unfounded concerns or need to worry?

Parent Cafe
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<p>Actually there are some interesting stats available: Students at less selective schools are more likely to report they've had interactions with people of different races and ethnicities. This is from the National Survey of Student Engagement. This is something to consider and may be a good reason to look seriously at safety schools.</p>

<p>I have no reason why this would be the case, but it may simply reflect the background of the students; perhaps the less selective colleges have more students coming from public high schools with a greater ethnic mix.</p>

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<p>TT, my son, who is white, grew up colorblind. His first school was a Manhattan public for gifted children – a rainbow coalition of brainiac kids – then two international schools in Asia. His high school friends came from allover the world in every color, ethnic and religious combination imaginable. The girls he dated tended to be everything but white but again, he just didn’t notice the distinction, which was lovely. </p>

<p>So . . . when it appeared that the best choice of college for him would be an LAC and when the lure of the outdoors led him to consider the more remote locations, he was very concerned that he’d be losing that diversity factor that he’d grown accustomed to. In an odd way, HE liked being the URM.</p>

<p>In the end, he’s managed to maintain a fine mix of friends. It’s true that the percentage of all-white is greater than the percentage of people of color; however, the groups do intermingle and there’s no social obstacle to making friends across a wide range of types. The small LAC also prides itself on being friendly supportive nurturing. The chance of fitting in and thriving, although not perfect, is reasonably good. The social groups are more likely to be based on interest or propinquity than race.</p>

<p>Diversity – whether it be racial, political, economic, religious, sexual, ethnic – is a major objective at all LACs. At Williams, where my son is a Junior, the entry system helps to mix and match the kids from day one. My son’s a Junior Advisor this year and his group of firstyears is diverse in every possible facet. This is, as you call your hometown perhaps, a pseudo-utopia, but all the same it’s a fun and comforting diversion from the stress of a high pressured academic environment. Of course kids ultimately form their own social groups, but the JA’s are trained to make sure that no one is left out unless they choose to be. </p>

<p>I think one of the biggest challenges facing minority kids (again not just racial minorities) who choose remote colleges is that the surrounding areas tend to be mostly white and socially conservative and once they venture out of the campus bubble they may feel more isolated than they would in an urban environment. For my son, the solution has been to get to New York once or twice a term. After an intense dose of urban energy he’s always delighted and relieved to return to the Williamstown ivory tower.</p>

<p>I’d suggest that your daughter go with the college that attracts her intellectually and socially. Wherever she ends up she will find kids who are like her and kids who are different from her who will welcome her into their social circles.</p>

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<p>I was concerned about how my D would fit into an elite LAC, since she doesn't have the $ or position that 50% of the student body does. So, I posted on the college's website about this situation - and a wonderful young, African-American woman responded and told me that if she could be readily accepted, that my D would be too. She said even in a small LAC there are different groups and eveyone can find their niche. So, please post on the individual LAC's site. D is at the LAC, and has already made friends. She couldn't be happier - Her RC's are African American.</p>

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<p>I (white) went to a primarily white LAC in the 70's where my best friends (to this day) were anything but. If your D is color-blind now, she will remain so in spirit wherever she goes. And we can't guard our kids forever from the group interactions of which we do not approve. But you've raised her beautifully, and she will know exactly what to do wherever she is. Her biggest culture shock is more likely to be urban vs. rural or economic than racial. And I agree, Wesleyan is wonderfully diverse and color-blind (at least the Asian kid with blue hair) and may be a perfect LAC for your D. Good luck!</p>

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<p>TutuTaxi, my brain is addled (in China again) and I posted on the thread about where have all the boys gone and said I thought you were engaging in v. sound mothering. Considering the dating environment is a good idea IMHO. I can't edit posts from here, so my response to you sits in the wrong thread, illogical for all to see:).</p>

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<p>Another resource, if you haven't considered it already, is the annual ranking of colleges by one of the black magazines (Black Enterprise?). I believe that it is based on responses from African American college students about their experiences. You might just throw such info into the mix and let your daughter establish her own priorities. Perhaps that kind of ranking will be fiftieth on her list of importance, down somewhere around what she thinks of the carpet and blinds in the dorms. Or, perhaps she'll put it higher. She'll establish what its importance is to her thinking, but she'll still have the info.</p>

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<p>Here's a link to Black Enterprise's annual ranking of top colleges for African Americans: <a href="http://www.blackenterprise.com/PageOpen.asp?Source=Pages/TopFiftyColleges.htm%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.blackenterprise.com/PageOpen.asp?Source=Pages/TopFiftyColleges.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

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<p>To all my cyber friends – THANK YOU! :)</p>

<p>What I’m hearing is to “let D decide.” Neanderthal (aka H) and I agree the decision must be D’s. Unfortunately, D is blissfully unaware a potential problem exists. She thinks her biggest concerns outside of the classroom will be what to WEAR. At times H and I think we took the wrong child home from the hospital. We are the two most boring people this side of the Mississippi. </p>

<p>Before D can make a decision she has to visit schools – but which schools? We will start seriously looking this spring and probably include rural and suburban LACs as well as small and mid-size Us. I’ll keep you posted.</p>

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<p>Best of luck as your family starts the college search process! Next time you post about concerns involving race, you might want to mention in your subject header something about being African American as that will attract more African American posters to reply.</p>

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<p>Tutu:</p>

<p>From the diversity point of view, Wesleyan would be a great place. It might not appeal to everyone as the students are pretty liberal in their social practices. I don't know what kind of profile your D has, but that might be a great place to put on her "to visit" list. Others are also wise to point out that a greater shock might be the urban/rural distinction. Again, a lot of highly nurturing LACs are not urban; some are not even suburban. The surroundings may be as important as the campus itself.</p>

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<p>I dunno. Deciding what to wear is an exercise in attractiveness. I saw a recent British study that said if you want to make your child more popular, make sure they are well groomed and as attractive as possible.</p>

<p>Conciously or not, your D sounds very savvy.</p>

<p>Mr. Neanderthal is the one I'm worried about ;)</p>

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<p>cheers - I guess that British study explains why the student, who ran for sophomore class president on a campaign platform of mandatory school uniforms, only got 3 votes.</p>

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<p>Exactly. What was he (assumption?) thinking? That is a child who is under the influence of too many adults....LOL.</p>

<p>Old people like CC parents should wear uniforms! To cover the multitude of our decrepit, decades-old vessels. Now there's a party platform for teenagers.</p>

<p>(This morning, a Korean friend asked H if he was warm under his fur).</p>

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<p>curmudgeon wrote:
[Quote]
TuTuTaxi, I think you and I are among the few parents suggesting that "dating" prospects for our daughters is an element of fit in the college search

[/Quote]
</p>

<p>Think again. One of my not so hidden agendas in my D's college search has been to have a strong Jewish presence at the school. This preference is not so much for her religious identity, but to give her a chance to at least meet some Jewish boys. Like the OP's husband, I also didn't want my D to start dating until age 30, but that dream is long gone.</p>