<p>The article is an interesting read. Her point on the “red zone” was that it might be easier for a woman to say, “Hey we’re getting into the red zone here” than to say Stop, I changed my mind or just No. I have been thinking about this and not sure that this would be any better. I think,as others suggest, that stronger language is needed than red zone (which is also a term used in football when a team is in a possible scoring position so probably not a good phrase for this usage). </p>
<p>As you said, CF, I too thought what she described would be rape, except it also seemed as if the man thought she was OK with it, and he seemed to think it meant they would have a relationship going forward. . Not clear that he plied her with drinks to get her drunk, or just kept her cup filled at the same time as filling his own. She implied he wasn’t just out for one night, but continued to ask her out. </p>
<p>She said:</p>
<p>I considered him someone between a brute and an oaf, my own experience falling somewhere between assault and just a bad night. I never felt I was a victim;</p>
<p>To me, the essay shows how complex this sometimes is. Another woman, under the same circumstances, may have rightfully felt like she was raped. I got the feeling that this woman felt like she hadn’t made a strong enough statement of refusal. And not clear how she ended up in bed with him after the party, but under current guidelines could certainly be too inebriated to consent. </p>
<p>LF:I am not entirely convinced that it is always in the best interest of young women to consider themselves victims Again, complex and not sure where the line is. </p>
<p>The key is to teach young women to have a voice: not just in this situation but in many. Girls are so far ahead of boys in high school, but somehow that advantage seems to get lost in many situations. Remember the article last year about the experiment at Harvard Business school? Prior to that there was a huge grade gap between men and women, in part because women were not assertive enough in class, which counted for 50% of the grade. My point is that somehow, as the NY times author said, women lose their voices in these situations. Maybe in addition to education about affirmative consent and bystander education, we need to help young women find their voices and speak loudly, firmly and apologetically if they do not consent. </p>