Maybe keep an eye the list of schools still accepting applications. Maybe a school like Wofford or College of Charleston would be a better fit?
Still confused about Clemson. You revisited VT. Is VT still in the table? If so why not Clemson? I thought it was her top school and it costs the same as VT.
The neuroscience degree at USC is brand new. I’m assuming they should be better organized this fall. If not, switch to psych and minor in neuroscience.
You could put your foot down and ask she visit either UAlabama OR Miami OH since pretty much everything else either is “wrong” or too expensive. Visiting these could make them more reasonable.
If VTech was marginally too expensive and Clemson is more expensive than VT, then both are too expensive. Cross them out. Keeping them on the list just keeps from winnowing it when you could and it sounds like you want to.
U South Carolina, if you revisit and the major she wants is more developed OR has a clear path (eg., psychology major + neuroscience or cognitive science minor) and is affordable, that’s a possibility.
UNCW Honors would just be a back up in case nothing comes through. You can tell her that if she prefers to take a gap year rather than go to UNCW, she could (it you’re ok with it - I don’t think it’s a great idea but it may relieve some pressure from the decision and having a back up is always a good idea).
There is no perfect school. Every school has drawbacks. Your D has acceptances to some good schools. Clemson’s acceptance rate this year was 36%. It’s also becoming an OOS destination. 48% of last year’s incoming class was OOS/International.
But yes, paying full-cost OOS is usually a non-starter for state flagships. Not many freeze tuition. I did my MBA at South Carolina many years ago. Clemson was a good STEM school then and has gotten better. It seems like there’s still some bias against some southern flagships. Right now they’re probably more competitive than some other state flagships like VT or our flagship, Penn State. The caliber of students has increased…a lot. We have one son at Georgia Tech and the other at FSU.
I sounds like you’ve hit the point a lot parents and kids hit. The thing to do might be to walk away for a week or two and don’t discuss colleges. I’m sure your D is aware of May 1st. We did and it was probably the right move. We also made it clear that our kids could punt if necessary. Take a gap year or go locally for a year and transfer. We also made it clear if they absolutely hated their choice after freshman year they could transfer. It took a lot of pressure off during a stressful time. It never came to that. Good luck.
If you have advising questions reach out to admissions. Join the FB parents pages and ask questions.
Also, when S21 was deciding most schools had online Zoom meetings with student ambassadors, administrators and faculty. It was a fantastic way to interact and ask questions. He probably attended 3-4 for FSU. I think he found his tribe and got the “skinny” how everything really worked.
As adults, we make a mistake when we tell kids things like, “you’ll know when you know,” or “you will feel it when you are there,” or (worst), “college is the best 4 years of your life.”
Sometimes these platitudes are true, but often they aren’t, or in the case of my least favorite (best 4 years), they aren’t immediately. Kids feel badly when they don’t feel what everyone says they will, and they feel the pressure for perfection.
Maybe it is time to change the narrative. She doesn’t have to find a perfect fit. She really doesn’t. Narrow the choices to what you can afford, tell her to make the best choice she can and you will support her in any way she needs. You know that she is the kind of person who can be open and accepting and work hard to make it work, and you also are confident that she is mature enough and your relationship is open enough that if it isn’t working after a year, you will fully support a change.
There really is no perfect choice for anyone. Nothing checks all boxes. Some kids do feel like they “know,” but I bet most don’t. And some kids do think they find their people, love their experience, and are suddenly home on their chosen campus, but most don’t…regardless of what they see on social media.
OP, one other theme I see in this thread that needs to be discussed is the lack of or issues finding the correct resources at these large schools.
It highlights two traits a student needs to thrive at these schools. First is tenacity to keep asking questions until they get an answer. It can take several iterations to find that one person in-the-know.
The second is self advocacy. Nobody is going to search out your D for answers or opportunities. If you think these could be issues it might be wise to reevaluate options.
Honors programs can be very worthwhile at these types of schools.
So I see it’s new. Va Tech has a school for neuro.
One of the neuro experts on here always says one doesn’t need to major in neuro to do neuro. That’s it’s a newly made up major. You can likely search for the comments. I know some are psych based. Some are science based.
Don’t forget - and maybe @CCName1 was alluding to - there is no perfect school. Each year thousands transfer out of dream schools. And those in a school they declared beneath them say wow, I can’t imagine going anywhere else.
Pick one you can afford. Then let it roll.
If U of SC is too new and that’s a concern, pick another.
It’ll likely end up fine and the student will likely change the major anyway !!
A lot of really great advice on here. I agree with letting things sit for a week without any college discussions and then setting a date and time to sit down and hash things out (because May 1st is right around the corner).
If she can’t agree to give any of the OOS schools a chance, then I would take them off the table. No sense in paying $$$ for colleges she’s not the least bit excited about (maybe telling her that you’re officially taking them off the table will spark an interest in one or two).
Tough love parenting, maybe, but I personally would not entertain the community college option. Your D got into a lot of great schools! Many kids would have loved a yes from Clemson or VT, UofSC, etc. She can’t let the rejection from UNC affect her college decision. She has to move on. If it were my child, I would tell her that if she can’t pick one of the OOS state colleges (that you deem affordable “enough”) then she can choose from UNCC or UNCW and commit to attend for a year (I personally would steer her toward UNCW honors) - if she absolutely hates it, then you can discuss transfer options - but my clear message would be that she has go into it with a positive attitude. A negative attitude will result in a fail every single time.
Clearly there’s trepidation with having to make a decision that she’s unsure about but part of transitioning to adulthood is sometimes taking a leap of faith and seeing what happens - and at this point in her life, you’re able and willing to financially support this leap of faith - so what better time for her to take it?!
One last thing- I was reading from @MYOS1634 comment:
If you can afford to, I’d rather invest in visiting UAlabama and/or Miami OH since these two are affordable and visiting would likely change the current “meh” impression your child has -
We live in Tennessee - and my son was all set for Purdue engineering. Spent a week there at camp, was admitted with merit. I couldn’t get him to apply to Alabama up front. Well in our district, there’s a job shadow or college visit day. He had three friends driving to Tuscaloosa and they invited him to go. He went. Came home. His mind changed. For him, the campus was gorgeous - but honestly what sold him was in his own room (in Honors, the dorm is 4 rooms for 4 kids + 2 bathrooms. So when you go, you never know. When you walk the main quad - not look at it from the street but when you walk it, it’s really nice.
My daughter was excited for Miami of Ohio. I thought it was a gorgeous campus - like a large William and Mary. For her it was a bit rural so we didn’t accept the offer. But it was really really nice. If you like Clemson - I mean, it’s similar in “ruralness” A much smaller school of course.
So they’re a little farther but not crazy far. You applied and they’re affordable. You’ve been to the others an don’t love them. So maybe it is worth a jaunt. Both draw lots of OOS kids.
Took a few days break from college talk. Went back to visit Clemson again. Another rainy day BUT this time got a chance to go into a classroom in her major. They do NOT have her 1 choice major at this school so she’d have to settle for major 2 which is just okay. I wasn’t blown over by department. The professor was great but the facilities and program in general were lacking. I had read somewhere on this forum how some buildings were older 70s style inside and musty smelling. I completely understand. Also, I translate this observation into ”perhaps the college doesn’t care much about that department?” Not sure, I need to do more research. With the exception of the newer buildings (business Douthit), the rest (except library) are blah inside. If we were in state I wouldn’t care . . . it’s just a basic college degree. However, we are oos and with an eehhh major and need to justify paying extra $$$. The family vibe is apparent but not sure that it’s worth paying extra money for a school vibe.
BTW in response to above comments - It’s parents that are meh / unsure of the schools. Kid is fine. Still likes all the schools for different reasons.
Still undecided on which school meets most boxes / feels right.
100% there is NO perfect school.
If you can afford it, go to a school that has the major you want. I forget the whole discussion but forgetting Honors, these names are interchangeable.
Va Tech has the neuro school.
Yes there is no perfect school but hopefully the one your student picks will end up providing a fantastic experience.
One is in city. One is in a sizable town. One is in the boonies. Does that matter?
I think you go for where does the student feel most comfortable. I think the placement and all that stuff - it works itself out. All are solid and well recognized names.
In the end, the student will deposit in 3 weeks or less - and go with it and get excited wherever it ends up.
To me it sounds like Va Tech. I say that bcuz it seems like if it’s neuro the other two haven’t impressed. Tech has an entire neuro school.
tsbna44 - thank you
Location doesn’t seem to matter or persuade Kid one way or the other.
We are doing one more visit to U of South Carolina and then decision will have to be made between all colleges
I am so over it! I just keep repeating the simple phrase - “it’s just a basic college degree”
This last college re-visit emphasized that Kid will have to make the best of/take advantage of all that’s offered at any spot ultimately chosen.
No matter where a student goes they have to take advantage. But it’s not ‘these stink - make the best of it.’
All three are solid although and I don’t know, I’f assume give its breadth of offering Va Tech is best for neuro.
All three have great b schools.
Your student can do well at all three.
So look at it from - all 3 are wonderful and the opportunities are there for the taking vs it’s just a basic degree (true but it doesn’t have to be a basic experience).
I love two of the three. She’ll pick the right one for her. And mom :).
I can’t recall - is business her #2 choice? I agree with tsbna - go to a school where she is admitted into the major choice that she wants. I’m not sure how easy it is to change majors at Clemson. My impression from our tour there was that it’s not an easy task to get into one of their restricted/capped programs.
My daughter was also less than enthusiastic about Clemson’s campus. While we didn’t go into the freshman dorms, they didn’t look very appealing from the outside (unless you’re in honors - those were much newer dorms) and the remote location of the campus was a negative for her.