<p>I tried to search for this in the archives, and couldn't find it in the previous posts.</p>
<p>Does it matter if one or both parents tour with a child? We are trying to figure out fall visits now.</p>
<p>Dear Ma2012,</p>
<p>It really depends on your family situation. When we did our visits, the majority of the kids were with both parents. I believe that is the typical situation.</p>
<p>With that being said, I am a divorced parent, and my ex has no contact with my d since she was 2 years old. My mother traveled with us, about 8 schools in 4.5 days. The schools seem very clear that all families are not “traditional”. If cost is an issue, or small children at home, parent working, etc. When you have the opportunity to speak with the interviewer you explain your situation. </p>
<p>Going into the senior year with my d, the school seems more interested that the child has support from the family, not just throwing the kid at bs for the school to handle.</p>
<p>In my d’s case, she was accepted at 5 bs, waitlisted at 1 and not selected at one. It didnt hurt her chances.</p>
<p>If both parents are 100% on-board, then I think the “calmest” one should go. If one is more hesitant, let them go…and get a chance to see how great an opportunity bs is :-). </p>
<p>Good Luck!</p>
<p>Do whatever works for you. Parents have to work - the schools understand that. If even one of you is able to take time off to accompany the child to school visits, that shows your commitment to the boarding school decision. That’s all that’s needed.</p>
<p>Regardless of whether one or both parents go, remember that ALL OF YOU will be observed during the tour, not just the student.</p>
<p>Thanks for the feedback. One of us will have to go on each visit, but we may try to both go (without younger sib) to some. If we can’t both make them all then good to know that is okay too. I have been reading on these forums and saw other comments on how the entire family is observed on a tour. Good to keep in mind.</p>
<p>My husband and I took turns depending on our work schedules. I took DS on our week-long trip to visit east coast schools and my husband covered the trip to Canada and the west coast trip. Some admissions officers asked “where’s the spouse,” I’m assuming to try and determine if both parents were supporting the decision to apply to BS. It made no difference in our case, as DS was accepted at all 4 schools where he applied.</p>
<p>@Alex825Mom: By your “calmest” parent standard, I would have been left at home for all 8 of our visits!!! ;-P.</p>
<p>In the end, my wife and I went to all schools, and our younger daughter came along for many of the trips.</p>
<p>My husband and I traded off all the visits (except one) as we both work, have a dog etc. I would say it was about 50/50 observing other families whether they had one or both parents with them. For revisits - we all went together.</p>
<p>Because of my husband’s work schedule, I took my daughter to some interviews. It was fine.</p>
<p>For child #1, both parents attended every interview. For child #2, we divided and conquered. It didn’t seem to make a bit of difference.</p>
<p>Just to clarify, at every school my daughter applied to, we were BOTH interviewed, separately. And it wasn’t just a Do You Have Any Questions or Concerns sort of thing. Most times it was quite long and had questions that required thought, along the lines of job interview questions. I suggest doing a little prep/research/thinking beforehand. </p>
<p>There were the expected questions as to what are your child’s strengths and weaknesses. Sorry I can’t think of any others at the moment. Some of the questions were difficult especially when part of you is simultaneously trying to analyze the effect your answers will have on the application.</p>
<p>I am a single legal guardian and I used the interviews to explain, for better or worse, some gaps in my daughter’s “resume.” She applied to four, got into two including her first choice, with very good financial aid, so we are happy.</p>
<p>All the schools we toured also interviewed my daughter separately from the parents, EXCEPT Deerfield interviewed all three of us at once, and St. George’s only interviewed her and there was no parent interview. At Episcopal my husband couldn’t make it but it didn’t matter, they were completely understanding. I expect most schools just want to get an idea of the parents’ feeling on boarding and get to know the family behind the applicant.
But get ready for the “where else are you applying” question, no matter what. And wear comfortable shoes.</p>
<p>DH and I weren’t aware of being interviewed at any of the four schools DS applied to. Only after finding CC did I learn that that post student-interview chit-chat was more than just graciousness. None involved sitting down or anything resembling probing questions. I can’t remember specifically a thing we talked about with any of the reps. If those gentle debriefings were parent “interviews”, you could have fooled me. I can’t imagine what kind of prep would be necessary.</p>
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<p>Just to be clear - Deerfield interviews the candidate separately . . . and then brings the parents to give them a chance to ask questions. The parents are not “interviewed.”</p>
<p>Just to be clear about my experience, my D interviewed at four schools. At three of them, after D’s interview, I was taken privately into an office to sit down with the Admission Rep for what felt like an interview. One interview went on for probably half an hour and the Admission Rep was obviously referring to written notes or questions as well as making notes as we went along. The other two Reps also seemed to refer to and make notes during our conversation/interview. </p>
<p>The fourth school was a little different in that we had a very sociable Rep and since it was a gorgeous day, he did “walking interviews” for both my D and myself (separately). He was decidedly warmer and more casual than all the other interviewers. He still asked a lot of probing questions but I don’t recall him taking notes or referring to notes. He shared more about himself than any of the other interviewers.</p>
<p>Perhaps the “parent interview” varies with different schools, different students, etc. Certainly parents don’t HAVE to prepare for their interview. But if you don’t think fast on your feet, you might want to think ahead about your child’s strengths, weaknesses, personality quirks and strengths, how you think they may react to dorm life, how do they respond to a teacher they don’t like, etc. etc.</p>
<p>For the record, D was accepted at two out of the four. Those two schools were the most comprehensive and the most cursory parent interview, for whatever it’s worth (pretty small sample). I have no idea how the schools use the parent interview, I just want to give people a heads up. After our experience, I was surprised to find that some parents encountered only what they considered small talk.</p>
<p>We visited 8 boarding schools and my husband could not accompany us on at least half of the visits, due to work related travel. We found that it made no difference whatsoever that one parent accompanied the applicant - my child had outstanding results from the 5 schools to which applications were submitted.</p>
<p>So when you get the “where else are you applying” question: what if that is the only school your child wants to go to? Her number one choice? Good or bad idea to let them know that? And what is a non-slimy way to say so…</p>
<p>My daughter really wants to go to boarding school and we agree on one. There are very very good day and public schools in our area so we are not choosing boarding school for boarding school’s sake… we are choosing that one school because it fits…</p>
<p>My husband was very supportive of the process behind-the-scenes, but is supremely uncomfortable in situations where he is being asked pointed questions by strangers. We deemed it best that he not accompany “us girls” on the first round. He was just fine on revisit days. Not a single school (of the 14 we visited) asked why he wasn’t there.</p>
<p>If you are not applying anywhere else, let the school know that, of course! And give them an honest, but not bald, take on your reasoning. Schools are looking for “fit” in their incoming classes as much as parents and students are looking for “fit” with their schools.</p>
<p>Great question. I went with D on all 5 visits as my spouse is the homework helper for kids still at home. For the schools, it seemed like a non-issue that only one of us was there (accepted to all) and, I think the continuity of visits helped with my and my d’s comfort level with the application process, and discussions on the car rides.</p>
<p>^^^ @london203 I think you tell them just what you said in this post. Honesty is expected, after all, and you risk sounding . . . less than honest if you say something else. The school wants to factor in which applicants will matriculate if accepted, and often rewards this confirmation of interest. Knowing that you have alternatives, but find them the right fit above all others, is still the name of the game. Hopefully, the full picture of the applicant has the school finding reasons why this kid will add to the class, including those things out of your hands, like geographic diversity. Good luck – we’re in the same boat!</p>