Now I have another question. Is this registry the same one for the wedding? Of course, I can ask my GF that. That would explain why the items so high priced.
In this day and age, I feel behind the times. Another wedding invitation had a link to Mint. There was a short passage about the how the couple met. Then, under the Travel part, just 2 hotels, but nothing about things to do. However, the registry was lengthy.
My D and SIL created one registry that people used for engagement gifts and wedding gifts.
I have only been aware of couples having one registry for all gift buying purposes/occasions.
There is one registry. I will say, sometimes the couples do add items to the registry after it’s created.
My DD was quite busy when her registry needed to be created. She was thinking she just wouldn’t do one so asked me to do it. I cleared every item with her. She didn’t have a wedding shower. I chose a huge variety of items at many different price points. Some of her guests had more money to spend than others. Her registry did include things like sheets, towels, kitchen items, etc. She didn’t register for dishes if any kind or eating utensils. She didn’t need those. But they did want nice new towels, sheets, knives, salad bowl, everyday glassware, etc. She received most of the things on her registry.
For me it depends on how close we are to the couple getting married and weather we are attending the wedding and/or the shower. It also depends on our finances and what other financial obligations we have at the time.
For relatives and close friends:
If we are invited to the shower and wedding and are attending both: We give gifts for both, but one is usually less expensive or just a check or gift card. We usually never spend $200. And we always go off the registry. Sometimes we’ve split the cost of a large gift with relatives or friends who are also attending.
If we are only invited to or only attending the wedding: we just give one gift from the registry or a check or gift card.
For non-relatives and people we aren’t super close to:
We usually just give one reasonable gift off the registry or a check or giftcard. If we are invited to and attend both the shower and wedding we would buy two nice, but smallish gifts off the registry.
As far as I know, there is only one registry for all wedding related events…though couples do sometimes register at more then one store…
That’s been the case at most weddings I’ve been to. One registry for all events. Though many couples do have registries at multiple stores…
And some registry sites (ex Zola) have goods from a number of different stores on the site.
I was invited to the bridal shower for a wedding recently. Don’t know the bride well enough to gift just anything. I picked a small item from her wedding registry and for the wedding, I picked other more expensive items that fit the theme (all were kitchen aid attachments and the like).
Another friends’ S is getting married next month. Their registry is very small and almost all purchased by now. I think we’ll end up giving them a check or a contribution to their honeymoon fund. I’d still like to get them something that they could use - have been debating about a customized cheeseboard or beer flight.
The registry for son’s wedding next May is through The Knot. So far, they have mostly stuff from Crate and Barrel and a honeymoon fund on it, although it seems like they’re able to add other stores later.
I am looking at a registry for a younger relative right now and it’s just the honeymoon fund. That’s it. I don’t know if I should just do that or call a relative and pick their brain and see if anything else is needed.
I’d say if it’s just the Honeymoon fund that’s probably just what they want. I usually buy from the registry and if everything is all taken from that, then I send a check or a gift card to the store they are registered with. If they just had a honeymoon fund, I contribute to that…some couples don’t really want or need anything else. I love travel, so i love to contribute to the honeymoon fund if there is one…it’s fun to help towards a fun experience! But then again, I like to give experiences as gifts…
Regarding honeymoon funds, if the site charges a% of the gift, it may be better to give the couple a check.
Could be but an online honeymoon fund is also a convenience of sorts and what the couple has indicated they would appreciate . And can keep track of . Usually the couple indicates where they’d like to go.
I just looked at The Knot site to see what they charge. 2.5 per cent charge for honeymoon fund but no taxes or shipping obviously. I would be inclined to just do it online and not worry about a small transaction fee. Or having the couple have to think about checks ( I know, boo hoo, but I’m old and even I don’t like dealing with checks if I can avoid it). But, you also can never go wrong with money!
Imho, it’s hard to go wrong with checks. Most financial places allow you to just take photo of front & back if your check. Even for me, it’s easy-peasy and I’m a dinosaur. I prefer not to contribute to fees and just give the couple the $$$ we want to give, sometimes with a little gift, like a Hawaii-themed kitchen item.
I still remember items that I received for my wedding with fondness. My mom and dad’s friends that we grew up with having over for cards, got us a card table and chairs. My husband and I cherished the things our friends and our parents friends picked out for us. We even liked the stuff that wasn’t our personal taste.
Yes I know I’m an old fuddy duddy but there’s all this transition to wanting cash. I guess I’m wistful for the days of doing a registry and gifts.
Living in the NYC tri-state area, it’s always been just money. We don’t have gift tables, there was the “tacky bag” tradition of the couple going from table to table to pick up cards. Like a lot of moms, my mom had a list of who gave me what in the family, so she could match it when their kids got married (my dad opened up all of our cards and deposited everything when we were on our honeymoon and noted the amount in the cards so we could see it when we read them and sent thank you notes). I’m surprised that more areas haven’t switched to cash gifts since it seems like the northeast over the top weddings seem to be more popular now outside of our region.
I think the trend between wanting cash v having lots on a registry is a result of the ages at which folks now marry and their lifestyle prior to marriage. So many seem to marry at much older ages than was typical for our era. Many have been living independently (and/or together as a couple) for years before they get married. If you’ve set up a home together for 2-5 years before getting married, you likely just don’t need much for your household.
As someone who now embraces having less and who has ditched all sorts of belongings (many of which were never used to begin with), I prefer giving cash. I have one friend (13 years older than I am) who will NOT give cash. Period. She thinks it is horribly tacky to ask for cash.
I am all for getting whatever the couple wants - whether cash or wares.
Though, now, because of the other thread on gifts for a mature bride, I may start gifting gurgling cods!! Lol!
Why would you question the couple’s choice to want or NEED the honeymoon fund? Who knows best what the couple needs/wants - the couple or the couple’s family?
I think we can get too stuck on physical gifts and stuff. Should we question why a couple needs a kitchen aide stand mixer when they don’t bake? Or why they want/need a Smeg toaster when they could make do with an Oster?
They make their choices known through a registry which makes things easier for them and for us. We then can make our choice from that registry - based on what we can afford or what we like to give. A third choice - something WE think they should need/want - sounds like we are catering to ourselves.
We also don’t really know a couple’s financial situation
We tend to give cash gifts (checks) along with some useful but small gift. The cash gift is actually our gift, but I just like to give something for the couple to have.
Re: funds…we figure the couple can put our cash towards whatever fund they have…or not.
Gotta say that we had a mix of registry items and money that we used for our honeymoon. I remember the honeymoon much more vividly than who gave us what from the registry. 28 years ago.
Totally agree about giving gifts that aren’t on the registry