Wanting to Transfer Boarding Schools

<p>Okay, so last year I applied to three boarding schools. I got rejected from my top 2 choices. (Was really surprised by getting rejected from my 1st choice). I got accepted into my safety that my mother FORCED me to apply to. What's really ironic is that I put so much effort into my top choice schools and totally did not care about the safety school. Nevertheless I'm attending the safety school right now. </p>

<p>I knew it wouldn't fit me and I'm not enjoying it too much. As a day student who live 50 min away I'm exhausted and i know my parents are as well. They're sacrificing so much energy to drive me and I hate seeing it especially when I don't even like the school that much. I've tried to enjoy but it's very very hard.</p>

<p>I have made some friends but I feel left out since I'm a day student. There's already and established group of "cool" kids who are all white and the people are so segregated... I can't find anyone who's really like me. When I'm at camp or my old school I had so much friends who were like me and into the same music, fashion, and interests.</p>

<p>I feel so out of place and I kind of hate it. I really want to transfer to another school that I didn't apply to last year but it is much better than my current school with more sports teams. The current school I'm at doesn't allow you to get extremely involved since they have debate at the same time as athletics so I can't participate in both. They restrict you from being in clubs and everything. Although there are clubs they are very limited. Most of the kids in my schools are kids who only do athletics.</p>

<p>However I don't think my mom will let me. I've tried to talk to her about transferring but she keeps on saying that if I'm at a not as highly ranked boarding school than it will be easier for me to do better than others. However I want to be at school with kids that are smart but also interesting. Here the kids are so blatantly good at one thing and one thing only. Most of them at least.</p>

<p>She also says she can't trust me to wake up on my own and live away from home but I really, really, really, want to apply to the other boarding school. I just don't feel that my current school fits me and meets my needs.</p>

<p>Sorry, @junebuggie, but your mom holds all the cards on this one. You need to be having this conversation with her though it sounds like she does not think you are ready for boarding. Nothing we can say here is going to convince your mom unless she wants to join this conversation. However, she knows you and we don’t, so how would we be able to convince her you’re ready to board or that what you’re describing about your current school is true when we don’t even know where you’re at? I don’t think this thread is going to go anywhere you’ll find helpful.</p>

<p>@ChoatieMom I don’t want to disclose any more information about myself so publicly. I get what you mean. I really want to approach about it but she always gets so angry whenever I try to talk to her. She won’t care to understand that I reallly want to at least apply. She also thinks I will do worse if I’m at a more competetive school.</p>

<p>What if you become a boarder at your current school…maybe that will be a compromise…</p>

<p>@london203 even if I become a boarder I’m just not happy with it at all. I wasn’t very excited to start school either since I didn’t want to go there in the first place.</p>

<p>Tough situation…I may agree with your mom that “being a bigger fish in a smaller pond” may be better for you for many reasons. Including possible college matric. BUT (and it’s a big one), you have to enjoy the water in the pond to make it work…</p>

<p>If anything, the strain of commuting 50 minutes each way (with which I’m very familiar) should help make the argument to your parents to try boarding. That’s nearly 2 hours a day you could be doing a sport, connecting with friends, working on music/drama, or following some other passion. Not to mention the gas savings and reduced vehicle wear and tear.</p>

<p>For applicants current and future, junebuggie’s case underscores the importance of being more than fine with going to a “safety”. It might be the only choice you are left with come March 10.</p>

<p>It does seem like last year your mom was on board, so she was able to at least conceive of the idea of boarding. Maybe it would help her come around if you showed you CAN be more independent (figure out how to get up on your own, get ready on time, get yourself to do your homework without her having to bug you-- maybe do a laid of laundry occasionally). This might not only show you can be independent (counteracting at least part of her argument), but also show her how much you really want to go. It actually won’t be easy to suddenly start doing a lot of things on your own, but that IS what has to happen sometime-- whether in BS or college-- so why not try to use that to try and get what you want?</p>

<p>@SevenDad‌ @Daykidmom‌
Just asked my mom if I wake up by myself for the rest of the year if I can apply to a new boarding school.
She said “sure.”!!! She mentioned I’ll have to take the SSAT again. Not sure if I can get the same high score as a did last time because back then I memorized 1000 words, but I think I can do it! I will at least try, and also apply for financial aid. (which I didn’t apply for last year. It seems like a stretch but I want to put my parents at a greater ease). I’m not expecting to get accepted. I’m just doing it so I don’t have any regrets about not applying to more boarding schools.</p>

<p>The awkward thing will be asking my teacher for a recommendation since they will probably wonder why I’m applying to more boarding schools. My English teacher likes me… Not sure about my Math teacher… He is a pretty tough guy so I’m not sure he will give me a stellar recommendation but I’m shooting for the stars.</p>

<p>If you truly memorized those words, they are still yours.</p>

<p>Your parents are on the hook for applying for FA or not, not you.</p>

<p>Thing is people have been telling me that even if I switch from my current school to a better one things won’t be different. My school also has a dress code that is so uncomfortable. The school I want to apply to has a volleyball team and no dress code. </p>

<p>My mother has completely changed her mind. I brought it up again and she is focused on forcing me to go to a school I hate… She said if I don’t like it I can just go back to my public school. Last year she forced me to apply to school I didn’t like. There were only 2 schools I really liked and I had been rejected from them. I wanted to apply to more schools but she didn’t let me.</p>

<p>My child switched schools for 10th grade. Was a boarder at both and the new school is a much better fit. Suggest you prove to your mom that you are responsible before you approach her on this again. Achieving a level of responsibility should not be contingent on her allowing you to board but rather something you have ‘become’.</p>