Also, I’m a bit baffled about the reasoning behind the med refusal. Will you readdress the issue next week? I’m not very knowledgeable in this area so I won’t speculate.
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I’m so glad you’ve reached out and advocated for yourself. That is definitely a huge step and I’m glad things seem to be coming together for you a bit. I hope that your parents will see the mature and rational decisions you are making and steps you are taking to get support. This will get better. It probably doesn’t feel like it now though and I am sorry you’re hurting.
As a split off this conversation, since many have asked… Most prescribing physicians can offer therapeutic help for depression. Just a GP or a pediatrician. You do not have to see a psychiatrist. While psychiatric evaluation is a huge component in the grand scale of a mental health plan, if anyone is suffering please don’t wait!
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Glad you got the ball rolling. Even though your parents don’t understand it (yet), realize that depression is equally as much of a physical issue as having cardiac or other problems are. In the old days people thought it was nothing because they couldn’t “see” anything. Now we have imaging and blood tests and know it’s real, but not everyone stays current with biological/medical news.
It’s not “you” any more than any other health issue is. You’re doing the right thing. Life gets better when medical issues are cleared up even if it takes a few tries to get it right for your body.
In the meantime, can you find a friend and head out for a walk or jog? The biggest effort is getting started, but those things often help too.
Another proven option that can help is comedy. You can try Dry Bar on YouTube.
These aren’t “instead of” professional help. They’re something you can do now to try to give your mind something positive (similar to a healthy diet).
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update: still sleeping excessively, learned that i got a 47% on a midterm last week. i told the prof everything and he gave me a “sorry, but you already took the test” (which i don’t blame him for!). feeling like i should withdraw and run away (not go back home)
There is such a thing as “medical leave”, which you’d likely qualify for. Unlike withdrawing, it’d erase your grades and would ensure your GPA isn’t damaged by your health this semester.
Email all professors immediately after reading this. Use this template:
Dear Professor …,
I am sorry that I have not been my usual self in class this semester. I do not know whether it’s due to the covid learning situation for the past 2 years or something else, but my mental health is (like full of bullet holes, a real swiss cheese) ← find visual that sounds right to YOU but it’ll help them understand how you’re feeling.
I have been seeking psychiatric help and might need a medical leave. I wanted to let you know that’s why things have not been “up to par” this semester and how sorry I am about it. I am really at the end of my rope and simply cannot do more. I am not even sure I can make it to the end of the semester.
I will keep you updated as to what course of treatment is chosen and whether I’ll remain enrolled.
Thank you very much.
Sincerely,
… …
(Course letters numbers, section/hour)*
Have you gone to the Health Office about “mono” as described above? (Parentologist post, #8)
If not yet, do so.
Go back to the Mental health clinic.
DO NOT try to minimize anything and do not worry about “exagerating”. If need be, bring your first post and read it out aloud to them.
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My freshman officially took a leave of absence this morning. He came home on Monday (again), and we watched him scramble with a group project 2 hours before it was due (he had yet to read the assignment). We then had him pull up his grades, no bueno. He emailed his advisor last night, we had a zoom meeting this morning with her, was advised to take a leave of absence, he would be withdrawn from all of his classes, he can go back in the next 2 years without having to reapply, I think he gets 40% of his tuition back (deadline was the 25th). Trying hard to find him a psychiatrist for an evaluation. Please talk to your parents, a leave of absence is not failing.
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Unfortunately, my school’s policy means if I withdraw today, I don’t get any money back.
But at least you won’t have to worry about tanking your GPA and be miserable, honestly I didn’t even think about the money aspect, it wasn’t even brought up by his advisor, I was on the website.
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Don’t delay in talking to advisors about a medical withdrawal. I also had a child go through this. At the time she withdrew, we had no idea what was wrong with her, it could have been autoimmune, neurological, psychiatric, or something else. It was months of doctors and tests before we had any real answers, and it ended up being a combination of several different things, a perfect storm. If your parents “don’t believe” in mental health issues, sell them on the medical aspects, list all your physical symptoms, fatigue, difficulty focusing, “brain fog”, any fluctuations in weight or appetite? all these things could be symptoms of mental health issues or physical health issues. So if you need to get your parents on board, lean into the physical aspect while still working with your doctors on all aspects. Do what you need to do to get help. Brighter days are ahead for you!
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BTW some of OP’s symptoms are consistent with covid or long covid in young people.
Did you meet with the psychiatrist re: accommodations and treatment? I remember you had a meeting planned for this week.
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Thank you for the suggestions. I told my parents about the physical aspects and they just said I was being a gross POS and all of the physical symptoms would go away if I just ate more meat and took vitamins.
I did and the psychiatrist wouldn’t prescribe me anything although he did get me in touch with the Disabilities Office (which is notoriously bad at my school).
Agreed. I’m not an MD but have experience with dysautonomia and long COVID can be viewed as a form of dysautonomia. It’s dysautonomia awareness month. A cardiologist or neurologist should be able to help if indeed this is what you are dealing with. See an internist, at college or at home.
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Look OP, you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place but I also see that you are the master of excuses as we all are when we don’t want to deal with something hard. You need to act rather than finding excuses not to act. If you don’t make a plan (and it doesn’t have to be the perfect plan) time will make decisions for you. You don’t want that. Talk to your parents and come up with a plan. You need their support but you also need to do what is best for your health. You might lose some money in the process, but you can work to pay your parents off once you figure out what is wrong with you. You need to act.
Edited to add: vitamins and meat are not going to cut it at this point.
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Look, I wish my parents would be okay with me paying them back after graduation. But under NO circumstances will they let me withdraw. I suppose I can fail my classes this semester and then maybe they’ll see the point.
I guess the last bit of logic you could try with your parents would be to compare/contrast the costs of the medical withdrawal vs staying/having poor grades on your transcript.
I don’t think they are going to hear you and help you right now - I am so sorry you are in this situation.
I think you need to figure out who is your advocate right now besides you. Do you have any friends that can help? Anyone at the school who you feel comfortable talking to? Share this thread with them and ask them to help you get into action advocating for you the best you can. I think it is too difficult for you to do alone, given your condition.
I certainly wish I could help! But please do find someone.
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Do your parents respond to authority figures? So it isn’t YOU telling them you need to withdraw- it’s the Dean of Students calling them to explain that the college is recommending/suggesting/needing you to withdraw? These folks are good at exerting their title/gravitas when they need to…
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Keep in mind you don’t need their permission to withdraw.
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Perhaps the argument your parents might understand is that you are doing so poorly in classes that you are jeopardizing your chance for grad school, a top employer hiring you after graduation etc. By getting a medical withdrawal your poor grades this semester will not count against you moving forward. So in essence you want to protect your future.
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