UVa Transfer Essay

<p>And asbuckeye, since i happen to know that you are an albino eskimo dwarf with a 4.0 and an unstoppable outside hook shot, i'd not worry, were i you. :)</p>

<p>"And asbuckeye, since i happen to know that you are an albino eskimo dwarf with a 4.0 and an unstoppable outside hook shot, i'd not worry, were i you. "</p>

<p>Haha, well I heard they're cutting down their quota for people like me.</p>

<p>I would agree with you on the admissions process for the arts and sciences....but remmeber, I have the wonderful 10% acceptance rate for school of arch to deal with. I think the breakdown in my neck of the woods is a little more depressing.</p>

<p>"4.0-3.8, in if not axe murderer or sex offender"</p>

<p>Hahaha, too bad I don't quite make that cut-off. I'll be in the 3.79-2.7 pile and definitely no Mother Theresa. Maybe an A in English Comp and a good rec from the prof will help with my so-so essay. Then again, maybe with the A and rec they would expect to see more writing capability. :(</p>

<p>"Maybe an A in English Comp and a good rec from the prof will help with my so-so essay. Then again, maybe with the A and rec they would expect to see more writing capability. "</p>

<p>Yeah I have an A in english comp too....they're going to see that then my essay and think that I payed some bum to write it for me in 10 minutes.</p>

<p>Well buckeye, you and I seem to be in the same boat, with very similar stats as I recall.</p>

<p>"4.0-3.8, in if not axe murderer or sex offender"</p>

<p>"I don't make that cutoff"</p>

<p>Does that mean you're an axe murderer? 0_o</p>

<p>hey noodle, IntCC here :) how is Cornell?</p>

<p>long story! i'm not there. my wife wanted to stay in virginia. i took a year off and now i'm hoping to go to uva.</p>

<p>how are you? where are you? where are you trying to transfer to?</p>

<p>:)</p>

<p>noodleman what was your GPA when you were accepted?</p>

<p>If I remember correctly, Noodleman, you're a non-traditional student. Right?</p>

<p>Still in FL. Applied to Harvard, Yale, Georgetown (top 3 on my list). Cornell did not give me FinAid so I had to say NO :( Hoping for big things this year... feel free to email me at <a href="mailto:crna.udovica@gmail.com">crna.udovica@gmail.com</a></p>

<p>IntCC</p>

<ol>
<li> Take out both the commas in the first sentence (after the last semicolon)</li>
<li>3rd Sentence second paragraph, take out "i don't know why" and say something like, "I noticed several homeless people...." or something along those lines</li>
<li> "I don’t know why, but I was
surprised to see so many homeless people. This
certainly wasn’t my first encounter with
homeless people. I worked in New York City and
encounter homeless people every day." - A lil redundant with the phrase "homeless people" and the grammar mistake with the past tense caught earlier.</li>
<li>Nex paragraph first sentence...replace the word person with "man"</li>
<li>"While others were aggressively
panhandling, he was just sitting on a step. His
head was slumped into is hands." Just the sentence structure. Make it....While others were aggressively panhandling, he was just sitting on a step, his head slumped in to his hands BTW..."in to" not "into" common mistake, i used to make it all the time til my english profes got on my ass about it</li>
<li> Next sentence..."pathologist's" change to pathologists</li>
<li> Next sentence...change to..."I could tell he hadn't eaten for days from the way his clothes hung off of his body."</li>
<li> Take out "So" in the begining of the next sentence.</li>
<li>"As i returned to the step..." change to "When I returned to the step..."</li>
<li> Sentence after that...change to..."I searched the entire street, but the famished man was nowhere to be found."</li>
<li> Next paragraph second sentence...change bothered to bothers...passive voice...just a pet peeve of professional readers.</li>
<li> "of the starvation" change to "of starvation"</li>
<li> "My only hope is that..." change to...."I hope that...."</li>
<li> Last paragraph....grammar...sentence fragments.
Reccomendation:
I will have my "best day" whenever I am able to bring about a change in the world. Whether it be by building houses with Habitat for Humanity, or donating millions of dollars to a worthy cause, I'll find satisfaction in the fact that I helped ease human suffering.</li>
</ol>

<p>hmmmm...wow</p>

<p>so what did you write about nahrafsfa?</p>

<p>4.0 (63 credits)</p>

<p>very nontrad. :)</p>

<p>i chose choice c i think? i dunno whichever one was the martin luther king statement!</p>

<ol>
<li>Last paragraph....grammar...sentence fragments.
Reccomendation</li>
</ol>

<p>I think that's "recommendation". ;)</p>

<p>I those the Martin Luther King statement also.</p>

<p>damn i can't ever spell that word right!
that and "committees" :-P</p>

<p>nut anyways...yeah i thought the MLKJ essay was easier to work with personally</p>

<p>I did the best day one.</p>