<p>shacherry…Wise, wise words!!!</p>
<p>Thanks to everyone who has posted here or by PM to me! You guys are the best!! shacherry, so my son just said to me “I’d rather get my rejections now than when I am looking for acting jobs.” 
Of course, he’ll get them then, too, but he has a point! Thanks again everyone! We are plowing forward!</p>
<p>Oh and PS I just heard him singing in the shower. Good sign!</p>
<p>Oh Acting720, I feel you. It is so hard to watch our kids work through this. Hard, hard, hard. But they develop so much resiliency and self- assurance. You will be amazed. He only needs one school and he will bring all of himself to whatever school he goes to and take advantage of every opportunity offered him and seek out new opportunities. Our kids are choosing a path that will be filled with rejections. They have way more strength than I have. Rejoice in that strength and have faith. In the end my kid wound up choosing a school that had never been in her top choices over a school that had been her dream school. You just never know. And I think she has had opportunities there she never would have had elsewhere. As Madbean said, it all has a way of working out. We just have to push down our own anxieties (I highly recommend a regimen of yoga, meditation, and red wine) and be their support. Hang in there!</p>
<p>Just saw the update. I think our kids take this much better than we do.</p>
<p>Acting720, I have no other bits of advice to give you. I think those who have posted and have given wonderful suggestions much better than I could. I just want to send you and your son a huge hug. I agree with LeftofPisa, sometimes I think this is much harder on the parents than the kids. Hang in there and throwing TONS of pixie dust your way!!</p>
<p>Acting 720, had we known how hard this is, we would have chosen a path for our kids that was was much more certain. A path that didn’t cause disappointment and heartache. But that’s not who these kids are. These kids are bolder, more confident, more worldly and more ambitious than the average kid. Had they chosen a path where the outcome was guaranteed, they would not be living up to their potential nor have an opportunity to find their true strength. Your son will find his way to exactly where he belongs. On the way he may encounter a rocky road or have to take a path he hadn’t planned, but be he will be all the better for it. Big hugs.</p>
<p>Acting720 - just to respond to the CalArts letter - really? Isn’t that what college is for? To help him achieve artistic growth? Do they only want those who are almost ready for the profession? Am I the only one who finds that statement insulting and brings negative thoughts of the college’s program? Sorry, if they thought he had so much potential that one year of non-college private training would bring him to their “standards” (whatever that means) why wouldn’t they take him on and do it themselves in their own way?</p>
<p>You can feel sad for your son’s rejections or celebrate his two acceptances which is more than MANY high school seniors get in this field. Don’t mean to be harsh but that CalArts letter really turned me sour!</p>
<p>I didn’t have that reaction at all to the CalArts letter. They only have so many spots. Much better to get that letter than just the plain old rejection letter.</p>
<p>amtc, I understand what you are saying and I believe your reaction is totally valid, but I think the only way to look at that letter is positively. It’s not a letter they sent to all applicants, and it’s meant to be encouraging. Very selective programs (Curtis Institute of Music comes to mind) sometimes send special letters of encouragement to applicants they are not able to select, but whom they would genuinely encourage to consider later. Most applicants for CalArts were rejected, but his son received a note of encouragement. Bravo to him.</p>
<p>amtc, that is a great point!! It’s not like the letter was a bad thing, but definitely the only choice right now is to move on.</p>
<p>I am definitely feeling he should make the choice to love the schools that wanted him. My D had to drop 4 reaches out of her consciousness, but had great choices. I know it was a big learning experience for her to turn her head around and invest fully in a non-dream school. But it worked out very well. Keeping an open mind is a very important asset in all of this.</p>
<p>Really in many ways these kids aren’t THAT different from anyone else applying to college - you make your application, maybe have an interview, try to show who you are. Then they make a judgment and you are in, or you’re out. Maybe hearing they almost wanted you is TMI, eh? I do kind of think that’s what the waitlist is for, to be honest.</p>
<p>Acting720, it sounds like your S - and so many of these other kids - are dealing with these ups and downs so well. I’d blow off CalArts at this point; if next year it is calling to him, then he can decide to change his mind, but don’t give it a thought in the meantime. If other schools feel he is ready for their program and they value him how he is now, that is wonderful.</p>
<p>I do think the letter is a positive one, sort of, it’s a “close but no cigar” type letter, but also very egotistical of the school I think. To me it’s a negative reflection of the school, not the student. But as EmmyBet said, move on, go to where you are loved and appreciated.</p>
<p>I’d take some comfort in that letter, too. Why wouldn’t you? </p>
<p>It is incredibly hard to see the rejections - especially if your child gets many because they have applied to lots of schools. I felt similar to acting720 when my D was applying for all of our local scholarships given out through our high school. She applied to about 10 of them - she was at the top of her class, active in the community, all that stuff. And when they read off the winners at graduation - yes, you find out right at the ceremony - she didn’t receive one scholarship. My heart broke a little each time they read off a name. Were those kids any less deserving? Probably not. But with so many attempts - like applications to colleges - I figured she’s at least receive one of these small local scholarships. And unfortunately, it kind of wrecked her graduation day. She moved on, but it still hurts to see your child so disappointed. They are young, and still process some of this stuff as a reflection on themselves. Easy for us to tell them not to, but it’s been awhile since we were 17 or 18.</p>
<p>Marbleheader, funny my older D had the same experience with scholarship day but boy is she excelling in her current college experience and creating many valuable opportunities, I couldn’t be prouder then if she had received one of those $500 awards. It was so hurtful back then. Yes I agree.<br>
Acting720, I do commiserate with you on many levels here because CAlArts was my D’s dream school for 3 years and that NO was a huge blow to her as well. But what I’ve seen is that they are looking for a very unique individual who they see can collaborate across the modalities and take on a certain niche actor. Its a very different program. Heck, there is a graduation video where all the graduates wore superhero costumes rather than caps and gowns. Looks like they want a certain blend of maturity mixed with creativity. If they sent him that kind of letter they really meant it. As I said in PM, my D did not get that letter. If thats the kind of actor he truly wants to be then perhaps he does the gen ed year, trains and reapplies. Finality and resolution are good things but so is determination, destiny and fit.</p>
<p>Having been accepted to CalArts and talking to my future classmates I can definitely say that it is a good thing. Like I said in the CalArts thread, some (if not most) of the people who got accepted are older. I only saw a couple of people who are 17 going on 18. So, that might be it. I don’t know how they pick their students, but it is a very diverse group (everyone has a VERY different background). I believe there is an individual selection, but they are also selecting people to be part of an ensemble, so choosing a varied group of students is also important. That doesn’t mean acting720’s son wouldn’t fit at CalArts.</p>
<p>I am not sure I agree with sending a “oh, so close but not quite there” letter. Sometimes it hurts more than it helps.</p>
<p>One of my D’s friends was accepted to a top-notch, highly competitive program and was waitlisted at her dream school (which is talked about frequently here). Even halfway into her senior year, she didn’t not embrace her totally amazing school because she couldn’t let go of the “if only” mentality of her original dream. A flat out “no” would allowed her to move on with her life.</p>
<p>Hey everyone, Lots of chatter about my S’s letter. Thanks for all the input. I actually never saw it is as a negative letter at all, but a ‘please, keep in touch, we’re interested’ comment. He will likely go to the BFA program he was accepted into and then if he wants to audition for CalArts again next year, I told him to go for it. He did tell me he plans to call and get their feedback. I personally don’t think in this business it ever pays to walk away from anything. I think connections are the most important part of the business. Getting feedback from CalArts and keeping them in tow for a year will only benefit him in the long run, whether he chooses to re-audition in the end or not.</p>
<p>Sounds like the exact right plan to me!</p>
<p>Managed to be out of the house for the drop off in that elusive mailbox of mine
Came home to see it ajar ominously waiting for me to find a Large Envelope.
In it could be just info related to a prior academic acceptance
or ?
Will she please come home to open this before I have to?</p>
<p>ok so its a decent financial award but an artistic no to Wagner.
OK that ferry idea was a little annoying anyhow, movin on…</p>
<p>^^Grrr! I’d be annoyed at that misleading envelope! >:(</p>