<p>I was born in China, raised in Japan during my teenage years, and now I call America my home. These unique experiences have exposed me to a multitude of different cultures, beliefs, and ideas. They taught me that the door of opportunity does not always have a welcome mat, nor is it always even open. Therefore, I learned to be hard-working and open-minded in an effort to excel in my studies. I will have completed my last pre-requisite class in spring for UCLA's nursing program, despite a language barrier through hard work and dedication. No matter how difficult the path ahead of me, I will apply the same dedication I have put forth in the past to realize my lifelong dream of becoming a nurse and complete my undergraduate study.
I was born in Shanghai, China under its one child policy. My father abandoned my mother when he found out that I was a girl, since a daughter was considered a burden on the family. Because low wages in China required both parents to raise a child, my mother left the country for better job prospects, and I was raised by my grandparents. Due to my grandparents lack of education, they introduced me to ancient healing practices with superstitious beliefs. For example, they placed green onions around my neck to lower a fever and sprayed vinegar to treat contagious disease. I had never questioned these methods until my grandfather, who raised me died of an unknown cause. He had received poor medical care because quality medical treatment was limited to those who could afford it. I was too young at the time to realize the deep impact his passing would have on my future. After his death, my grandmother did not have the means to raise me by herself, forcing my mother to bring me to Japan to live with her when I turned ten.
In Japan, for the first time in my life, I received quality education and modernized healthcare. There was a yearly physical check up where I would get X-ray photos taken, my blood tested and checked for microscopic parasite using modern medical technologies. When I fell ill at school, a nurse had me rest on a bed then gave me medicine to get better. It was there that I learned nurses are the caregivers to the sick, not the doctors. My desire to become a nurse began to take roots within me, because losing my grandfather propelled me to want to care of my family and others who are in need of medical care. However, the older I grew, I realized my career as a nurse would be forced to end once I was married because Japan lacked equality for women. Men dominated the upper echelon of politics and business, while women were generally expected to leave her job after marriage to support their husband as housewives. It was my lifelong goal to become a nurse and care for the sick, and I refused to let social prejudices get in the way. When my mother and I were given the opportunity to come to the United States, we took it. We knew that in America, a woman has the right to pursue her dreams without the social inequalities and expectations that were deeply rooted in Japanese culture.
My life in the United States was not as easy as I believed it would be. Once I began my studies at College of the Canyons to become a nurse, I became the first person in my family to go to college. My early years of college were difficult because I could not speak English well and needed a job for living. I could not understand the lecture or textbook. Taking exams were more challenging because I could not always understand the questions, nor were professors always willing to explain it. In order to overcome this difficulty, I made a study plan. I reduced the number of courses so I could focus on improving my English. I always carried around an electronic dictionary, and I looked up any word that I did not understand. In addition, I began to read the news in English, watched American television and chose to work as a waitress to improve my communication skills. Now, I can keep up with all my classes and even raise questions freely. Because I was able to overcome this challenge, I believe that I could apply the same kind of effort into studying in UCLAs nursing program and become successful.
To be prepared prior the nursing program, I have taken numerous courses related to the field such as phlebotomy, Emergency Medical Technician and dysrhythmia classes. Moreover, to gain additional experience, I have volunteered at the Henry Mayo Newhall Memorial Hospital. I started at the administration department. Shadowing administrators allowed me to see how the hospital operates. Then, I transferred to the Post-Anesthesia Care Unit, where I was able to assist nurses in their routine tasks. My duties were to deliver specimens, retrieve blood products from the laboratory, stock medical equipments, and record the patients belongings. Nevertheless, my responsibilities as a volunteer were limited, and I wanted a more hands-on experience. After volunteering for over a year, I took a job in the Surgical Department as an Operation Room Instrument Technician to assist critical care nurses and anesthesiologists. My main tasks are to take vitals, transport patients, and perform sterilization for medical equipments. The nurses and anesthesiologist have often allowed me to shadow them to see how treatments are performed. They also allow me to enter the operation room, where I can observe actual surgeries and see real-life applications of what I learned in classes like anatomy, physiology, and microbiology.
If given the opportunity, I would like to pursue my studies at the UCLA School of Nursing. I have visited the campus in person and love its diverse, multicultural environment. UCLA has one of the highest rated nursing programs in the country and it is well known that the school as a whole has an exceptionally high standard when it comes to education. I firmly believe that the highest standards are the absolute requirement, especially for health care. My immersion in many cultures throughout my life has shaped me to be open and understanding of others. Nurses must earn the trust of their patients and by being open to others. I will become a nurse who treats every patient with respect and dignity and take care of them to the highest of my ability because that person could be someones son, daughter, parents, or a grandparent.</p>
<p>It’s good, did you post twice.</p>
<p>yes! I’m kind of freaking out. I just needed some comment. Thank you so much for reading!</p>
<p>It gets to the point, but it’s very cut-and-dry, meaning it may bore an admissions officer. Plus, it’s rather lengthy. I’d suggest focusing on one instance, or point in time, then do a “show don’t tell” method. If you manage to do that, I think you’ll be a lot more tempting for those UCLA admission officers.</p>
<p>Very autobiographical, which is not necessarily a good thing. Follow JoonBug812’s advice. Which part of your life had made the greatest impact on you? Focus on that, and you may occasionally touch briefly on other times of your life; but again, mainly focus on a “point in time”. Keep up the good work.</p>
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<p>THAT. Right there. THAT is what you should write your essay on. About how you were always considered a burden/ the “undesirable” choice. And how you’ve grown to stomp on that box you were placed in, how your self-worth exceeds the worth thrust upon you by even your own family members.</p>
<p>But that’s just my suggestion. I think it would certainly make for a more compelling essay, and leave room for less structure and more voice.</p>
<p>Either way, avoid the “standard essay format.” Right now it reads like an English class “about me” report, rather than a creative, insightful view into who you truly are as a person.</p>
<p>What is the prompt?</p>
<p>It’s pretty prosaic. It needs to be shortened, and some of the more stilted phrases need to be livened. born2dance94 offered good advice.</p>