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<p>Some good advise here for all parents. Even as completely independent adults, there are times in our lives when we depend on our spouse (or good friends) to pick up the slack every now and then. I am perfectly capable of making dr appointments, picking up prescriptions, etc., but sometimes life gets in the way. Knowing when to let someone else step in and help out is also a valuable life skill.</p>
<p>Why didn’t the Disabilities Office steer him in to the Spectrum Support Program on day one? Did they not read even page one of his neuropysch evaluation?</p>
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<p>I am hoping that this program will help him. Part of the challenge will be to get him to use the program to its fullest.</p>
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<p>I am going to get him to sign this for his M and I. At least I think this will allow us to be able to communicate directly with people at the college.</p>
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<p>This has been an issue. I wanted him to get as much help as possible from RIT right at the outset. I think that he thought he could struggle through the courses and make it without having to get any help. I think now that he is accepting that help is needed.</p>
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<p>I will look into this. Thanks.</p>
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<p>I am hoping that we can work with DSO over the next couple of weeks over the phone and maybe use Skype. If I suspect there might be problems, I will arrange for S’s M and I to go up there.</p>
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<p>I think they must do a good job most all of the time with students with additional needs. I agree they will pay attention to the people paying the tuition.</p>
<p>ATD - My use of the phrase “even at the risk of academic performance” was not advocating dumping a kid in the deep end to drown, to allow a student to fail. My point was on the road to self sufficiency there are bumps, stumbles, and skinned knees that may mean a B or C when they may have gotten an A with greater assistance. It’s a balance. They learn what works and that skill now goes forward. Sometimes the lower grade is an acceptable trade off for lessons learned (I’m talking a few lower grades, not all). I wholeheartedly agree there are times to step in and assist. It is a balance. The goal is to move in the direction where it is more and more the exception. It’s obvious you are looking for this balance for your son, and he is striving for this as well. You sound like a great dad. Your son is lucky to know you are in his corner.</p>
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<p>I wanted him to get help at the outset. Unfortunately my concerns fell on deaf ears. He did not believe he needed help or didn’t want to ask for it or didn’t want to be “different”. His M would not back me up (she has more influence over him than I do.) Frustrating.</p>
<p>I think he must have thought he didn’t need help. He always scored high on his standardized tests in high school (he is very smart and shows it when it doesn’t require explaining the answer by writing - yet he did very well with that part of SAT, it’s confusing how that works.) Like others have said here, college is nothing like high school. However, I think we lulled ourselves into thinking he could handle the academics at college.</p>
<p>(Continuing the thought about why S wasn’t enrolled earlier)</p>
<p>We never expected him to fail courses (writing and those courses that required much writing). I saw what was happening last (freshman) year. I figured out he was having trouble and worse he was having trouble figuring out he needed help or what help he needed. I started jumping up and down for him to ask for help because I thought his Asp was behind the problems.</p>
<p>He did start getting in touch with DSO and that is when we sent letters with his diagnosis(-es) from his physician. The suggestions given (meeting with someone from DSO once a week to see how things were going and using the walk-in writing lab), although a start I guess, were not enough for him.</p>
<p>Unfortunately I think he was so stressed that he was almost incapacitated with anxiety (IMO). I so wish he wasn’t going to school so far away so that at least on weekends his M or I would be able to check in on him.</p>
<p>Thanks for everyone’s helpful thoughts. I will probably update over the next couple of weeks once we get more details on what we can get DSO to do.</p>
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This sounds like a reasonable suggestion to me. While never officially diagnosed, I expect that I fall somewhere on the AS spectrum, as I displayed all DSM IV AS criteria while in college and HS. Like the OP’s child, I was an engineering student that found writing challenging, particularly if it was open ended writing, rather than an essay or paper with a clear purpose and method. Someone once made the comment that my open ended writing sounded like Spock’s journal, as it had no emotion/feeling. One of the most successful approaches for me was using college resources to improve writing, such as a free tutoring-type program that sounds a lot like the RIT writing lab. For example, after reading my papers, one of the student assistants asked me a lot of questions about the topic to show what a typical reader was interested in and wanted to see, which helped tremendously. Eventually I fell into a groove where I’d write about the areas where I had the AS extreme interest characteristic. This interest supported a detailed analysis with unique conclusions. When combined with what I had learned from the writing lab, it led to getting A’s on assignments. </p>
<p>This AS extreme interest has been quite helpful throughout college and other areas my life, ultimately leading to creating a successful Internet company about one of my interests. If there was medication that could cure AS, I would choose to instead remain the way I am. Along the same lines, I’ve never felt the need for special accommodations beyond what is available to regular students/persons in college and beyond, and I think being able to function well without special accommodations can be a great asset, particularly after graduating.</p>
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What is causing the anxiety? Does it relate to suddenly being forced to adapt to a completely new routine that is less controlled and predictable? If this is the route of the problem, there are probably ways to tremendously improve things. For example, if the issues stem primarily from the residential aspect of college, he might do better with some residence options than others or better with certain food plans than others (or no plan at all and purchasing at grocery store). It’s difficult to give specific advice without more detail.</p>
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<p>Can you give more information on what you mean by “extreme interest characteristic”? Do you mean you wrote about subjects that interested you?</p>
<p>This is all very interesting. Our high school senior sounds like OP’s son and we’ve been working for years to get him to self-advocate. Struggles with writing impact all of his subjects. Anxiety (not diagnosed) does seem to be a complication of other issues. His GC feels he’s come a long way but we are still worried about his ability to seek out the help he needs in college. RIT is one of the schools he has applied to and so it is good to know what their system is like. I plan to get the diagnostic paperwork to whatever college he goes to but I am planning to do my best NOT to intervene so that he can really feel his own power. </p>
<p>I really like Data10’s suggestions about succeeding in writing by focusing on areas of great interest. Not sure about RIT, but we’re hoping in college our S will find classes where he can write about topics that he really cares about. We’re also trying to help him overcome difficulty writing when given vague or illogical prompts.</p>
<p>Our kids had different chronic conditions. Before the school year started, I scheduled a meeting with the head of the disabilities office in which I, H and our kids attended. We had previously mailed the disabilities office a letter from their MD explaining their condition and the appropriate accommodations she felt would be helpful for them. When we attended the meeting, we talked with the head of disabilities about which accommodations the U could provide and what steps each child had to take to be sure to receive said accommodations. </p>
<p>Basically, it was up to each of the kids to meet with their instructors individually in the 1st week of courses every term, present the letter from the disabilities office stating that they were registered and letting the instructor know what accommodations they would need of those the disabilities office indicated they were eligible for.</p>
<p>My kids chose NOT to inform the instructors most terms, which was OK except for the term when the condition got the better of D one term and caused her to miss a LOT of class and ultimately do very poorly that term.</p>
<p>It is up to the student to take the initiative in college. The disabilities office we worked with offered to help in the event that the instructor was unhelpful or refused to cooperate, but basically expected the student to self-advocate and use the tools of the disabilities office that had been agreed upon.</p>
<p>It is tough as a parent when the student refuses to self-advocate or take the steps outlined to get accommodations, but it is part of being in college. Sorry, I don’t have great answers, but our kids were able to navigate through it all, slowly but surely.</p>
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While not a defining characteristic, it’s common for persons with AS to have a few topics that they are extremely interested in, to a greater extent then typical persons. For example, an AS kid might read everything he can find about dinosaurs, see every related dinosaur movie/TV show he can find, talk about dinosaurs to the point that it annoys the rest of his family, etc. </p>
<p>The Psychology Today article at [What</a> Does It Mean To Have Asperger Syndrome? | Psychology Today](<a href=“http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/aspergers-diary/200804/what-does-it-mean-have-asperger-syndrome]What”>What Does It Mean to Have Asperger Syndrome? | Psychology Today) describes this in more detail stating,</p>
<p>“From a young age, most people with Asperger’s develop a specific “pet subject,” which they will throw all their energy and time into learning. Most frequently, a person with Asperger’s will choose only one at a time (or as many people with Asperger’s will say, it chooses them), and it will become the core of their lives. The special interest often fall in to the areas of science, mathematics, engineering, or mechanics, but there are also many people who develop interests in art, writing, or other creative pursuits.”</p>
<p>Autism.org has has a summary with less personal bias at <a href=“404”>http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/understanding-behaviour/obsessions-repetitive-behaviours-and-routines.aspx</a> stating,</p>
<p>“People with an ASD have many different obsessions but some of the more common ones include computers, trains, historical dates or events, science, or particular TV programmes. Many younger children with an ASD like Thomas the Tank Engine, dinosaurs or particular cartoon characters. Sometimes, people develop obsessions with things like car registration numbers, bus or train timetables, postcodes, traffic lights, numbers, shapes or body parts such as feet or elbows.”</p>
<p>If it is coming ot a point where more has to be done and the DSO and other facilities there are not being able to give the support needed, the best thing to do is to find a private “Tutor” for your son to help him along in doing what he needs to do. Helen Keller did wonders with Ann Sullivan at her side. With your child, it’s not as much of a need, but having a tutor three times a week to start to remind him and accompany him to do some of the things HE is not doing , pattern him into what he should be doing, could be a big help and get him on the right track along with everything else you are doing. You can phase it out as he gets the rhythm.</p>
<p>Whether it’s called housekeeping, tutor, lifestyle coach, social worker, psychologist, a number of my friend who have kids with some issues have hired such help to get and keep them on track. In some cases, it 's a good thing to have the situation, as it gives you an in to provide such aid whereas doing so for a kid who is supposedly neuro typical but has similar problems doesn’t fly as well. I could use someone to guide my own son through things that he has not had the discipline to do.</p>
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<p>OK, this is what I thought you meant. S definitely has extreme interest in two closely related topics. He has had writing courses in which he has had to choose from a list of subjects and unfortunately none of the subjects were things that had his interest. For him though, how interested he is in a subject is only a portion of the obstacle for writing.</p>
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<p>Isn’t that the truth. Vagueness is not good for my S either when it comes to writing assignments.</p>
<p>I am wondering if this Empower program at RIT might be useful for my S. I’m guessing there would be more than one coach working with enrolled students. I guess that could be good or bad.</p>
<p>[EMPOWER</a> | Academic Support Center | RIT](<a href=“http://www.rit.edu/studentaffairs/asc/empower.php]EMPOWER”>http://www.rit.edu/studentaffairs/asc/empower.php)</p>
<p>Between Spectrum and Empower it does seem that RIT offers resources. I think things may have gone wrong because the DOS was not involved initially, and because your son, admirably perhaps, wanted to do things on his own. This scenario is not unusual and, in some ways, will give him increased credibility with DOS if explained. At this point, I have a feeling things can work out really well if you can manage some direct involvement, and your son can accept some level of support. A little catch up is in store, but I’ll bet, if your son uses the help that is available, he will hit his stride. And there is always the private coach option as a transition from parents to independence. Good luck and let us know!</p>