<p>My dear Mother passed away two years ago. I was her only child.</p>
<p>I have not had one single person ask, or care, what i ate for lunch since she died.</p>
<p>Do my husband and daughter love me? Yes they do.</p>
<p>But my late Mother was the only person in the five decades of my life who cared to hear the exteme details of my day.</p>
<p>I never found it intrusive; I found it soothing.</p>
<p>Other’s mileage may vary.</p>
<p>Maybe I’m delusional (it’s possible, I’m probably in mourning from sending my only child 100s of miles away), but I see checking his MyBama the equivalent of cracking the bedroom door a little to make sure your child is sleeping soundly when they are little. Of course they are still there and still asleep, but as parents, we’re still compelled to crack the door a little just to make sure.</p>
<p>Checking his MyBama account isn’t intrusive, he doesn’t know I check, unless I mention something I see to him. I’m still allowing him to find his own way and standing back and not nagging or controlling (which is difficult since by nature I am a control freak). </p>
<p>I loved having the ability to see his OA schedule and know what he was doing. I’ve seen a couple syllabi sent by his instructors, so I know a little better what his work load is going to be like and the weeks he’ll be busier. I haven’t tried to look at his meal plan, but I like being able to view his BamaCash usage, so I can make sure he has enough money to do laundry or print his assignments without him trying to call me when there is an urgent need and I’m nowhere near a computer to make a deposit.</p>
<p>I could call every day and ask “What are you eating?”, “Who are you eating with?” but that would annoy my son enough that he’d stop answering his phone. Although it may change later when he gets busier and I don’t hear from him for a long time, so far I haven’t called or texted without hearing from him first. One of the biggest parts of college is for the students to learn independence, for them to learn the life skills they need as adults.</p>
<p>But every now and then, as a mom, I need to crack the door just a little and make sure he’s still there and sound asleep…</p>
<p>TXArchitect and JRCSMom-
Very poignant, thank you. As for the cracking the door analogy, it reminded me of my super obsessiveness when my S was born and I would put a mirror under his nose to make sure he was still breathing. I know I’m not the only one. If I’m guilty of anything, I’d rather it be that I love too much, care too much, help too much, than not being around. I think I’m doing ok though. Just texting him in the evening. :-)</p>
<p>That is a good analogy, jrcsmom. It is kind of hard to go cold turkey from some of those efforts. Even the night before we left to take my son to school, he knocked on our bedroom door when he came it at 2am just to let us know he was home. If not, I have a tendency to wake in the middle of the night in a panic if I did not hear him come in. The knocking on our door was never an effort to control his time to come in, or know his every move. It was to prevent that panic. Since he has been at school, I have not awakened in the middle of the night wondering where he is! I did do that when he was at camps during the summer. So I suspect I will do that a few times at some point. </p>
<p>I do not expect him to let us know when he will be in while he is away at school. That is silly. When he is home for break, he will likely resume the same door knocking activity. Again, it is a courtesy. Just like we let him know if we did not plan to be home for dinner and he was on his own. </p>
<p>I also agree with jrcsmom that grilling my son with a million questions when I do have the opportunity to speak with him would decrease the calls and texts I get. Right now, I am being contacted to help with problem solving the little things, and a minor medical issue. I am trying to let him direct the conversation as much as possible, and ask very simple and open questions. Most of our communication has been through texting. </p>
<p>So as “helicopterish” as I may seem to some, this is my only child going off to college. And it is hard to go “cold turkey”.</p>
<p>My boy called last night. Only the second time we have spoken to him. He did his first load of laundry yesterday - - ever - - in his life. Reports are that nothing changed colors. Small victories.</p>
<p>yeah! my son text last weekend that the washers were not that hard to figure out. That was good to know. </p>
<p>He called and asked me to put money on his action card so he could do laundry prior to that. I told him to call me from the laundry room if he had difficulty, and he did not need to.</p>
<p>I was just checking my middle daughter’s MyBama. She’s a UA Early College student and I cannot wait to tell her she’s been selected as an OOS UA Early College Ambassador!! She’ll be working to recruit other students for the UA Early College. Can you tell I’m a little proud of her? 
They made a good choice…Roll Tide!</p>
<p>Congratulations, bamagirls! You are a wonderful ambassador for UA so I can only guess that she takes after her mom!</p>
<p>Thanks, lattelady. I cannot wait for her to read her email! :)</p>
<p>Kudos to your daughter, Bamagirls! She’s starting young!</p>
<p>Bamagirls…</p>
<p>Congrats!</p>
<p>Post that also on the brag thread! </p>
<p>Yay!</p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>Thanks, mom2collegekids. I will as soon as I can find it. I need to learn to search and quote from some of you resident experts!</p>
<p>Yay! to bamagirls D, and rightfully proud momma, too.</p>
<p>Thank, NRDMOM. She is very excited to represent the UA!</p>