admitted to the University of California, Los Angeles as a Mathematics Major in the College of Letters & Science for the following reasons:

  1. Although I selected nursing as my major, I am still undecided on the career I plan to pursue and, at the time, I did not fully understand the type of applicants accepted to this program. I understand now that for this program I am grossly unqualified at this point in time; however, for your College of Letters & Science I am more than prepared. I chose nursing as my major because I was seriously considering it as a career at the time of my application; I have since volunteered in hospital settings and elsewhere because I have realized I am more suited to a less visibly traumatic job atmosphere, setting my sights on a possible career in social work or teaching.
  2. I have been passionate about and successful in mathematics since a young age; some of my earliest memories of school include competing in mathematics competitions and enjoying the rush and excitement from experimenting with numbers and challenging my young mind. I am also currently working as a mathematics tutor in Sonoma County and am eligible to transfer to a branch of my work place in the Los Angeles area, providing me with a stable and enjoyable job doing what I intend to major in. Furthermore, throughout high school I have shown dedication to the subject, participating in my school's math club and competing with our math team in numerous competitions across the state. I have also gone far out of my way to enroll in advanced math classes during my high school career, and even dedicated an entire summer to a college math course that I earned 100% of all points in.
  3. I understand that over the past year my academic achievement and involvement has dropped considerably, but I would like to take the time to briefly explain why. Although I have had difficulty speaking on this subject in the past, I now realize that one must fully understand the circumstances surrounding my recent decline in academic achievement in order for one to truly understand me as an applicant: I was unfortunately involved in a sexually abusive relationship with my father which left me mentally, emotionally, and physically scarred. At the age of 17, I was finally able to open up to the proper authorities about the abuse with the help of friends who had seen the physical aftermath. Following this was a massive investigation that included the arrest of my father on 13 felony charges; I was unable to attend school during the second half of my junior year due to the court case and my responsibility to cooperate with both federal and state law enforcement agencies. This court case is still ongoing and further charges have been brought against my father. Unfortunately, the amount of time I have been able to devote to my studies has nearly disappeared; despite this, I will still graduate near the top of my class with high scores on AP exams.
  4. My inability to maintain my previous straight-A average in classes during this difficult period has not been a reflection upon my ability to complete the coursework, but rather a reflection upon the failings of our family and criminal court systems and the lack of support there is for traumatized children in our society; there have been very little accommodations made to help me complete my classes and, although still unexplained, my school chose to keep me from attending classes for nearly a month after missing the first week due to hearings.
  5. Prior to this occurrence, I had missed school due to hospitalizations related to the abuse and the post-traumatic stress disorder I suffer as a result of it. However, until my school prevented me from attending classes, my grades never suffered as a result of my own mental and emotional suffering. While my priorities have changed slightly, I still have the same dedication to my education as I did during previous years where I would even bring coursework with me to treatment. School has always been my refuge and will continue to be something that brings me great joy.
  6. Since the age of four, I have wanted to live in the Los Angeles area; I did not grow up in a wealthy household and the trip my mother made with me to Disneyland at this young age has stuck with me throughout my childhood. I began dance classes soon after this trip and joined my local theater troupe after moving to Montana, participating in several productions. The University of California, Los Angeles, has been my dream school since that young age, and I even attempted to apply at the age of eight (though my elementary school counselor found considerable amusement in this). I have worked my entire life, doing everything within my power to ensure my acceptance to this school and this desire is what prompted my family's relocation to Sonoma County during my freshman year of high school. I have studied the transcripts of the formerly admitted, attended events catered to prospective attendees, and keep in touch with my friends who currently attend the school. My dream of moving to Los Angeles and attending this school is a large part of what has motivated me to work as hard as I do in school, though I will continue to work this hard whether or not I am admitted.
  7. The city of Los Angeles is my top choice for relocation for several other reasons as well, and attending the University of California located here would provide me with an immeasurable number of benefits. For starters, I have several family members located in the area and being in close proximity to them would help me mentally and emotionally, as well as financially while I look to build my own independence. Staying in California is also vital as I have my medical insurance through the state, and my insurance has branches located near the UC campus.

For both personal and academic reasons, the University of California, Los Angeles is my top choice, or only choice, of colleges and I beseech you to reconsider my admission. I respectfully request that you review my application and transcripts, keeping the mind the above information, and reconsider my request for admission. I truly believe that I am someone who will add to the rich diversity and culture at UCLA and will positively influence your campus.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

2

The most detrimental thing on your appeal is your number 1. IMP, telling them that you were not sure about what major you wanted, and what the major was about makes it seem like you did not do any research about your intended major, and probably you dont even know what you want to do. What will assure that you wont change your mind after you get admitted? They want to admit students that perform well but also prepared for their future career. Now, you are telling them that “oops, nevermind, i just gave nursing major a kick, now it didnt work out, lemme switch to another one”. It appears to me that the only reason you are telling this on your appeal is that you want to get in ucla no matter what major. There is nowhere on the letter did you explain how you figured out what you really want to do instead of nursing. You may have thought that this is a trivial thing, but you should focus way more than what you did for number 1. They must be able to see how well you are prepared for the major, how determined you are about the career. Furthermore, if you decide to bet your luck on switching your major, not only do you have to explain about the change, but also have to face the fact that UCLA usually does NOT consider an alternate major. if you decide to keep nursing, it is easier to show them how well you are prepared for the major (since you are not switching around). It doesnt matter what school you go to, please consider what you want to do in the future first.

3

Agree with above ^^^ that the basis for your appeal letter is not a solid basis at all. ULCA does not consider alternate majors, so it is not their fault you selected the major you applied with on the original application. Nothing in this very long appeal letter brings new and compelling information. UCLA also does not consider an applicants level of interest in the school (see common dataset). You are welcome to submit your letter, but do not hold your breath on it being approved.

4

Agree with above. Also, it’s way too long. Why would UCLA care that you’ve always wanted to live in LA (point 6)? In point 7, you talk about how you need to stay in LA after graduation instead of making a case that you could make positive contributions to the community in some unique way.

5

If I deleted the first point completely would that help? I don’t really consider the choice of major as the basis of my appeal but rather talking about my childhood and the court case because I was still really unable to talk about it at the time I submitted my application.

6

Not just delete the first point. You have to cut off some other parts too and focus on How did you prepare for your major, and let them know how much you have researched and learned about your future career. But my point is, still, you are trying to get in UCLA with all cost, and this does not sound good to me at all, you are likely going to regret and struggle with your choice. Now, if you really want an advice, I am going to give you one. Consider going to a local community college for two years, and transfer later. First, you will be able to figure out what you really want to do during taking the GE classes in college. Second, community college prepares you for a smooth transfer to a four year school. Third, you will get priority if you apply as a CCC student. Now, its all up to you. You are an adult now, make a smart choice.

7

I think the personal story is quite compelling and could cause them to reconsider the OP if academics and lack of ECs were the reason he/she were rejected. OP might want to consider talking a little about how the experience affects the way they view/interact with others from the standpoint of bringing additional insight/empathy/experience to the student body, for the holistic part of the equation. E.g. Are you more sympathetic to victims, are you more outspoken, do you feel strongly about social justice causes, are you more motivated politically, etc. UCLA wants an interesting and diverse student body, so use the opportunity to tell them why surviving your horrific experience will make you a valuable member of the community.

I do think that saying something to the effect that UCLA is definitely your top choice and you will attend if accepted is helpful, but the whole dream school section of the letter is overly long. OP mentions having friends at UCLA - consider positioning those friends in your essay as your support system on campus to help you succeed, instead of just saying, “I have friends there”. Maybe reorganize the sections a bit and have a “why I will succeed at UCLA” paragraph, and pull in the points you made in other sections there (e.g. Friends, close proximity to family, etc).

Other than those points on content, I think the overall presentation is a bit wordy. I would suggest the OP do several passes and trim a few words/sentences each time, with the goal of reducing the letter by 20-30% while keeping the core message. And look to tighten up the various points/paragraphs overall, some of which seem to wander a bit.

8

Too long from an indecisive person. There is NO space and you want them to reconsider you from among 100k GREAT candidates?
You are begging without new, compelling information; basically telling them that they made a mistake and should have admitted you just because you want to live in LA.
It doesn’t work that way. They review candidates based on their current needs (Athletes: football players, gymnasts, crew; Musicians: bassists, tuba players, oboists, sculptors; Celebrities, Alumni, etc.), so if you are not fulfilling a need for their fit, and you apply to an impacted major, you don’t get in.
You got into Berkeley, a school in which other students are begging to go to. Why did you apply there if you had no intention of going there?

Begging does not work.

9

Sorry, I was harsh and finally went back to actually read your letter. I am sorry for the traumatic history that you have suffered, that said, the sad stories are a tough read and may detract what you are trying to get across.
I want to point out a statement that will give pause to anyone who reads it:

Indicates that you made it your family’s goal to get into this school, regardless of everything else going on in the family.

10

I like your letter. Some of the above have made some good tactical suggestions, but your letter is striking in its candor and openness. Kiddo, going to Berkeley would not be bad, and there are probably some kids accepted to UCLA who would give anything to have that letter rather than theirs, but I wish you the best of luck.

11

I would go to Berkeley and transfer after my first year.

12

UCLA doesn’t accept sophomore transfers, only junior and up. Not sure if that policy applies to all UCs or not, but I would suspect so.