The plate cost was just that - the price of the meal. My friend paid $77 for her daughter’s bat mitzvah and that was just the food. Didn’t include the rental of the space, the photography, flowers, favors, cake, games, liquor, clothing, etc. It also didn’t include the brunch at the temple after the morning service (which I know was $7000!) I did not cover our plates (3x$77).
I don’t think anyone was ever expecting the gifts to cover the whole event even in cultures where ‘cover your plate’ was the norm.
Our D’s wedding two weeks ago was very low key and casual. They are pretty minimalist and didn’t have any kind of a registry or shower. Their invites asked for guests presence, and they told people if they wanted to gift them, they’d put it towards their honeymoon experiences.
Favors were flower seeds.
We have a wedding for a cousin in the fall. I’ll probably give cash, which seems to be their wish as well.
Went to a wedding last night. There was a beautiful cage/box for guests to put their envelopes with gifts in. I guess that is what has replaced the satin drawstring bag the bride carried back in the 70s. BTW the wedding was Italian/Albanian.
I like planning and giving favors. For bar mitzvah, a CD case. Also, lap top looking chocolate with all the keys and other details, kosher too. Nothing was left behind.
The kids and in-laws weren’t interested in favors of good bags for wedding. The wedding was help in a brewery, so I got bottle openers. The kids put in small beer bucket, with a sign, when people were leaving.
The goody bags was a joint effort with my sister. She got the best reusable grocery bags. I ordered the favorite treats of everyone, health bars, Garrett popcorn, small jar of star war bandaids, hair scrunches, small medical kit, sewing kit, etc. I included small jar of Kelsey’s Italian spice, my sister brought chili powder plus. Some items were personalized, like mints in a tin, gummy bears and lip balm. Most expensive item were beautifully wrapped boxes of mixed chocolates, from my local chocolate store. I included a note about the meaning of the items.
Anyway, we had fun. Lots of compliments. This was my last time to be creative (though I worked with a GF for her son’s wedding).
Our kids aren’t married yet, but it sure is for us and our family. We don’t use weddings to keep score.
Also, people need to have weddings they can afford. It’s not up to the guests to cover their plates so the people throwing the wedding can recoup their costs.
Lots of people whose wedding I’ve attended have included the opportunity to contribute to the honeymoon. I just looked at m y D’s registry, and they have a new puppy fund. This is going to come as a shock to the two kitties who currently reign over the household.
To continue my report from last night’s wedding. No favors on the table. And something I have never seen before - an armed security guard in the lobby for the entire event. (This was in a pretty remote town in NJ.)
The security guard may have been required by the venue. More and more are requiring it.
My daughter was in the wedding of a guy who was the security guard at the church (don’t think they had one at his wedding). For church services, they collect money and need a guard to secure and transport it.
Not one, but TWO cats to boss her around! 