Urgently need help with transfer admissions essay for dream school (Texas A&M)

Hello, I am currently a Community College Student at Blinn College and I am planning to start applying to Texas A&M for the Spring 2021 semester and am planning to send my application around this Semester. The prompt for the Texas A&M Transfer Admissions essay will ask me to write about some tough circumstances about my education, as well as to explain some unique experiences involving my academic background. So they are asking to let me know who I am besides what is on my transcripts.

What I want to discuss is that as a kid, I have been struggling with Aspergers Syndrome throughout my childhood and as well as part of my Young Adulthood. In High School, I ended up being severely bullied and suffered depression. That lead me not ending up in a non-mainstream education environment and I was not able to build a strong academic background while I was in High School.

Later as I tried out Community College after High School in the state I grew up in, I built a small circle of friends, and there were people in that circle who took up my time and energy and I struggled with saying no with the demanding people in my friends circle. I ended up in a situation where I struggled managing my time, not being able to sufficiently perform in my classes. I then went to another Community college and took a few classes in Graphic Design. I took some time off from school for a while and worked, including at a non profit organization as an intern.

I then worked at some Football Games at Texas A&M and I started to really fall in love with the campus. Do to my experiences working at sports games, I managed to decide that maybe giving a Second Chance to this School Thing can be possible. So I have been taking a lighter load of classes than most people would (due to an adverse educational background obviously) and so far at my new Community College, the GPA from taking classes there has been at a level of 3.5 to 3.6 GPA so far, versus how I had mostly Cs, Ds and Fs and very rare Bs on my report card at my first Community College.

Also, I have emotionally grown up substantially from those days and learned a lot about self-discipline when it comes to academics, how to advocate for myself in the academic arena, how I best learn as a person, how to pick my classes, when, where and how to study for exams, how to seek help in my classes. Not only that, I have learned how to socially conduct myself and also become a more socially aware person, versus in High School where I was not only a Magnet Of Bullying, buy socially naïve, as well as not having the will to live life and also locked up myself in the bedroom at all times. On top of it, there were times I would be scared to go to school in High School and I would constantly fake sick to avoid going to class due to the fact I was terrified of being a victim of bullying. Now I am a flourishing being who wants to live a normal lifestyle and keep up the growth I have achieved as a person especially. Not only that, these past few years, I have suffered the least depression possible compare to the past years.

What do you think folks? Should I write about all these details I mentioned in my essay and do you guys know any stories similar to mine that have been used for College Admissions essays. If so let me know.
Also let me know if you think I have a shot at my dream school too folks.

I think that you should cover all of these things but from the perspective of “this is how I overcame those obstacles” rather than “I never had a chance because of these obstacles.”

Human nature appreciates perseverance but is turned off by excuses. And please understand that I’m not saying that they’re not valid reasons… it’s just presenting them from the right perspective.

Good way of putting it. Thanks for the valid criticism. I also would like to add that my intent is not to make excuses but to talk about all obstacles overcame. As well as why transferring to Texas A&M would be most helpful for me.

Two things I see here. How many years ago did you graduate from high school? At this point is there a possibility that you are more of a “non-traditional” student?

Also - what do you want to study? Do you have an educational passion? If you are showcasing newfound educational maturity and focus - you should probably have an educational goal vs a university destination goal.

I’m not sure how TAMU handles part time students, but if you are taking less than 15 hours at a community college - it seems like part time might be something to explore.

For one, I am definitely a non traditional student obviously. Two, I decided to look at studying Leadership Studies at Texas A&M (w/ two minors in Business and Economics). I definitely am interested in looking at studying areas like Business and Economics because those educational concentrations will definitely be helpful for the profession I want to go get into. (I can specifically tell you what ideas I have on my mind btw).

I have taken 3 courses per semester max at Community College, but I plan to increase to 4. Maybe 5 can happen. I do not know yet really. I have an educational goal, but I specifically am interested in Texas A&M due to the school spirit and plus one, one my family members works there and I have family in that city on top of it. I really feel like I would enjoy attending that school, versus other campuses in the State of Texas, because an overwhelming amount of students at my community college want to go to Texas A&M.

I would suggest that you do not post future drafts of your essay on this site. In general it is a bad idea to post essays on a blog. The essay could come up on a plagiarism check and/or your ideas can be stolen by another applicant. If you want it reviewed, ask for help and only send it via private message to seasoned adult posters or better yet ask a teacher you trust to look it over.

Ok thanks for the suggestion. Maybe I will probably delete this forum I guess.

Also I hope I won’t jeopardize my chances at my dream school when I need to start applying this Summer after posting this thread. Maybe I should have asked for someone to look over my essay.