<p>I am curious about the possibility of having to rescind a commitment due to a waitlist.</p>
<p>Take this scenario:</p>
<ol>
<li>You apply to two D3 Schools, D and Z, and are recruited heavily by both. </li>
<li>School D admits you, and school Z waitlists you. Academics come first at both of these schools, and so nothing was ever guaranteed. </li>
<li>Coach at school Z continues to heavily push for you in admissions, and you stay on the waitlist.</li>
<li>You commit to school D prior to May 1st, and everyone thinks you will be attending that school.</li>
<li>You get into school Z, your first choice, off the wait list... and choose to accept the offer</li>
</ol>
<p>How do you deal with this situation as far as coaches and team-mates?</p>
<p>You should not commit to school D if there is a chance you will leave to school Z… Only thing fair to do is to tell coach of school D that if you get into Z you will be going there… up front. Otherwise your reputation will be hurt in the eyes of the coaches in your sport and in most cases, whatever sport it is, it is a small world. Just my 2 cents…</p>
<p>I agree, do not commit to a school unless you will go there. If coach Z has been pushing as hard as you think and that still didn’t help you get through, what are the realistic chances of getting off the waitlist?</p>
<p>Obviously on a lesser scale, but how would you feel if you asked someone to prom, they said yes, only to come back a week later to say that Johnny asked her out instead so she is turning you down now.</p>
<p>Hard to advise because we don’t really know how much there wsa a commitment before you applied. I’d say it depends on how strong your commitment was initially, what you told the coach, and how strong the coach pulled for you and told you ahead of time what the admission chances were. Normally, for full mutual commitment you’d be expected to apply ED, so that obviously wasn’t the case here. I’m assuming that coach D knew that you also applied elsewhere and has/had to expect that you may go to a different school.
Are finances a consideration?</p>
<p>Are the schools in the same conference? If not, don’t worry about it. If so, I would apologize personally to the coach, thank him or her for their help, and go to my first choice school. Let the coach know as soon as possible;maybe he can get another person off THEIR wait list.</p>
<p>Always go to your first choice school if you can.</p>
<p>No no no, it is not like I committed months ago and then am waiting on a first choice school. The coach knew I was deciding between schools Z and D, and that school Z would be very hard to say no to if given the chance. Z is an academic school; athletic recruitment is very different from that at school D. Finances are not an issue at all.
I committed to school D this past week, and handed in my deposit. If school Z happened, I would go. I also sent in a letter of intent saying I would go if admitted, and I have told the coach at school Z that as well. I know his interest is very genuine.
They do not play in the same conference. I just feel like overall it could be kind of an awkward exchange. Would I call/email and say “Coach D… I have some bad news as far as soccer is concerned… I got off the wailist at school Z and have chosen to attend. Thank you for all you have done and good luck in the coming seasons.” Something like that?</p>
<p>In my opinion unless you have already told coach D there is a possibility you will leave then you are going to be in a bad position. If you committed, you committed… that is not a gray area.</p>
<p>I’m reading it differently. This isn’t like a LOI commitment; it’s just depositing to one school while keeping a spot on the WL at another. This happens all the time with waitlists and it’s an accepted part of the admissions game.</p>
<p>Th only twist here is that athletic recruiting is involved.</p>
<p>It sounds like the OP has been forthright with school D’s coach. I don’t see any problem at all. The only question is how to tell the coach and team members of school D if and when the WL offer materializes.</p>
<p>My advice is to keep things quiet until you learn if you’re offered a spot at school Z. If you aren’t, no need for anyone at D to know you were looking elsewhere.</p>
<p>If you’re offered a spot at Z, then follow fishymom’s advice, dealing with people “as openly and honestly as possible and in a timely manner.”</p>
<p>I am confused as to what exactly the coach at both schools have/are doing for the OP. If they used a slot that is one matter, if they merely orally/or wrote an email to Admissions that they “support” OP that is quite another.</p>
<p>Well, it sounds like no slot was involved. So, as others have said, wait to see whether you’ll get of the waiting list at college Z, then contact coach D as soon as possible and tell him what you suggested.
Quite frankly, it happens all the time, and while the coach may be a little disappointed, it doesn’t sound like you were his super tippy-top recruit who’s now jeopardizing the future of the team No need to feel guilty. Even at the top recruiting level, coaches know that they win some, lose some, and that’s part of the life of a coach.</p>
<p>Agree with beenthere and Sherpa. Coaches drop recruits when someone better comes up-yes, it has been known to happen with “verbal” commits, so why shouldn’t the student. Just be polite and get it over with ASAP if it happens.</p>
<p>what is the problem here? Isn’t it about the best fit for the student-athlete? Coaches make promises, assertions and they lie, so at the end of the day isn’t it about you the student-athlete.</p>
<p>at least that is how revenue sport athletes deal with this situation,when they have the carrot of professional sports hanging in the balance.</p>
<p>No, this has nothing to do with fit. Instead, it is how to deal with the ethical implications of rescinding a commitment/deposit to one school where and athlete was heavily recruited if offered the spot at a first choice school after being waitlisted.</p>
<p>moonman I respect your above post ^^ just the fact you DO care about making a commitment tells me that you will handle it the best way possible.</p>
<p>Moonman,
In some way, you’ve answered your own question. I think that if and when you get into school B, you communicate with Coach at school A and let him know how you’ve wrestled with this decision. Honesty and sincerity will get you far. And it’s nothing a coach hasn’t had to do before. In fact, it may give him a chance to go after his “athlete B” now that there’s a spot open.</p>
<p>It is great that you are wanting to do the right thing. Keep this in mind. My son really liked his recruiting coach, who was also the coach of his position. I think that factored greatly in his decision to “commit” (D3-- no letters of intent, just a deposit). Coach had been telling him there were only X amount of spot for freshmen and they were getting close. A week after he “committed” I happened to google the coach’s name and found out it was just announced that he had accepted a job with an indoor football league. That coach was a BIG part of his decision to attend that school…he ended up not liking the new coach…not liking the school and being very unhappy. I believe his feelings about going there changed when he got the news, he was not as excited…and I wish he had made the decision to un-commit as he had 1-2 other good choices…He ended up at one of them as a transfer. Part of the change in feeling was probably that the coach had to have known he was likely leaving and never mentioned it. You just never know what is REALLY going on…</p>
<p>In the end you need to do what is right for YOU. The coach will find another player, at D3 there are plenty of them (I’m sure in every sport). I would send a polite email and call it a day. The downside is that you have probably lost the chance to transfer if you hate the school you chose…depending on sport. You didn’t sign a letter and as much as you think they loved you (and they may have), they know it is a recruiting game and they probably do have athlete “B” who will be happy to hear from them.</p>
<p>I couldn’t agree anymore with njfootballmom’s post above. Yes, you are in an uncomfortable position, but in the end you have to do what is right for you. It is four years of your life, you are paying a lot of money and you want to be happy. There are no guarantees to being happy, but you have to go with what you know right now. </p>
<p>THis D3 process has been done many thousands of times, and a coaches typically don’t know exactly what they have until tryouts. That is just the way it is. Make the decision, make your deposit, let the coaches know, and be done with it. You’ll feel better moving forward.</p>
No need to feel guilty. Even at the top recruiting level, coaches know that they win some, lose some, and that’s part of the life of a coach.</p>