<p>My D received the name of her new roommate for freshman year this fall. She sent a brief upbeat e-mail introducing herself and asking about the roommate's interests. She added the roommate as a "friend" on facebook--the friend listing was "accepted" but D has recieved no response to her e-mail in 10 days.On facebook this person says she has a summer job in a store and is hanging around at home. </p>
<p>Should D try again ? phone her? or just wait for orientation and meet her on the spot?</p>
<p>If it was a boy, I'd say it was perhaps a bit of laziness. My son took a couple weeks to respond to his roommate even though he was delighted to get his message. Something may be going on with the girl. or maybe she's traveling and out of touch w/ email. She may eventually respond back; otherwise wait to meet her at orientation.</p>
<p>Our high school grads are all going through strange feelings and emotions this in-between summer.</p>
<p>I had the same situation (except for facebook stuff) and I just found out that she never bothered to check her college e-mail. I got the nerve to call and it was the best decision! We talked for an hour and a half and was worth the effort! I don't see why it would hurt to try and call, I'm really awkward with the phone so I was nervous, but everything came out okay.</p>
<p>I think telephone is a great idea! Not everybody has easy access to email.</p>
<p>I think it is uncertain whether she just hasn't written back or hasn't even seen the email. Some kids haven't made the switch over to their new college email address or check it much yet before college starts and still use their old one, so she may not have checked it yet. The fact that she "accepted" the "friending" on facebook shows some interest as well. Frankly, all kids are interested and some are more outgoing than others. </p>
<p>Your D could leave a message on this girl's "wall" on facebook saying "Hi, I sent you an email to your college account and would love to connect." or something of that sort. She shouldn't write the same content as the email because then everyone who is roomie's facebook friend would see it. Then this girl can check her email or leave a message on your D's "wall." If by chance this girl also isn't checking facebook much or is simply on the shy side, I think your D may wish to call her to say hi, etc. Some are better initiators than others but I am sure any girl is excited about meeting her roomie. </p>
<p>My older D called her roomie when she got the name and the roomie was on a travel trip as a counselor and my D got her mom. The mom was super friendly and had a long talk with my D who is not shy. Then when roomie got back home she contacted my D back and they corresponded some, decided on who was bringing what or what they would get together once on campus. Roomie even sent my D a birthday present (her 18th birthday was right before college started). They hit it off great and in fact, are STILL roomies going into junior year. </p>
<p>So, I would not read too much into the "no response to email" thing because you just don't know the situation....whether it was read or whether she is away or even too shy. Your D sounds willing to take initiative because she wrote first and I think leaving a short message on facebook and/or calling would be appropriate. There is NOTHING to lose. They are going to eventually meet and IF the girl is shy by chance, she'll be grateful that your D took the first step because she wasn't able to do that herself. </p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p>I have a friend whose daughter is in a bit of a bad college situation. She just doesn't want to go - is dreading it in fact. She has the name of her roommate, but as part of her denial thing she is refusing to contact her. I guess I point to this example because it is nothing against the roommate - it is just her own issues. But she is a really great kid. So, take heart. When they meet everything might be just fine.</p>
<p>My daughter is looking forward to college very much, but she's not in any rush to start the engine. She is really enjoying being a high school graduate right now. It only happens once in a lifetime and it doesn't last long. She made one brief contact with her future roommate who responded with an equally brief (but friendly) reply. I think they're both satisfied with that until August, when they'll start seeing each other day and night for the next 9 months. :)</p>
<p>How concerned is your D about this?</p>
<p>I remember that when older S got his roommate info, I was very excited, but he wasn't that interested even though he was looking forward to college. </p>
<p>I also remember that when I got my own info about my college roommate, I eagerly wrote her and waited a long time for a reply. I don't remember if she bothered to reply at all. She later became a lifelong friend, but she was never the type of person to need to get in touch early with people about things like rooming situations.</p>
<p>If your D is concerned, she could always call her roommate. If your D isn't that concerned, she could wait to meet her in person at the college.</p>
<p>If you have the phone number call. You need to work out who brings what Fridge/micro/TV/telephone. </p>
<p>My D's freshman roomate was wonderful and they got on well. Her Sophomore year was a nightmare (it began badly the girl would not talk to her before school started) there were two of everything and she made my D feel like her things were from a junk store and everything she had was from Sacks 5th Ave. At break she ran away to another room with another gal who had bad roomie too. D's roomie was a freshman, from a family with money, she waved it in my D's face. This was an honors dorm.</p>
<p>It made my D a better RA.</p>
<p>Thanks, all of you, D decided to try a little facebook nudge as suggested by soozievt.</p>
<p>my d had a similar thing happen to her -- turned out the roommate had mono and wasn't checking her e-mail for weeks!</p>
<p>Pyewacket, let us know how it goes.</p>
<p>Here's the update: </p>
<p>Within 24 hrs of Facebook nudge, roomie responded, saying that she doesn't really like e-mail -prefers face to face or phone conversation- and also had had an electric failure for a few days due to thunderstorms. She gave a detailed account of her background and interests and D is now confident that there's a real person out there with a basically positive outlook who will be at least a tolerable roommate and could be a good companion.</p>
<p>Good news!</p>
<p>My son has a good friend who also doesn't do electronic stuff. He doesn't IM, or have a cell phone. It's just unusual, but he's a great kid.</p>
<p>Pyewacket:</p>
<p>Great! My S does not seem to do e-mail either. It turns out he keeps in touch through blogs, facebook, etc...</p>
<p>Lots of kids and adults don't keep up with email. Since this girl said that phone was better for her, maybe they can exchange numbers, and your D can offer to give her a call and chat. It sounds as if the girl would welcome that and just didn't do well with emails. Glad they connected at least so far!</p>
<p>Since I've only been able to get glimpses of facebook, I don't understand its allure but I know that has been my daughter's preferred method of communication with her friends this past year. Seems to me that it's the same as e-mail...</p>
<p>I’m glad to read some of these comments re: facebook, etc. My daughter doesn’t even have a facebook. When I inquired as to why, she said it was just another thing that consumes time, and that if anyone wanted to contact her, they could use email. When I suggested that her roommates may be trying to contact her by facebook, she finally decided to email all of them. As it turns out, they were indeed trying to contact her by facebook! Maybe we are just too 1990’s here. Is facebook really THAT popular? Yikes.</p>
<p>When my daughter returns from her trip, she will probably get a facebook. But she really doesn’t seem that interested in dealing with it. I guess there are a fair number of young folks like this.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Is facebook really THAT popular?
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Yes. The San Francisco Chronicle says facebook is the 11th most visited internet site, and counts 8.3 million members in October 2005. </p>
<p>In 2006, Facebook was THE NUMBER 1 most visited site among 18-24 year olds, and had risen to the number 9 most popular site on the internet. (NC State ppt presentation. google it.)</p>
<p>I'm pretty sure I've read that it's moved up to number 7, but I don't have a source.</p>
<p>My eldest daughter will be a junior and I think Face Book is the only way she uses to keep in touch with friends, especially those from high school. Email is now for "business," (ie., emails from relatives and the university). Face Book is also good for making that first connection. My second daughter has enjoyed looking at the various Face Book groups on her campus and it is getting her excited for school.</p>