Unhappy freshman

<p>^^^^It’s also a much harder admit, especially for a transfer student. USC takes a lot of transfers from CCs every year. Stanford doesn’t.</p>

<p>Yes it’s more selective school, with an admit rate of under 5% for transfer students. However, it’s not beyond the realm of possibility for a student with a 3.8 GPA at a top university with good ECs that she is passionate about (cheerleader, participating in plays). The transfer thread of this forum includes admits with worse stats.</p>

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<p>I’m someone who would absolutely recommend therapy if needed, and I agree. The student sounds like she is bright and capable but is just unhappy being at that school in that part of the country. Not being happy going to HYP isn’t a condition that requires psychological intervention.</p>

<p>I know a student who went off to one of the HYP schools, made great grades, and joined campus organizations. However, she never felt that she fit in socially. After her freshman year, she came back home to North Carolina, went to community college for another year, and graduated from a state university. She is very well-adjusted, she has a good job, and she enjoyed her three years at CC and at her university. Good for her for admitting early on that she needed to go in another direction.</p>

<p>Before she leaves her Ivy League U, she should do some research. She shouldn’t assume she can tranfer into USC’s film/television program. It is HIGHLY competitive. For that matter, so is UCLA’s, perhaps even more so. I don’t know if they even take transfers. And I wouldn’t diss either one. They both have highly successful graduates and provide lots of connections. My daughter was an intern in human resources at a major television studio where the staff were Bruins, and they favored the applicants from UCLA. I’m sure USC alumni do the same. She could try Chapman University, which is in Orange County- it also has a film program but is less competitive.</p>

<p>If your daughter is at H, she should know that tons of very highly successful Hollywood types studied at H. Having the H connection would open a lot of doors.</p>

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I don’t think that your D will be able to do that and maintain an active social life at any school - or at least any school that would be a good academic fit for someone who is at HYP right now. Changing universities won’t change the underlying issue that you can’t be a straight-A student, cheerleader, actress, AND social butterfly, all while working, too. Period.</p>

<p>Isn’t there some book out about pushing young girls to be perfect overachievers?</p>

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Freshman year: I was attempting to get my engin. degree in three years. (That was stupid.) I was spent first semester dating a controlling whack job who barely let me have time to study and flipped out when I spent time with friends and not with him. (He stalked me after I dumped him, which made the first part of second semester a bit rough.) I made a few friends, no one very close. </p>

<p>My aunt gave me great advice: “Don’t say that you don’t have close friends until you’ve met all five thousand people at your school.” I was an incredibly shy person, but forced myself to meet people and accept social invites. My schedule was still very, very rigourous, but I set aside time for socialising. </p>

<p>Unlike in high school, you don’t interact much with people in class, don’t eat at the same lunch table at the same time every day, etc. There’s a lot of social interaction in high school that happens during the school day; if the rest of your time is taken up with homework, sports, and work, you still get some good social time in. That’s not the case in college.</p>

<p>No matter where your D winds up, she needs to chill the heck out. She simply will not maintain the social life that she wants if she’s getting straight As, doing varsity sports, acting in or directing plays, and working. Really, if she wants a social life, pick two.</p>

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<p>She’s doing it now. There’s no reason to think she can’t keep doing it. There are a surprising number of people who do equivalent things. </p>

<p>I don’t think it’s really about trying to do too much. It’s about going to a college where not a heck of a lot of people bother going to football or basketball games and/or going Greek. She wants a different social atmosphere. She’d probably be happier at a college like Duke–although maybe not since theatre is very weak.</p>

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No, she’s not.</p>

<p>Eh, this kid as described may well be able to do all of that at USC (or Stanford or Duke). OP, did she rush/pledge at her current school? If not, that would be a great way to find folks with a similar social mindset.</p>

<p>A strong sophomore candidate has pretty good odds in USC sorority rush, but it’s too late for the OP’s daughter to enter this fall. She’d be at a real disadvantage rushing as a junior, but that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless.</p>

<p>Op here,
I agree that D’s story seems to have holes in it. This is what prompted me to start this thread. Maybe she is just unhappy and this is more of an emotional decision and maybe she is rationalizing it by discussing weather, Greek life, sports and school spirit. Or maybe it’s just a case of “the grass is always greener.” Maybe it’s purely the weather and the culture. Or maybe it’s because she wanted different roommates, which will change soph yr.</p>

<p>The thing that interests me is that there are many threads about unhappy freshmen. The advice is usually overwhelmingly weighted for the student to stay at his/her current school. Here is an example:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1464645-should-i-transfer.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1464645-should-i-transfer.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Is the difference in our situation because she is already involved in many ECs and still not totally happy?</p>

<p>Wanted to see if anyone knew the answers to these questions:

  1. If D transferred to USC as a Jr and wasn’t totally happy, and if she wanted to transfer back to her first college (“grass is not always greener”), would she go back as a Sr or have to repeat Jr year?
  2. Where would we find out the answer to the following: if she pledged a sorority in soph at her current college, would the same sorority at USC automatically accept her? I’ve heard that USC with a particularly hierarchical sorority system might not take the transfer student, and then the student would be “stuck” without a sorority.
  3. So it’s tough to rush a sorority at USC in Jr year?</p>

<p>She started seeing a therapist. Thanks.</p>

<p>D also revealed that was thinking about not returning to HYP in the fall and attending a cc because kids in cc who get into Phi Theta Kappa (the cc equivalent of PHi beta kappa) can get merit scholarships for their jr transfer to a 4 yr college. After D got accepted SCEA, didn’t apply to other colleges thereby foregoing any possible frosh merit money. At least it makes me realize what she is thinking with the cc option.</p>

<p>USC does offer merit scholarships for transfers, but it doesn’t appear that they are tied to Phi Theta Kappa.</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.usc.edu/admission/undergraduate/private/1314/uscScholarships1314.pdf[/url]”>http://www.usc.edu/admission/undergraduate/private/1314/uscScholarships1314.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Think Jonri’s comments in post #34 hit the nail on the head. It doesn’t make sense that someone that involved in those sorts of EC’s would be that unhappy, unless that student is at a school where the emphasis is on things at the other end of the spectrum. Also I agree with the other posters who say that the weather can have a huge effect on one’s mood. Coming from SoCal to any New England college is going to be rough. Just a very different scene in all respects. </p>

<p>USC is a great school for her major and that transition makes perfect sense to me. But HYP to a CC - not so much. I think she could very well end up being the lone Blue Whale in the proverbial pond.</p>

<p>Also think that the counselor thing may be a bit pre-mature. See how she feels after she has made a decision on her plans for next year. Freshman year is difficult for the majority of students.</p>

<p>The girl is unhappy. Who cares if she’s at HYP? Some of you are so blinded that you think that she “should” or “has” to like HYP. Why do they have to be universally liked? Why can’t people have different tastes? It’s not for her. So transfer and move on.</p>

<p>I think she should do what will make her happy. I know several kids who turned down the ivy leagues to go to a state flagship because they wanted to stay in their environment (we are in FL). I also know extremely bright kids who went to schools for their name/location and are now back home because they just didn’t care for the school. In the long run, having a good experience in college and having the degree is more important then where it came from;)</p>

<p>Make an appt at usc admissions. Pop over there and give your DD a chance to feel the vibes of the people & campus. They will help her design a transfer plan. She then has more info to consider. Once she is admitted ( if she chooses that option) it is possible to transfer to her preferred school within the university. There are many students who turned down hyp/Stanford to attend USC. She will find interesting peers & faculty (some hired away from ivys, UCLA & Stanford). Also consider the usc alumni network. Living in SoCal this is fabulous. Disclaimer: I have 2 Trojan grads & I am a hyp/Stanford grad myself.</p>

<p>“Not being happy going to HYP isn’t a condition that requires psychological intervention.”</p>

<p>I agree that being unhappy at a high reach school is not a psychological “problem.” However, counseling to sort out the confusion, uncertainty, ambivalence she is feeling is ALWAYS helpful. This is not “psychological intervention” and does not mean she has a psychological problem. </p>

<p>So may people think you have to be REALLY depressed, disturbed, etc. to get counseling. Ultimately, counseling is a tool to objectively help clarify difficult decisions in a way that may not be as clear through the help of friends and family.</p>

<p>Strongly recommend having her see a therapist to figure this out.</p>

<p>OP has dated that her DD already started seeing a therapist</p>

<p>I would be careful about making all these transfers, especially after sophomore year, and especially just to be in a sorority. What if she doesn’t get in one? They can be notoriously, well, let’s say, picky. There’s no guarantee as a junior that she will get in one, or even if she gets in one, that it will solve her problems. My D was in one for a year and ended up leaving. She made much better friends through the Snow Team, where she met guys and girls who just loved to ski and didn’t judge her. I think it is harder for transfers to fit in anywhere, at least at the beginning. If she already has friends there, that would help.</p>