<p>This has been a crazy process for theatre applicants: doing research, applying to schools, writing essays, taking tests, setting up auditions, traveling, auditioning/interviewing, waiting for letters, traveling to campuses, waiting to get off wait lists, applying for financial aid, waiting for financial aid, evaluating, reevaluating, and on and on. </p>
<p>My D said to me this morning, "I don't really feel excited to go to college. I don't feel like I'm actually going to leave." </p>
<p>Do any of your kids/you feel that way. It feels like in the midst of all of this preparing, the program/school/education we're preparing for seems like some strange intangible, thing--that the process has been so tedious it makes the point of it all seem a bit unreal. </p>
<p>I know some kids are excited and ready and can't wait. But my D is not anywhere near that. (Maybe it's because that final decision just hasn't been made for us). Anyone else in the same situation?</p>
<p>My D has been desperate to escape high school almost since the start, so while she is likely hiding her natural nervousness, she is very eager to go. As for me, it became more real this morning when I faxed her deposit to Hartt!</p>
<p>I can totally relate to both OddDad and RschMom! Haven’t made a final decision and I’m hoping the process of committing and making that deposit will enable my DC and i to both exhale and enjoy the outcome of this, ahem, intense process, LOL! I think we became so accustomed to the travel and interview schedule that we actually miss it a little bit. Now that’s really crazy, isn’t it? I expect that will soon turn to excitement and expectation once a decision is made. Still doesn’t feel real yet.</p>
<p>We just got back from a fast weekend trip to the school where my son will go this fall, and–although we have been there several times and seen productions, etc.–this visit did make it seem very real. It was so different to walk around campus knowing that he would really be there in August–it’s not just a fantasy now–and when we went to see an evening of student-directed shows (which were great), about ten current students found out who he was and introduced themselves to him. That was HUGE. We looked at dorms, sneaked in and explored the below-stage and classroom areas of the theater, and met some other families of current BFA students. I think now my son can relax a bit and does believe that this is, indeed, very real…but it took awhile! :)</p>
<p>I feel very similar to the way your daughter does ResrchMom. I am ready to go, but I feel that little lack of excitement.</p>
<p>I think the lack of feeling excited, though, is more like contentedness and relaxation – it’s not because I am not happy or totally excited (because I so am!) I think it is just coming off of months and months of anxiety and stress, and that nervous-excited waiting for the mail to come everyday. I have been so on edge throughout this whole process, and I don’t have to feel that way anymore. This auditioning and applying process is so different than the application process all of my non-theatre friends went through, so in comparison I seem less excited, but really I am just relieved and thrilled (and exhausted!) Does that make sense?</p>
<p>So, it seems that making the decision makes it more real. And yes, Aspiring, that makes sense. You can actually relax. My D gave me a wonderful thank you card this weekend to say how much she has appreciated my help throughout this process and that she hadn’t realized until now (that’s it almost over) how much stress we’ve all been under. </p>
<p>I told her not to worry about her feelings that are different then all the seniors she talked to last night in her choir who are so excited and ready to move on–including her best friend because her experience is so different than theirs. She’s been home schooled her whole life and doesn’t have a feeling that she wants to escape high school–and she has friends from ages 14-21 here, and only a very few are graduating and going to college, so she doesn’t have a group that is moving on like she is. She’s actually leaving them behind, and that is going to be hard. Plus they can’t really identify with the new adventure she’s about to embark on. So, I think that’s why it doesn’t feel real, too.</p>
<p>And lightingmom, I know what you mean! I want to go visit some schools and get out of here where we’re waiting and waiting. Visiting was the most fun part of this process.</p>
<p>Times3 you are right about visiting the campus when you know you are going there or when it is down to just a few schools. Sitting in on the classes/rehearsals and meeting future classmates makes it seem more real. </p>
<p>We have one more week of chaos and the true final decision will be made. It is weird acclimating back to “real life” without being gone every weekend, scheduling auditions etc, it does feel strange and will take a while to come down from that. My D is coming on tech week for an upcoming show so she is busy and has not noticed it much at all.</p>
<p>When we went through this process a few years ago, my son was happy finally to know where he was going (and delighted with his chosen school, following a visit)…but at the same time he was somewhat exhausted emotionally, and a bit shell-shocked about having had to turn down two good schools that accepted him.</p>
<p>I was so glad all the waiting and worrying were over, although like other parents I sort of missed the intimacy and high drama of the audition trips.</p>
<p>I"ll admit that it was not an entirely pleasant thing for me when all the paperwork started pouring in from the chosen school. I had just put away/thrown away lots of folders and binders loft over from the audition process, and now somehow I found myself resentful (very temporarily) about the demands of the school! I had been so excited, along with my son, between the time he was accepted and the time he made his choice, but now I would look at envelopes that came from them in the mail, and think “Ugh, that school”!</p>
<p>Maybe I was a little jealous that this school was going to “own” my baby now…and of course be taking away a good chunk of our money at the same time.</p>
<p>By fall when he moved in, though, I was feeling very proud and much, much more positive.</p>
<p>Resrchmom-- D spent last summer in mortal terror of leaving for college. She had always wanted a BFA, she was off to a school she loved, that wasn’t so far from home, she had visited and been warmly welcomed…and she was shaking in her boots. She was holding back tears as we said goodbye, and I promised that I’d be back for a visit in 2 weeks. She said she thought she could wait that long. </p>
<p>Within 3 days she was swept into the energy, the collegiality, the work and friendship and inspiration around her. She sheepishly told me it wouldn’t be a good idea to visit just yet. (Ha! I’ve been once all year!) It’s been the best year of her life, she has made so many good friends and learned so much. But she had to be there in the classes before she could really feel comfortable.</p>
<p>Lately, with sending my deposit in, deciding on a meal plan, and looking at different on-campus housing options, it’s become somewhat more real. But it still doesn’t feel imminent, if that makes sense. I’ve been gunning towards this for so long that it doesn’t seem possible that the time to move forward is actually so close. I’m turning 18 on Sunday, and even that doesn’t seem possible. </p>
<p>I don’t really have ANY nerves right now, to be completely honest. Maybe that’ll come in time, although I doubt it. I’m incredibly excited, but can’t quite wrap my mind around being done with this insane process.</p>
<p>My son is already there…after prom (which is always not nearly as fun as the before and after party), he told me he is ready to move on. He has wonderful friends, that is not the issue, he is just mentally ready. He was just asked to step into a mainstage show at a local theatre and he is happily and willingly giving up all the after parties of graduation for opening night.</p>
<p>These are such interesting stories! My D was in the more “nervous” group - which switched to “incredibly stoked” after she went to orientation weekend in July. She never was terribly sentimental about HS and was very happy for it to end, but surprisingly she turned down a very good part in a play that May/June because she DIDN’T want to miss the end-of-year school activities. I actually was quite surprised by that. But she said she was going to be immersed in theatre soon enough, and this was her last chance to be a part of this experience. I wonder what she feels now, looking back.</p>
<p>D4 spent a very anxious month of April 2012, traveling around and visiting the colleges that were affordable(ish) while we awaited news on a FA appeal at the place she felt was perfect. I think this made her love her number one school even more. During this month she also spent a day attending classes in the school and was in contact with faculty and students there. At the end of the month, her appeal was granted. So, with all the anxious energy spent, she was calmly excited for going away in August (she signed up for an early per-orientation.) I think, as the youngest of four, the idea of leaving was a little easier for her.</p>
<p>I can’t say the same for her parents (sniff).</p>
<p>NJTheatreMom- you captured my sentiments exactly! Beautifully articulated. I’m still reluctant to put away the rolling cart with all the folders! Oy-will I ever be able to throw it all out? Justifying as I better hold on to it for grad achool, LOL!</p>
<p>I’m so done with high school. Each time I visit NYC, it feels like my real home, where I’m SUPPOSED to be. It is torture to sit through classes and walk the halls of HS. Now, I’m filling up my time by designing and buying items for my dorm room. Just something to make the days tick by.</p>
<p>Thanks, Lightingmom. I said I “put away/threw away” folders, but I actually threw very little away that spring! </p>
<p>One school had sent a us such a beautiful folder with the acceptance…including, among other things, a surprisingly generous financial aid offer. It was one of the schools my son did not choose (even though it had been his dream school when he first started the process, before he realized that another school would be another fit).</p>
<p>I’ll admit that it took me about two years before I could finally bring myself to throw that pretty purple folder away!</p>
<p>^McKinster, your story spooks me a little bit! I think this may be where my son is “at”–I want him to make the most of the time he has left in high school and at home, but after he sent in his college deposit, he cleaned his room for the first time in maybe a year, did about 10 loads of laundry, and started picking out what t-shirts he wants to bring to college. He seems to be counting the days! (and seriously, dude, those t-shirts are gonna get dirty again between now and August 20th…oh well). My older kids both worked full-time (one at a sleepaway camp for 8 weeks) during the summers before they left for college, but S3 has these scattered obligations that will make it hard to sustain a real summer job. It could be a long few months…</p>
<p>^^^Oh my gosh Times3-my D did the same thing this weekend. Her room has been a disaster needing to be cleaned after all these audtions and time away but when she cleaned she made boxes of things to sell/get rid of, keep at home and take to college. She also is mentally done with HS and ready to move on. To her the majority of the kids seem young and or immature to her and she is ready to start the next chapter</p>
<p>D is ready to go to college and ready to leave HS but she is enjoying the last moments of her childhood as much as she can. And being that she is a theater/choir/instrumental music kid, there are a lot of things coming up in the next month that it’s going to go by in a blur. I did encourage her to go on a Spring break trip with some friends (and one of their families–all good clean fun) and she is going to prom, possibly without a date this time because she is sick of the same boys she has known for all of these years. Plus she still needs to pull the grades for the last hurrah. She’s had a pretty stellar HS experience, plenty of ups and definitely some downs, but she’s ready. The interesting part is that all of her friends are talking about getting stuff for their dorm rooms and she’s already got hers because she went to CMU’s pre-college program for 6 weeks last summer. So beyond a few little things here and there, she doesn’t need a lot in that way. Now she just need to make a decision and reserve a spot at an orientation! She should have all the information she needs by the end of the weekend.</p>
<p>Great stories everyone! GwenFairfax, I can’t imagine her switching gears as quickly as yours did. It’s wonderful that she’s having a great year. And EmmyBet, I cannot relate at all! My D’s theatre group is her life–not within a school. So, she’s doing every last possible thing she can with them. Just finished Into the Woods, About to open Our Town, and rehearsals immediately begin for Twelfth Night, plus the improv classes . . . In fact, we had an argument today because an ice storm is coming, and I told her that if it starts she has to leave rehearsal. She can’t believe I would ask that of her! Sigh. The closest she’s come to showing that she’s thinking of leaving is that she’s asked if she can have a big coffee machine and one of her favorite mugs from the cupboard. Ha! Ha! :)</p>
Plus she still needs to pull the grades for the last hurrah. She’s had a pretty stellar HS experience, plenty of ups and definitely some downs, but she’s ready. The interesting part is that all of her friends are talking about getting stuff for their dorm rooms and she’s already got hers because she went to CMU’s pre-college program for 6 weeks last summer. So beyond a few little things here and there, she doesn’t need a lot in that way. Now she just need to make a decision and reserve a spot at an orientation! She should have all the information she needs by the end of the weekend.</p>