Being 5 hours away from home, even for a top school with very little debt, makes me uncomfortable. I have a college close to my home that I could attend for free. Idk how to cope with the emotions of starting life somewhere new when no one is forcing me to, even though my aid package to go away is amazing. I’m very involved at home and in my community, and I’ve never dreamed of going away to college. My decision process has me been convincing myself I need to take advantage of this opportunity instead of embracing my feelings. My feelings are a stupid decision academically. I just love home and don’t want to commit myself to being away that far away for four years. Transferring feels stupid too. How do I just go?
@skycolors527 Why don’t you just choose the free close college? What at the two colleges?
There is no rule you need to go away to school! If you have a good option near by, with zero debt, embrace it!
I’ve asked myself since no one is making me, I don’t really want to leave my life behind, and I may come out with the same degree and the same job after it’s all said and done, why am I going? I mean, it’s UVA is the main thing. It’s a new experience. It’s personal growth. It’s opportunity. Why aren’t those good enough reasons to just jump in feet first and not look back? Why is not seeing my family for 8 months a year and restarting my social life (not just friends, but community aspects like church and sports) so important that I would throw away this opportunity? I wish I was excited to go away to college but that is the worst part of this whole thing. I know I will feel differently once I’m used to it, but I don’t want to feel differently. I don’t want to become someone who has moved on from life with the people I care most about.
The majority of college students attend a college close to their homes and commute. That includes all students (older, married, community college) so isn’t the case if you only look at traditional 18 year olds attending college right out of high school, but it isn’t unusual. It is the right choice for a lot of kids, and may be for you too.
What is your local option?
@skycolors527 What is your major? So UVA is the go away school. You should go to the school that you’ll be happiest at. Go to the close school for FREE and then go to grad school if you are comfortable and want to go away then.
The reasons for going away are good…but they will always be there! There’s no reason you have to go NOW. I say stay home, and enjoy your life without the stress. There will be plenty of other times to push yourself. Let me tell you something that I hope will provide you with a model for making your decision: as a parent, I practiced a parenting “method” called attachment parenting. A lot of people misunderstood and thought that it meant always coddling your child, and never allowing them to feel frustration. It didn’t. The way I saw it, and lived it, is that it’s not that you never challenge your child; it’s that you challenge them when they are ready, when they have a reasonable chance of success, when the frustration, fear etc. that they will experience helps them grow rather than crushing them, and causing “damage.” My kids have been pushed into things requiring and spurring growth, and they’re growing well, but they never felt abandoned or were left despondent. And there will naturally, in life, be plenty of opportunities for hard stuff that brings on growth as well; we don’t have to force those on our children or ourselves. Be a “good parent” to yourself, and push yourself when you’re ready. That may be now, or it may be down the road. You can transfer away from home when you’re ready, for graduate school, for a job, or maybe never. And do know that you will be ok no matter your decision.
Best of luck to you.
My local option is UVA Wise. Less majors, probably limited internship opportunities I think just because of the area but I don’t know for sure. I wanna come out of college with a great resume. UVA is cheap enough I probably wouldn’t need loans as long as I work some, so I don’t feel like money is a factor. Idk my major, so being home could limit me in that sense. At this point it’s literally just what would make me happy, and I’m trying to view this decision without all the pressure of it and just think about life. I wish I had a school closer to home, but I literally cannot complain about my options, as both are wonderful in their own ways and I am grateful to be in the position to choose. I just get caught up in the pressure of it in the now sense, I forget that this is a 4 year commitment and then when I remember I’m like crap.
It’s great to think about the fun things in Charlottesville to do and being in a challenging learning environment, plus all the potential benefits of a UVA degree. It’s too good to turn down. I’m about to accept my offer of admission, and I’m having second thoughts because I know this is my life and I’m the one who has to live with what I choose.
Something I suggest would be to look at UVA’s calendar for next year. All colleges seem to have so many breaks. There’s fall break, Thanksgiving break, a month for Christmas, spring break. Plus most schools have parent’s weekend, and you finish school the beginning of May. Add it all together and you will see a lot of your family.
Also, are your HS friends staying home or going away, because if they are going away life at home will be very different than it was in HS. I’m also wondering if you have a significant other that is a consideration in whether you go away or not.
You will survive and get a degree even if you stay home. Just make sure you don’t have any regrets.
If you give yourself a semester or an academic year at UVA you might find you love it. And if you don’t, it’s likely easier to go back home to the local school than it is to transfer to UVA in a year (at least with the same scholarship).
I am a top student so idk why I’m so afraid! This is just a major life change and I’ve had so much pressure on me from my peers and even a professor (taking college classes while in hs) to go. I’ve always been emotional about moving schools and into new parts of my life (middle to hs, hs to college classes most of the day while in hs). This is such a big leap, it’s just hard to do it when I don’t actually have to, but if I was smart I would take the opportunity and never look back. My parents are supportive either way.
Are most of your current friends going away to school? Are they staying home to work? Are they older/younger and already established. This is one thing to think about. Staying home might feel different when you are not in HS anymore, especially if your friends are moving in different directions too.
Like others above have said there is no reason to go away if you are uncomfortable with the idea. Is there an option to transfer to UVA main campus from the WISE program in a year or two if you want to do so then? Or the opposite - if you go to UVA then want to transfer to WISE?
Can you live on campus at WISE? Then you could get the college experience, but be close to home.
It can be a challenge for many students to be away from home.
Go to UVA. If you need counseling to help you through your first semester, get it early.
One thing that helped my sister when my niece went away (niece had no issues, it was her mother) was scheduling the trips to visit her (in Sept) and for niece to come home at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Then they did the same in the spring, and soon the first year was over and it was fine. My niece went to France for the fall her junior year and my sister and family went to Paris for Thanksgiving, they all met up and had a great time. It has now become a family tradition to go to Europe for Thanksgiving (Rome, London, Paris have been on the list).
Take the chance.
I am going to give different advice from the responders above.
You said that you want to come out of college with a great resume. UVA is a world-class university. You will have once-in-a-lifetime opportunities at UVA. You will meet people who will forever be part of your career network. The world will open up to you. It sounds like you’ve led a very happy but sheltered life. There’s nothing wrong with that. But you have to think of your future and the type of person you want to be. If your goal is to live the rest of your life in your home town, marry a local, and work locally, that’s fine, and you don’t need to go to UVA. If you are looking for something different – to have opportunities beyond what your local town can offer – then you need to go to UVA.
Here’s a question: How do you know that everything will remain the same at home? Are any of your your local friends going away to college? Is it possible your friends could move away for career opportunities? Any chance that your pastor could leave and a new pastor come in to your church? Do people move in or out of your town? Things change at home too.
Why would you not see your family for 8 months? I assume UVA is in driving distance. Will you not go home for Thanksgiving or Christmas or spring vacations?
@citymama9 thank you for that suggestion, I should do that. My best friend is in the grade below me and the two people I’m closest with in my current college classes are going to UVA (hence the peer pressure). I don’t have a boyfriend.
You just mentioned that you have a hard time with transitions. My question to you is whether things turn out okay once you get past the difficult transition. For example going from middle school to HS was tough, but what happened after the initial adjustment?
Also, what would the adult skycolors527 say? Would she/he be glad to have turned down UVA?
Life after high school is fluid, not set in stone.
Try the away for one semester. If you don’t like it, come back home. No commitment (as long as you know you can make that work before you head off).
Enjoy the adventure and try new things - even if it only is in short bursts.