My oldest daughter is 13. She is going into the 8th grade so I know we have a little bit of time before we really have to make any decisions about anything. I have told her she needs to be thinking about what she would like to do maybe after high school. I would like her to choose some classes in high school that may to apply to what she wants to do in college. She is a honor student and a very smart girl. She came back to me and told me she wants to do musical theatre and dance. She is on the competition dance team at her dance studio. She dreams of working for Disney in some sort.
Needless to say as a parent I am so unsure of her decision. I know that it can change and let me say I hope it does change ( Does that sound horrible?). I just see her getting into a load of debt with no job to pay for it and in the end working 17 hour days like her father to pay her student loans. I do not want that for my child, but I do not want to dash her dreams either. I keep telling her that wanting to pursue dance/theatre is great, but she needs a backup plan. So what kind of careers can she set herself up with a musical theatre major?
I think we all go through this, but there are lots of options where your daughter can study theater and still be prepared for life outside it. Tell her to keep her grades up, so that she will be in competition for top-rated BA/BFA programs like Northwestern, Vassar, Brown, Wesleyan, NYU that emphasis academics alongside theater skills. And breathe…lots can happen between 13 and 18-ish when she makes her decision. (And afterwards, too…)
I understand your concerns. The entertainment industry is tough:) I am having the same concerns for my daughter.
As far as student loans… My daughter is a smart girl as well and is #1 in her class with a very high GPA. We are hoping that she will get a good merit package because she will not qualify for need… we are right on that bubble. 
We are looking at affordable colleges with a MT program, and some of those are not BFA but BA. We have set loan limits. Period. We refuse to go into major college debt. Some of the programs we are looking into we can afford to pay for without loans. My opinion is that it may be better for her to go to a less popular college and graduate debt free, than to go to the best one out there and then have loads of $$ that needs to be paid off. She will have to work hard either way to pursue her dreams regardless of where she attends college.
Her backup plan… She is also going to double major and get her teaching degree to have in her back pocket. The kicker is finding a program that will allow her to double major. She will graduate with 42 hours under her belt, so her basics will be done. She will have to take some summer courses as well, and possibly take longer than 4 years to graduate, and she is ok with that. We are already contacting colleges and seeing if her hours will transfer. Our best bet is to stay in state. So we will choose a college that will take those hours, or most of them. Of course she would love to be at a big name college, but we have to be smart about all of this, and she agrees:) My daughter LOVES to be on stage… but she LOVES to stage manage as well. She just wants to do something, anything theatre related. I think there are quite a few opportunities for those who are willing to work behind the stage as well. I would research jobs for MT degree on google. There are many jobs that just want a degree and sometimes do not care what your degree is in.
My daughter is a smart girl as well and is #1 in her class with a very high GPA. We are hoping that she will get a good merit package because she will not qualify for need… we are right on that bubble.
If MT truly makes your daughter happy, then I say support her!! She is only 13, so there are still many years left of school.
Rest assured that many of us here understand your feelings!
Whatever she ultimately decides to do, let her know that keeping up her grades and pushing herself academically will pay off! Even as an MT, strong academic credentials can mean more college options, either due to extra scholarships or being able to be admitted to academically-selective schools.
Our recent MT grad has been exceptionally lucky to have steady Equity-scale MT work and not need a survival job for a couple years (knocking on wood), but I’m still not sure how she’d be managing if she had a large student debt to pay off. I think you are wise to explore options for minimizing debt if she chooses to pursue this field. As I said above, good grades can help with this, as can talent and training, plus some schools (often the expensive private schools) offer fantastic need-based financial aid. Of course film and TV pay better than stage work, so if she is suited for that it may also be wise to seek some training in those skills.
Best of luck in the coming years!
I can echo @Jkellynh17 's response. One of my biggest regrets was not realizing that theater arts as a profession didn’t necessarily mean starving! I was told my whole life that you can’t really do that. It’s not practical. At college I worked hard to go into theater, at one of the schools mentioned above, but was told over and over: you will never earn a living. Well . . . .now I live in NYC and my neighbors many of them work for the local industry, which is theater. People taking their kids to the bus stop in the morning, our local school bus, they are dancers and the husband does the music and won a Tony. Another mom is one of the stage managers for a show that has three stage managers. Another neighbor is doing costumes for a show. One child of mine attends the famous NYC school for the arts and many of those kids are planning on a career in the theater–or already have started their careers.
Meanwhile I’m doing my very steady, job and I’m not being paid any more than they are.
As a result, when I see that your daughter’s dream is Disney, well there are lots of jobs at Disney. Her dream is a direction. She wants to go in that direction and that’s as far down the road as she can see. Good for her! Disney is a multimillion dollar business (billion dollar?) why can’t she have part of that pie? Other people get a slice . . . why not her? As an exercise to set your mind at ease, google Disney corporation and click on the jobs postings. You will probably see that they have jobs all over the world. The jobs range from dancing and singing on the floats to being their in-house attorney. As an FYI majoring in theater and going into law is a definite path. There are people managing the cruise lines, and the catering, the hotels, the digital animation. Disney has accountants!
Let her dream. Let her develop her passion and her area of expertise. There are so many many branches on that path. She may end up running disney for all we know.
Or she may, as you said, change directions, but in the meanwhile she would have used her passion to learn creative problem solving, management skills, and a thirst for precision and performance.
Can your daughter sing? Act? Can she play a musical instrument? Does she have natural musical aptitude? You’ve come to the right place - there’s a lot of collective experience on this site, but before you start worrying about college programs, grades, tuition etc., you need some objective assessment of your daughter’s abilities. Usually that happens when kids start auditioning for shows.
I’m going to go against the grain a little and say that I don’t think all parents have concerns about his/her child’s decision to study theatre, and so I don’t think it is “needless to say…” I’m sorry if that sounds harsh; if you could hear my tone, you would hear it as gentle and warmly conversational, not hostile or defensive. I have been excited by my D’s decision ever since she made it even though I know that it will be a challenge, I may worry about her financially later (which may happen no matter what she studies), and she may not ever make a ton of money or even have a stable job. (But, then again, she might… 
). I’m a big believer in following one’s passions, as idealistic as that sounds. But, even more importantly, a BA/BFA in theatre teaches one so many valuable skills; many articles have been written about it. For reassurance, you may want to do an online search about it. These desired skills can lead to a career in theatre (in many different capacities), springboard into another profession, or lead to a graduate degree in another field.
Besides, your D is still so young (although my D knew what she wanted to do for just about forever, so I’m not downplaying what she’s saying she wants right now at all–as I said, I’m a big believer in following one’s interests–at all ages). She has so much time to explore, including during high school, college, and beyond.
Also, if your D continues to excel academically, it’s completely possible to graduate without debt and even without a big financial burden during college. My D is doing that–and at a school that has a high list price. (Last year, we only paid a portion of R&B,–tuition was covered by scholarships from the college–and, this year, she will have both tuition and R&B covered by the college.) When your D gets closer to making her college list, you can ask here which schools have the best chance for substantial scholarship money.
Just encourage your D to keep doing well academically, keep working artistically, and go for it!
Check out Mary Anna Dennard’s newer book, called “Before I Got In” – it is for middle school / early HS students and will offer you some good advice. As for student loans, it is possible to get a theatre degree without student loans. My twin sons did with help from us, grandparents and very generous academic scholarships. Other kids go to their in-state school or go to schools that offer in-state tuition even to out-of-state students. Some kids transfer from community college or just go to 2-year conservatory programs. Continue to do your research here and you’ll find that yours is a common and understandable concern, but many families find their way through all of this successfully. My sons just graduated and while they are getting performing work here and there, they still need “day jobs” to support living in NYC. They’re making it happen, just like their friends before them. It’s fun to watch. Best of luck. Try to stay in the moment and not get too far ahead of yourself (I know it’s hard) and enjoy your child and all her performances to come in the near term! Best wishes.
As Jkelly mentioned above- if you are concerned about viability for “other” careers - there are lots of excellent schools with high quality theater programs. And getting a BFA doesn’t mean you are “only” qualified to perform, after all, it’s a college degree. One of my lifelong friends who attended the same college I did was a philosophy major. I am not sure if she has ever found the meaning of life- but she has never had trouble getting a job. Here is an article I have shared with many relatives worried that my D is consigning herself to life as a waitress: https://changeagent.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/2013/09/13/9-ways-a-theatre-degree-trumps-a-business-degree/
I will be brutally honest … I hate hearing “do you have a back up plan?”
No one has ever asked my D’s STEM sister if she had a back up plan if med school doesn’t work out. Not a single one.
I understand why it’s asked - but I think the people that ask (and some people who pursue as well) have this very narrow view of what it is to be successful in MT/The Arts. And that’s a huge mistake. Though my D would love to win a Tony one day (who wouldn’t?) that isn’t her idea of being successful. There are lots of different ways to succeed and earn your living with a degree in MT. Lots.
So no, my D has never had a back up plan. And I don’t want her to have one either - I want her to do what she loves. She’ll find her way.
‘You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.’ Jim Carrey
@KaMaMom I’m right with you. I’m of the school of thought go big or go home. You’ve gotta be all in. Now all in at 17 is much different than 13. Right now if your daughter wants to perform in musical theater she should take dance classes, do shows in her school and community. Take theater classes, sing in a choir. A really good resource would be playbill.edu. Another would be Backstage that will give you an idea what other kind of theater jobs are available other than performing. Good luck in your journey @auttienkassiemom
Thank you everyone for your words. I know a lot can happen between now and when she actually goes to college. I know I seem a little pessimistic. I am trying not to be…I just haven’t been around the world of MT much myself. I am hoping that her high schools year she will get to explore in her MT program at school to see if that is actually what she wants to do. For now she does do dance and she is playing the flute in her school program. Again thanks for all your advice.
I have to agree with just about every viewpoint posted above - especially that studying Arts-related majors doesn’t need a “back-up plan”. A way to pay the bills, yes, but a “back door”?, nope. A back door means you’re planning on cutting your losses when the going gets tough - and the going WILL get tough. Plan for THAT - and how you’re going to over-come it (every time it arises). I also second keeping up with the academics as a way to stay away from student loan debt - with a twist. If she’s a great student and perhaps a good test-taker, I would get private tutoring (if necessary) to make sure she is as prepared as possible for the PSAT she will take in October of her JUNIOR year (That means tutoring as a sophomore or summer afterwards). There are some well-regarded schools that give free rides - or near free - to National Merit Finalists (and is some cases Semi-finalist, Commended, etc). CCM, Wright State, Arizona and Alabama (I think), among others are on that list. (This could be VERY helpful even if she changes her mind and decides to go pre-med). My S will graduate from Wright State w/o paying a penny for tuition, fees or R&B - very useful for saving money to move to the Big Apple.
I would also add that she should get some high-quality acting training. It doesn’t necessarily need to be private, but learning how to act from within herself, rather than just following a director’s orders during rehearsals for a production, will be crucial for getting good responses at auditions - and has the added benefit of making her a more effective lawyer or chairman of Disney’s board of directors should she choose to take a different route.
@myloves, @toowonderful, @KaMaMom and @mom4bwayboy - I agree with you. My S never had anything else he ever wanted to do. I never wanted to mention “back up plan.” Never felt I needed to try to sway him. However, when he was 16 he mentioned what he thought he may want to do if MT didn’t work out. Now that he’s about to start college, he has a goal, plan, etc going forward in MT, TV, FILM, Directing, etc… I’m so proud of him. I think we have to give them time to figure it out!
@auttienkassiemom this may sound like a trivial suggestion but since your D is still younger, tell her ( or you could do it) to like the Humans of Broadway FB page. It is so interesting to read real world / time stories of the people they interview about their experiences. It truly is an interesting read for someone starting to decide about this path
This subject comes up every year around this time. What I always direct folks to is a column on the SUNY-Fredonia website, that talks about the different job skills one gets as a theater major. Things like time management, ability to work under deadlines, creative thinking. All these skills are things employers in various businesses look for. Just as an example, my D has a part time job as a tour guide in the admissions office at her school. And she has found she loves that kind of work. So if for some reason her performing career doesn’t pan out I think she’d be very happy working in college admissions. Her acting and performing skills come in very handy when helping guide prospective students and their parents around campus and through the admissions process!
Your D sounds just like mine was at age 13. My advice is to make sure she does really well in school, because that more than anything will help her get scholarship money. If you have not started yet, start contributing to a 529 savings plan to help pay for college as well. Have someone that understands the musical theater business look at your daughter critically over the next several years and give you a frank appraisal of her chances to be accepted into a MT program (that was the clincher for me in being fully supportive of my D’s path). And don’t worry about what is going to happen ten years from now, and whether she’ll need a backup plan, and soon. There are a whole lot of folks out there making it in the world doing things completely different then what their major was.
Your D sounds like a very smart and talented young lady. Given that and a solid work ethic she’ll do just fine.
My D was a MT major at NYU (BM degree Steinhardt) and is currently considering applying for her MBA. Top MBA programs seem to be taking her application seriously even though she is a applicant with a non-conventional degree. Several of her classmates have also successfully applied for MBA’s and law degrees.
I do believe that going to an academically competitive school helps, as does having a 3.5+ gpa and good jobs/internships in the entertainment field, but at mock interviews and fairs, D has gotten a lot of positive feedback about being a MT major.