Want to get into an Ivy? You might just regret it

Applying to College
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<p>Many people on this site are overachievers. Sure, we all want to work hard and do well in high school and later college. But do you ever regret how you spent your time? Will you regret it?</p>

<p>Yes its one of those age-old cautionary tales. I wasnt like a lot of people here; I didn't cram all my spare time with going for a 2400 or 5s on 20 AP exams. But this story applies to you guys as well. I'm happy with how much time I spent on my academics. But what I regret most is how much time I spent on my ECs.</p>

<p>I turned down countless chances to hang out with friends, go to parties, see movies, etc. because of competitions, rehearsals, work, tutoring, teaching, judging, and other ECs. Basically, virtually all of my free time was taken up by my ECs. </p>

<p>Many people ask how to get into an Ivy or a prestigious school (often solely because of the prestige). The responses, besides the typical "cure cancer and stop world hunger" are usually about improving academics and ECs. </p>

<p>I did my ECs because I loved to do them, not because I wanted to get into "any prestigious university." Which is, in my opinion, how it should be. However, I got carried away and lost valuable time with friends I'll rarely see anymore. I regret overloading myself with ECs just as those of you who work too hard academically will likely also regret the overload.</p>

<p>Longwinded I know, but what I'm saying is that high school is four valuable years of your life. You only (hopefully) go through high school once. You dont want to graduate with regrets. I know this post is ironic because I did get into the ("prestigious") school of my dreams, but I could've done so without creating so many regrets from high school. Trust me, while acceptance is great, it's bittersweet when you realize how much you lost from your high school experience. Whether overloading academically, extracurricularly, or socially, you will end up regretting it. Balance is key. </p>

<p>If you have a particular school/schools in mind, be wary. Don't let this dream consume or change your life. Don't apply because of prestige ("Chance me for any Ivy"). Go through school how you want and you'll find a college that matches you. Many of you will ignore this post I'm sure. But please consider my words. I've had a friend become suicidal after being rejected from dream schools, I've had a friend start cutting because of the stress and pressure of getting into a "good enough" school. The best school for you is the one you get into. In the end, college is college, regardless of the prestige, location, etc. There's value in both high school and college and you'll regret it if you miss out on living life to the fullest in either. Be happy, hang with friends, work hard, and enjoy life.</p>

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<p>On the other hand… that’s kind of an unfair assessment to make going off your broader point, many people who have the potential to achieve more end up settling at state schools (I’d say perhaps MORE people) who end up feeling like they’ve wasted four years at the end of it.</p>

<p>I have plenty of friends who were among the best students end up going to state schools just to drink all day and feel like they were never challenged. I think very well that it’s not a bad thing to apply because of prestige and while many people talk about how well a school “matches” you, how many people even KNOW how well a school matches them from an hour or two visit to a campus? It’s virtually impossible to know unless you are aiming for something extremely specific you want to do in mind and only that institution does this.</p>

<p>While I agree that some people get carried away, I don’t think that it’s reasonable to advise people to be wary of this, as I think more people end up settling at schools they don’t feel challenged at rather than pushing themselves to achieve more at better schools.</p>

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<p>Well, live for the present as well as the future… dream big and achieve big but never for the wrong reasons. For me, that means not living for the praise and recognition of others… and dear god, please don’t plan for your life to climax at the age of 18 when you receive your college acceptance letters</p>

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<p>This thread deserves a sticky. It’s beyond me how much people are obsessed with prestige/Ivies these days. In the grade below mine, tons of kids slave away 24/7 studying and polishing ECs so they can one day get into Harvard. I know that one day they will regret losing 4 years of their life that they can never get back. </p>

<p>OP, I have similar regrets, but for different reasons. For most of high school, I was a HUGE slacker. Antisocial too. I would seldom talk to people, even my friends, in school. Instead, I would always think about playing video games – they were literally on my mind 24/7. Every day, I would come straight home from school and play games for hours. </p>

<p>Now, I managed to get my act together last year. In the end, like you, I got into my “prestigious” dream school. However, now that high school’s over, I’m regretting the time that I could have spent socializing, going to parties, and making more friends. In a way, my feeling of regret is worse than yours because at least the time you regret not using was spent doing something productive. I could have gotten into my dream school even if I substituted all the time I spent playing video games by partying or socializing instead. I know that it’s time to put high school behind me and be prepared for college (which will be 100x better), I can’t stop but think about what my life in high school would have been like if I had been a more social person instead of an obsessive gamer. </p>

<p>My advice to all high schoolers is:</p>

<p>Have goals in mind, but know the line between ambition and obsession. It’s good to strive towards getting into an elite university, but don’t make that goal completely take over your life. High school may not be the amazing experience that the movies may make it seem to be, but it is still a unique life experience that you will only be able to experience once. Make the most out of it.</p>

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<p>Agreed OP and imsobored!</p>

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<p>If you are healthy, happy, and can pay your bills… what else matters? Can be found at many places other than an Ivy :)</p>

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<p>@lollerpants- While in the “real world” more people get carried away slacking than overworking, on CC I think it’s by far the opposite. However, most of the advice applies to slackers as well. It’s all about the right balance. But I do disagree with you about not finding a college that “matches” or at least has more in common with you than a fancy school with a good reputation. There’s size, financial aid, location, average class size, programs offered, etc. Really, there’s a lot to look for in a college. Prestige shouldn’t be a major factor.</p>

<p>@imsobored- I should’ve included not slacking too much in my post. But in general, people on CC don’t really have to worry about NOT trying hard enough in school. But same message to them: balance.</p>

<p>@ldavis- Exactly what’ I’m getting at!</p>

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<p>Absolutely.</p>

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<p>HS “experience” is over-rated IMO…</p>

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<p>I thought the same thing. Then I realized that maybe I only thought so because I missed out on so much.</p>

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<p>I was the same way in HS. At the end, I realized just how fun HS was and how much more I could have gotten out of it if I stopped thinking about it as just a stepping stone to college. Prestige is relative – someone might have a higher opinion of lower-ranked a school for a myriad of reasons (family went there, for example). Just pick a place where you’ll be happy academically, financially, and socially.</p>

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<p>High school memories always become sweeter the older you get. By the time you get to your 25th reunion, you won’t believe how much fun other people had - mostly because they are making much of it up.</p>

<p>I have kept up with no one from high school. However, there are dozens of friends from my undergraduate years that I still stay in touch with.</p>

<p>Balance is good. Ambition is commendable. Avoid both extremes of idleness and obsession. Enjoy each stage of life.</p>

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<p>Exactly. And if you strive to earn Ivy-level stats in HS, plenty of colleges will pay YOU to attend. You can have your pick of the litter.</p>

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<p>My boyfriend is one of the most intelligent people that I know. He got accepted to Rice, UT-Austin, Colorado School of Mines, etc. Waitlisted at a couple of Ivys, and ended up attending UT in the Turing Scholars Honors Computer Science program. He loved attending school there, felt challenged, served a co-op with NASA and has been working with Microsoft since he graduated. He has never regreted his decision to attend UT above all other schools. </p>

<p>I, on the other hand, focused my high school “experience” soley on being admitted to UT-Austin, and regrettted it during my year there (a lot of personal problems that I do not care to discuss, and generally disliking the “atmosphere” of the school). I have since made a lot of changes, reconsidered my major, earned my Associate of the Arts in Teaching degree, learned about what I really want in a university, and will be transferring this fall to a school that is a much better fit for me (personally and academic-wise). I don’t regret working hard to achieve what I wanted in high school, but I do wish that I had taken more time to learn about myself in order to know what I would be happy with in a university, rather than just aiming for a fairly prestigious public ivy.</p>