<p>I don’t see anything strange about it since my daughter also didn’t want to attend either a women’s college or a LAC. Coming from a large-ish hs, she wanted a bigger social environment. She also wanted the possibility of taking graduate level courses in STEM. And since some of her friends are boys she didn’t get the appeal of a women’s college. No mysteries.</p>
<p>I also don’t know why she would want to go to out of state public when she could go in-state, I know it is not as sexy and exciting, but to pay out of state for Penn State, UWisc, UMD when you have SUNY?</p>
<p>I suspect it’s a reputation issue. </p>
<p>As for the women’s colleges, there’s no way to make someone interested who doesn’t want to attend one.</p>
<p>The big unis HAVE alot of appeal to kids. Big 10/Pack 10 =Big sports, vibrant campuses, research opportunities, fraternities and sororities that don’t dominate the campus, great profs and a vibrant social scene and for some great college towns…I can see lots of reasons why a kid would want that. If the parents are willing and able to shell out $40-$50,000+ for a Big school out of state experience I say “go for it.” Most of those big unis love out of state kids because they pay so much and are a clear revenue stream. </p>
<p>Some of them are not a shoe-in, but most would love, love the OP’s kiddo. </p>
<p>We are fully pay, but I wouldn’t pay 20k+/yr more so my kid could have big sports, Greek life, or vibrant social scene.</p>
<p>It’s not just that–it’s the reputation of the schools, as I suggested earlier. UW and UMich are hugely popular with smart east coast kids who want the “classic” college experience AND get a great education.</p>
<p>^^ LOL Oldfort, you skipped right over the research opportunities and great profs…I have to admit I was gun shy of the big unis since I went to an LAC and my older two went to colleges with around 2500 students, but my third just finished his freshman year in the Big 10 and I’ve been quite amazed at the opportunities he’s had and his interactions with profs…as a freshman…in his major. He spent an hour and a half talking to the engineering department head one day at a college with 40,000 students. All the other stuff is just a bonus and what you do when you aren’t in class and at the library. While S3 is instate so it’s $30,000 I’d pay more for the experience he’s had much to my surprise. </p>
<p>My son is interested in big state universities right now with the sports and social scene, and name recognition… Unfortunately our SUNYs don’t do so well that way. I’m paying it for one of my kids right now. Actually, it’s within budget, and a lot of others schools were not. Indiana and Colorado are also good state schools that attract some high stat kids from OOS, and OP’s DD would fit this profile.</p>
<p>Perhaps I missed it in this lengthy thread, but has the OP even said what her daughter is interested in studying? I thought the whole point of this thread was a search for acceptable prestige.</p>
<p>So funny. And from here in suburban CT, SUNY Bing, and Geneseo, and Stonybrook are considered great schools. I guess the grass is always greener…</p>
<p>@cptofthehouse – RE: Indiana. I heard Kelly mentioned a few times this past year….and we are far from Indiana here in CT.</p>
<p>I am just going to say that I think it is dopey to go to out of state public unless it is a lot cheaper or the ranking is a lot higher than our instate. This is someone with Rutgers as an an instate. </p>
<p>I’m so confused. I thought this student was in NY state. In either NY or NJ, her instate public options are fine, and should be included…nothing wrong with including them! </p>
<p>My husband’s colleague has a daughter who went to UIndiana. That’ s where she wanted to go. Did very well in high school, chose it over some more selective school. Loved it , did well there, is working for an IB company now in what is considered a dream job by many. Works too much, too much stress, but if that’s what one wants. She was not in Kelley. </p>
<p>Our budget was such that OOS publics were doable, for the most part. Top priced privates needed some merit money and some loans to swing. But an OOS public was my son’s first choice. He, too, was accepted to some privates but that was what he wanted. I let my kids choose within our price range. My youngest is eyeing Michigan and Pennstate. His stats are very similar to OP’s DD’s. </p>
<p>So some more realistic choices as well as reaches in the mix are called for because without some outstanding reason, this student is highly unlikely to be a pick by some of the more selective schools with lower test scores than so many students in her general grouping. Just common sense. Could happen, yes, but unlikely. But those higher stat kids are not all going to get accepted to those lottery ticket schools either, nor would the OP necessarily if her test scores were higher. It’s just the odds go down with the test scores.</p>
<p>The young woman I mentioned got her reality check when she was deferred by BC EA, and either rejected or deferred from Barnard ED. She was a legacy at both, with heavy connections to BC, (she was turned down ultimately there) and that she did not get accepted early to either got the parents and student looking for other choices not so selective. They saw classmates with higher stats get the same as well. So, yes, it’s good that OP is aware now and can temper expectations. It can be a real slap in the face when one manages to talk oneself into thinking that these highly selective schools are likelihoods instead of true reaches, like they are not likely to happen. </p>
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<p>It isn’t just sports and social scene, but also perceptions they’re either schools of academic last resort, poor campus environments/locations, or particular issues.</p>
<p>Especially if we’re talking academically competitive high schools where the mentality of elite college or bust is strong, especially among the top students who aspire to the most elite colleges possible. </p>
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<p>UConn seemed to have a serious popular following among students in the New England/Mid-Atlantic area back in the mid-'90s interested in sports/spirit and good academics. </p>
<p>One hallmate of a friend attending a private Boston area university who was from Connecticut said he would have attended UConn if they hadn’t rejected him as an in-stater. </p>
<p>A post-college roommate who graduated from an NESCAC college said UConn was his close #2 choice and would have happily gone there if said college rejected him or didn’t give him the generous FA/scholarship package he ended up getting. </p>
<p>Oldfort I am with you. In my community people would prefer to spend $40,000 + on an OOS public school rather than go to Binghamton. For some reason they think it’s more prestigious to spend the extra money. There is nothing wrong with these OOS choices, but in my opinion it is not worth an extra $80,000. I am talking about schools like Indiana, UConn, etc. Again, these are fine schools but they are double the price. I guess the grass is always greener…</p>
<p>The OP stated that her D’s lowest grade was an A-. We do not know how many A-'s she had and we do not know if they were balanced by A+'s. If the UW GPA falls under a 4.0 I am really not convinced there is any mismatch between GPA and test score. I understand that they are upset by the score ( although it’s a very good score) and that is the reason this girl should try the ACT. This girl really needs to get excited about the excellent choices available to her and to stop being caught up in that toxic environment ( her school). </p>
<p>OP this is going to sound harsh and I apologize- I do not mean any disrespect at all. You described your D’s 4.3 GPA as very high, but then you went on to say that in your school kids can get 4.6’s or 4.7’s. I would say that your D’s GPA is excellent and something to absolutely be proud of, but I would call those GPA’s of 4.6 as being " very high." Those may be the kids getting the SAT scores that you feel your D should be getting, and even those high stats kids will most likely be getting a lot of rejections. In our school kids with a 4.3 are not in the top 5% like your D, although they are in the top 10%. I live in a community similar to what you are describing, and I have a very high stats kid, and although she has reach schools on her list, she has plenty of " lower" schools as well such as Binghamton, Delaware, etc. I will be proud of any school she chooses to go to. </p>
<p>OP please do not get caught up in your school’s dynamics. Get your D excited about all the wonderful choices. A happy and emotionally healthy young adult attending the U of Wisconsin ( for example) is something that many parents do not have and would give anything in the world to have it. Keep things in perspective. </p>
<p>OP, mathymom has a great point. This place is extremely helpful but we need a bit more information about your daughter. What are her academic interests? Strengths? Weaknesses? You say you have visited colleges - which ones and what were her reactions to them?</p>
<p>As it is, we’re pretty much just throwing names around based on very little information about your child - her weighted GPA, SAT range and the fact she likes big universities. Based on that, I could say Arizona, Penn State, Florida - pretty much any state except apparently NY, and NJ (or is that disdain limited to NJ residents?). </p>
<p>OP, although some have mocked your D, wanting to choose prestige over other factors, I want to add a personal story of my own from the dark ages. I went to an above average LI HS back in the day, not as good as Great Neck or other “top” schools, but if you were in the top 1-2%, which I was, you could go to an Ivy, which I did attend. I had awards, great scores (NMF), sports, ec’s etc. I got into Cornell, but not HYP, and I went there. I have to say that for the first year I was overwhelmed by academic and social things. I stayed, I graduated, I am an active alum etc. However, for years afterward, I felt that I probably would have been happier somewhere else. Somewhere not as competitive, where I could be a big fish in a small pond. I still feel that I never got to my own personal full potential there. I was above average, went to a decent grad school (but not Ivy) and I was a top student there. I graduated in the top 5% of law school, law review, awards etc. etc. and went on to good jobs. I think I reached my full potential as a student there. From my perspective, I have to say that I can think of a lot of things that went wrong in undergrad, and I was able to avoid those pitfalls in grad school. Lots of top kids go to Cornell, where I have known many, or Princeton, where I also have known more than a few, and they have to get used to being average, or slightly above average, not the top. That is not to say that your D would not do well at Cornell or P if she went there, but just to realize that it is not Lake Woebegone out there. At every top school half the kids are in the bottom half. It is a law of mathematics. Many in the bottom half came from great public HS, privates, parochials etc. Personally, I would have been better off at an LAC or university where I was not just above average, but a top student. I didn’t have anyone to advise me in this way back then, and this lesson is not for everyone. While admissions may be more competitive, people’s feelings about stuff like this remain fairly constant.</p>
<p>I personally think the atmosphere of schools like many of these top suburban schools is sick(and not in a good way the way the kids say it) .(Many privates too.) The designer college shopping is like going out to buy a luxury car or handbag. If you don’t have one, you are not “in”. This is not a good place to be psychologically. At many of the private schools, lots of kids go to the LACs because the college counselors make an effort to inform them of the options, and the experience is a good one for many. This still has a prestige element to it, unfortunately, but it is not mutually assured destruction, as the race for prestige has become for many. We visited many of the LACs in Pennsylvania, where there are many NY and NJ students, who attended good HS, and I think there are many good ones, where bright students attend. Maybe the OP’s D wouldn’t like the size or locale, but I think for most students, the choices are all somewhat of a compromise - size, location etc. being factors, but not necessarily the deciding ones.</p>
<p>We have a neighbor who was initially waitlisted at Vanderbilt and now attending.
She had a 35 ACT , high GPA, captain of one sports team, and lots of volunteer work.
That doesn’t mean that you need a 36 ACT to attend, it just means that it is truly hard to get accepted at any of the very selective schools.</p>
<p>A story from NPR this morning may be helpful to many reading and thinking about this thread, including the OP.
The headline is: Poll: Prestigious Colleges Won’t Make You Happier In Life Or Work
<a href=“Poll: Prestigious Colleges Won't Make You Happier In Life Or Work : The Two-Way : NPR”>Poll: Prestigious Colleges Won't Make You Happier In Life Or Work : The Two-Way : NPR;
<p>OP, I know from experience that it can be painful to come to reckoning with the reality of the college admissions landscape and where our kids sit within that landscape. But it can be done and our kids, bright, hard-working and passionate, just like a gazillion other wonderful kids, can thrive in a variety of places. It’s our job to help them find those places and support them and be happy for them. When we focus on what they are gaining and the wonderful opportunities they have, rather than on some nebulous idea of prestige that they are missing out on, we are all much happier. For me, it continues to be an exercise in separating my own ego from my kids’ accomplishments. Best of luck to you and your daughter. </p>